I’m a Libra with a Cancer boyfriend. We’ve been together four years now. Currently, we’re going to college in different states a couple hours apart. The problem is, I want a chance to be single before I can consider getting married (which is definitely the path we’re headed down). The thought of talking to him about it pains me so much and I’ve been avoiding it. I love him, and I would never, EVER want to hurt him. Not to mention our lives are so intertwined, being not-completely-together would probably cause much awkwardness back home. To complicate matters, I have a Libra friend who apparently has serious feelings for me, and after a great deal of self-denial, I’ve realized I am extremely attracted to him. There’s a chemistry there that I lack with my boyfriend, BUT I think my boyfriend and I have the compatibility to one day make a great marriage. I am just nervous about settling down for life with someone I’ve been with since I was barely old enough to drive. What should I do? Risk the long-term with my boyfriend for youthful freedom, or stay committed to something that’s most likely a sure thing? —Indecisive Libra

My birthday is 1/29/89 and his is 7/20/88. We’ve been dating for four months, which I know is only a short while, but I’m falling for him.  He has most of the qualities I want in a guy: goal-oriented, attractive, and smart. People have said that if a guy is not looking for anything serious, you won’t have access to his life away from you. I assume he likes me because he always invites me to his house, around his family (which is huge), his friends, and even invited me to his basketball games with his homeboys. Good signs of better things to come? However, he refuses to meet my family and only makes the effort to come to my house when no one is there.  He’s a quiet person, but does express things that he never told anyone before. He can be so passionate, wanting to spend time with me, but other times I don’t hear from him for days. Just recently, he expressed to me that he feels as though I “don’t think” about him, because I don’t call him that often. I’m not the bug-a-boo type. I know that being an Aquarius, I have the tendency of being aloof at times, but I don’t think I am wishy-washy like he is.  Hopefully, I am clear on what my problem is because, honestly, I am confused as to what to make of his actions.  What do you think?  Is this something worth holding onto?  Am I trippin’? —K-Ball

I’m a Capricorn (25/12/91) and I’ve been seeing a Pisces (24/02/93) for about one and a half years. Our relationship has been very good most of the time. He is everything a Pisces guy should be: romantic, giving, loving and gentle. However, for the past few months, we’ve had several quarrels that lasted for days, but everything turned out all right in the end and things went back to normal — but just last week, we had another quarrel over a minor issue and I pushed him away in a moment of anger and used harsh words. He took it all in and acted fine, but then later the same day he told me he needed a break.  At first, he told me that the reason was because he didn’t want us to continue like we have been and for things where we wouldn’t be able to keep in contact. I took it for real and told him I would move on. Right after that, he told me he still loved me a lot and that he was simply very tired from the quarrels and needed time to pick himself up. He added that he would return for me when he was feeling better again. I love him very much and asked him to stay. He did. He still tells me he loves me and we still go out often, but he doesn’t seem to be the same. When I am not out with him, he doesn’t talk to me and told me he needed some time alone. He used to be very caring, but now he seems to keep to himself. It is making me feel insecure. I am confused by the reasons he gave for the breakup and I am worried things will remain this way. Is there any way that I can help him or am I just wasting my time hoping things would be like how it was before the breakup? —Lost Capricorn

My birthday is Aug. 27, 1987 and my Libra boyfriend is Oct. 1, 1986. I just can’t understand my boyfriend’s actions right now. We met back in February and fell deeply in love. After about two months, he got scared and left me. I didn’t contact him at all while he did his disappearing act, but two months later, in August, he contacted me. He even had the nerve to get angry because he called me late at night and I didn’t answer because I was asleep. Still, he appeared to be a different man—I gave him the cold shoulder at first, but when he pleaded his case and proved he was truly different by voicing all of his feelings openly and honestly, I believed him and let him earn my trust back. Now here it is October, and I haven’t heard from him in almost a week. He’s doing his disappearing act again. He says he’s scared because he’s joined the Army and he’s very depressed—but that he does love me. I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to leave me again. This was so sudden. He was tender and loving one night, and then two days later he doesn’t want to talk to me.  He leaves for the Army next month and I’ve only had two five-minute phone conversations with him for a month now. I can’t continue like this in a relationship. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know whether to think he’s leaving me or not. Please help! —Jeanne

“I’m a Virgo (9/4/87) and my best friend is a Gemini (6/10/85). He’s perfect (or at least seems that way). We started hanging out last year, but we’ve been BFF ever since. I did like him a lot about six months ago and told him so, but unfortunately he had eyes for another woman at the time. We didn’t talk for a week, but then reconciled and we still talk nearly everyday for hours at a time. We’ve both dated people since then and our dating lives seems like the only topic we can’t discuss unless one of us is having a big problem and need help from the other sex. We’re both seeing other people right now, but I was talking to a mutual friend the other night who told me that my face lit up whenever he texted me or I even made mention of him. I feel like I’ve repressed my feelings for him because I don’t want to get hurt, but is there any chance he likes me too and not in the best friend way? I know I should ask him, but I don’t want to get my heart stomped on again.” —Hopelessly Perplexed

I am a Virgo (9/4/87) who recently started dating a Scorpio (11/2/83) and despite how much I like him, I can’t understand a thing he says or does.  I learned very early on that he had pegged me as having potential for a long-term relationship, which makes me pretty uncomfortable since he wants a career, and all I want right now is to make some money and go travel the world — but despite his desire for something significant, he has a really hard time wanting to get to know me. 

I’ve met his family and his friends and heard all about his past, but he has stated several times that he doesn’t want to meet the people in my life. I think he’s uncomfortable that my best friend is male (6/10/85). I’m not sure how he can want to be with me, but not want to understand where I’m coming from or get to know the people in my life.  I’m worried that things are going to get difficult, as my friends are so important to me. I really don’t know if he is going to let up, especially since Scorpios are so stubborn and he is getting me so involved in his life. Help! —Confused Virgo

I’m an Aries who has been in a very fun, comfortable relationship with an Aquarius for two and a half years.  We have a lot of fun together and it feels like we balance each other out.  The problem is, in May I went back home (halfway across the country) to visit my parents and spent every day for two weeks with an old friend (Libra) with whom I shared an extremely brief but strong attraction before meeting the Aquarius.  Because of the distance and other people in our lives—my Aquarius and his Taurus—we moved on.  We were friends before and still are, and I can’t even be sure that there are romantic feelings there anymore. However, the two weeks I spent with Mr. Libra were fantastic.  Fun, funny, exciting, and when it came time for me to drive home it felt like all my feelings for my beloved Aquarius had evaporated. 

I’m a Pisces (2/21/91) and my boyfriend of seven months is a Scorpio (11/14/86). I need help trying to fix this relationship. Ever since May our relationship started to change—he calls and visits less, we argue often, and he spends more time with his friends than he does with me. Now we’re on break.  I really care about him and we’ve had some great times. How do I fix it? I’ve spoken to him about this, but to no avail. —Panicked Pisces

I emailed a few months ago about a lesbian couple — an Aquarius and a Libra. Your advice was to break up with her and I did, after a few months. Then we got back together and broke up again, all because I don’t know if I’m gay or straight. I know this isn’t what you usually do, but my friends suck at giving advice, and I have no one else to talk to.

I love her, I do, but I think it is more of the “I’m comfortable with you, and I care about you a lot,” kind of love — the friend kind.  I want her in my life, but I know that if we break up again, she’ll be crushed. She might use the suicide thing against me again and I know I can’t take that.  She is completely head over heels for me, and I’m never sure what I feel for her.  I don’t get the sparks when we kiss anymore, but I get them when I see a girl and a guy kiss in a movie or what have you. I’m actually 90 percent sure I’m straight, but then there are days that I think I could stay with her forever. I’m about to start college in the fall, and I would really like to know what I’m doing when I get there. —Confused One

“I am a Leo (8/21/93) and my ex is a Libra (9/29/88). The beginning was wonderful, but after a while it went downhill (for six months!). He works all the time and he’s very busy. He procrastinates and makes empty promises. I’m really in love with him and he claims to love me and says he will improve—but he doesn’t. Is there any hope? Are we compatible? Should I try to make it work? How do I get this astrological sign to want me back? How do I get his attention? Is this the way Libra men act when they’re not ready for a relationship?” —Leo Lady

I’ve (11/11/79) recently begun hanging out with the brother of an old friend (11/21/77)and what started as a ball-busting friendship is turning into an intense sexual attraction. We tend to have those conversations that potentially evolve into amazing earth-shattering sex punctuated by laughter and general awesomeness. We’ve both admitted that we feel uncommonly comfortable with each other and we’re sometimes brutally honest. Here’s the issue: right now neither one of us is in a place where we feel able to give a relationship our attention. He’s facing a MAJOR career-altering event in two months (hopefully once in a lifetime event), and I need a few weeks after school ends to get my s**t together after a career-altering and uncommonly stressful year. (I’m a teacher and grad student.) We both need lots of sex, and a primarily sexual relationship is OK with me for the foreseeable future. The problem is that we have an awesome connection, and I’m afraid I will get all dramatic in a few months if it has to end. I hate drama and he’s one of my best friends at the moment.  I do not deal very well with uncertainty about this kind of stuff, which is probably why I am frequently single and a frequent battery-buyer. I like being in control, but I have never wanted to lose control more in my life. —Sex Starved

I am an Aries (3/28/89 at 4:25 a.m.) and the guy is a Libra (10/2/1987). We’ve been dating for two years. However, since late last year, he has been having what I call an “early life crisis.” He wants to hang out with his friends and he restarted his friendship with an ex-girlfriend; there is hardly time for us anymore. Our last conversation became heated when we didn’t listen to what each other had to say. I ranted about how I felt about the direction of our relationship, but the conversation soured quickly. He wants to “figure things out.”

He is learning to grow up on his own after a difficult life with his family. He understands that our relationship has become problematic, and he repeatedly explains that he’s just confused on the direction of his life. I’ve been really patient with him for the past couple months, but I do not know how much longer I can be. I’d like to sit down and talk things out with him, but there’s no effort by him to do so. I feel conflicted on what to do—can we reconcile as a couple or are we better off on our own separate ways? —Confused Aries

I (1/22/89) have been in and out of a serious relationship with my ex (3/04/88) for almost two years. We hit it off right away, but I was leaving for a few months and he didn’t want to do a long distant thing. We dated anyway and things got very serious. After I left, he visited and asked me out. I tried to keep the relationship light, despite my feelings, because I was young and we were far away. However, the biggest problem was he had mood swings and got really nasty. We had one big fight and broke up, but he said he still had feelings for me. We continued to date without having a title because he did not want to.

I (5/10/85) have been dating my boyfriend (6/27/78) for about a year and a half now. Our relationship is the best I’ve ever been in. We hardly fight (and not because one of us is holding something back, we are just highly compatible) and we like a lot of the same things. Our feelings about family, religion, and relationships are also similar.

But after over a year of dating, my boyfriend has yet to tell me he loves me. I brought up the topic about three months ago and he said, “Do I need to spell it out? Don’t my actions show you how I feel?” (I’m the first girl he’s ever introduced to his family and all his friends.) Then he said he hasn’t said the “L” word because there’s something “missing” between us.

I (8/31/84) have a great man (11/6/86) who couldn’t have a leisurely chat to save his life. He’s of the mindset that he will only speak if it’s of dire importance. The days I feel like being the listener are terrible — filled with awkward silences, where I seek solace in chattier friends and make him feel inadequate. The problem is I’m considering moving in with him after two years of long distance. The times we’ve visited each other are great, because actions really do speak louder than words and he never fails to make me feel like a goddess in person. This only partially quells my fears, because he’s made it very clear he wants to marry me. What is marriage without great communication? I’ve never been with the strong, silent type before, and we get in spats over it all the time. This is our only weak point. I know he’s a great man and I want this to work out.  Scorpios have physical down pat, but I am barking up the wrong tree expecting him to ravish my body and my mind? —Verbal Virgo

I’m a 21-year-old Virgo and this guy I’ve been seeing is a 21-year-old Gemini. Things have been good off and on since last November. We haven’t been exclusively dating because he wants to take things slowly and he just got out of an off/on again relationship with another Virgo. He warned me that he is pretty much a typical Gemini. We get along great and we communicate very well… when we want to. We both have a tendency to hide things, but these days things have been really open between the two of us. He and I broke up twice in the first three months of dating. (I dumped him the second time because he wanted to date other people.)

Please help, I can’t tell who the true top in my relationship is! I’m an Aquarian woman (2/6/72, 3:51 pm, Providence, RI) who has been dating a Virgo man (9/11/66, 1:59 am, Concord, NH) for four months. He told me he loved me within a week of dating, and has not hidden the fact that he would love to get married. We slept together on the first date, even though he has only been with a couple of women and claims to be very against casual hookups (I admit to seducing him). We are both extremely kinky, and have great sexual chemistry. 

My question involves which one of us is really the top. I’m an extremely dominant female, and he is very much the man’s man. While he seems to love his rightful place underneath me, sometimes he turns the tables on me out of the blue and pulls rank as the man of the house. I like both apparent sides to his personality coin, but I do worry that perhaps he’s allowing me to do things he doesn’t enjoy because he cares for me so much. I sense a hidden romantic under his tough exterior. I’m also already married to a woman, and although they have always known about each other (my wife and I are polyamorous), he does get jealous at times and I wonder if he will eventually push me to choose him or her. —Aroused Aquarian

“I’m a Libra woman (10/01/85) dating a Gemini woman (05/30/86). We started as friends, but then developed an attraction to each other. I’m a lesbian, but she made all the first moves, even though she identified as straight. She introduced herself, gave me her phone number, invited me over, asked me to be her girlfriend, etc. I feel like I can’t trust her because she has a lot of guy ‘friends,’ some are closer then others. When I try to get intimate with her, she pulls away and says, ‘If I let you, that’s when things will get crazy and I’ll want you all the time.’

I’m a virgin and I feel like she is having sex with other people. I tried talking to her about it, but she says it’s not all about sex. She always talks about herself and hardly anyone knows we’re together. I like her a lot, but I feel she could care less, though she claims to. I’m lost. Help!” —Lost Libra

I don’t know what to do about my Virgo coworker (9/09/77). I’m a much younger Taurus (5/09/87), and he’s been flirting with me since November. He stares at me often—to the point that other workers have noticed and commented. Most of the office assumes that there’s something between us, but we’ve grabbed dinner after work only once (and fast food hardly counts). I’ve asked him out on a few occasions, but he always declines. He says he has issues caused by an ex, who was also younger than him, that he’s still broken up about. Apparently, she left him after he got laid off, and she broke his heart.

He told a mutual friend that he thinks I’m very attractive and that he does like me, but he won’t date me because of the age difference. Personally, I think that age doesn’t matter. I hold a higher position, despite being one of the youngest in our office, and usually act more mature than he does. Is there something more that he won’t own up to? Am I missing something? Is there some way to show him that age is just a number?” —Too Stubborn to Give Up

“I’m a Scorpio (11/9/84 at 3:08pm) and the guy in question is a Pisces (3/15/84 at 4:26pm). I met him three years ago, and we dated for nine months. We ended up breaking up because he wasn’t able to juggle school, work, friendships and a girlfriend. Since then we have stayed really good friends. Last summer, after about 19 months, we started hooking up again, no strings attached. The problem is, I have been in love with him since the beginning. We both admit there is some strong connection between us, but I’m confused. He stated once before that he was afraid to get back with me because he didn’t want it to end badly and ruin our friendship. We often get into fights that are beyond heated and passionate, only to be fine with each other a few hours later, even if one of us has said we are walking away forever. Things have recently become more confusing since he started hooking up with a much older Gemini woman. Are we a match that will eventually work out when he gets over himself or am I wasting my breath?” —Optimistic Scorpio