I’m a Libra and he’s a Gemini. In some ways we are alike and others we are very different. We both have some anxiety, a tendency to be quite anal and organized, but I try not to let it get to me, whereas he has anxiety about it. For example, if his room isn’t clean, suddenly it will get to him and he MUST organize it. Right NOW. Things like that.

I’d like to think, however, that we’re both fun-loving and outgoing, and he just has anxiety about little things. If he loses something, he has to find it IMMEDIATELY. If he can’t find it, he replaces it immediately. I am tired of dumping out all of my stuff in my purse, duffel bag, etc., to find what he will inevitably find in five minutes with some basic searching. My deal: how do I handle him (sometimes) making a mountain out of dung?! Will he ever change? I hate picking up his anxiety and then five minutes later, he’s over it and I’m all stressed out! —Attempting to Chill

I believe my husband is a cheater. He seems so happy in our relationship, yet he is always making new female friends. I have no problem with him having female friends, however he hides the friendships from me and I have found messages from him to other women in which he’s asking them to “hook up.” When I try to discuss these things with him, he does not want to talk about it. When I have no proof, he insists that these girls are only friends. I’m not buying it. I do not understand why he wants to be with me so badly (according to him) if he is interested in other women. I am so confused about my marriage and what I should do. One thing that causes my confusion is the fact that my husband does not talk to me about these things, does not change his actions (such as hiding his cell phone or deleting text conversations between him and his female “friends”), and he acts like he would die without me. By the way, I am a Virgo (9/18/89) and he is a Libra (9/23/87). Please help! —Lost

“I am a Gemini (6/15) who got involved with a Scorpio (11/10) early last year. Things were GREAT before he left for school. We were even making plans for me to follow him out there after I finished school. However, things did not work out for him and he moved back home early this year. He has changed into a completely different person! He cheated on me constantly while he was gone, but I know how important sex is to Scorpios so I’m willing to let that go. However, everything that I’ve read on astrology tells me that Gemini/Scorpio is the WORST love combination (although we will have great sex, which we do) and that I should run screaming for the hills while I can. But I’ve fallen hard for this guy, even though we constantly fight and I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. My question is: is there something that maybe us Geminis do wrong that makes a relationship with a Scorpio so impossible? Or is it really just not in the stars for us?” —Spent

I’m a Sagittarius (12/13/89), and I have been seeing a Leo (7/23/76) for the past month. Before anything romantic happened between us, we worked together for about a year. He’s a lawyer and I was his secretary — and that situation, plus the age difference, has always made him feel as though he has the upper hand in the relationship.  Since we have started seeing each other romantically, he has started to be a bit of an a-hole. He likes to play up the whole jerk thing, can be selfish, and he constantly needs his ego stroked. Prior to hooking up, the two of us would always joke around with each other. We liked to tease each other and laugh a lot, and we still do that now, but it’s really hard to get him to be serious! Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated! —Fed Up

I (Mar. 29) was very infatuated with a man (May 7) for three years and one thing I was really attracted to (other than the sex) was his cleanliness. He was very particular about his clothes, smelled good, showered a lot, fine taste, etc.  Now, we live together and I find dirty underwear everywhere to the point where I wonder if he knows how to clean his ass. Plus, he never washes his hands when he leaves the bathroom. It’s so disgusting that it turns me off from being sexual with him now.  How do I mention this without being a nag or hurt his feelings? —Ms. Clean

“I (7/13/63) have been separated from my husband (11/30/69) since 2007. We have one child together. My husband does not want a divorce, but I do; yet I can’t seem to actually file the papers. I still care about him, but I can’t live with him, and I am not in love with him anymore. Every time I get up the nerve to end this marriage, he threatens to kill himself, or he acts so pathetic that I get suckered back into taking care of him. He has had ‘friendship’ relationships with his exes and lots of women on social networking sites for most of our relationship and still does. He also engages in reckless behavior. I can’t get past this and have always seen it as a dealbreaker, while he sees nothing wrong with it at all. Will I ever be able to finally put all this behind me and move on, or will I be hopelessly mired in this depressing, draining relationship? Please help!” —C

“I’m a Leo (08/10/84) and he’s a Scorpio (11/03/80). Long story short, we were in a long distance relationship for almost a year up until a few months. He fell hard for me initially. I was hesitant at first, but my feelings became pretty strong over time. We have plenty of similar qualities and great chemistry, and both of us are very passionate. Every relationship has its highs and lows, and it was during our last ‘low’ as a couple that he became wishy-washy and decided he wanted to ‘transition to more of a friendship.’ I think he found the distance part of it more difficult than I did, and while I didn’t want to give up on our relationship, I wanted to try to remain close friends since I love him and want him in my life.

 

It has been a bumpy road at times and we both have admitted we still have strong feelings for each other. There seems to be a double standard in that he expresses jealousy at the thought of me with another guy, but he thinks I should be okay with it if he meets some other girl sometime down the road. (He’ll often reference his Scorpio sign as a reason for this, stating that Scorpios can be possessive.) Thing is, I don’t wanna be with another guy. When I visited him a month ago, everything was same as usual — fun and romantic. Any advice for a gal trying to handle a Scorpio? Where do I go from here?” —JDub

I’m really liking this guy I work with.  We’ve been spending a little time together outside of work.  He isn’t my boss, I only see him at work occasionally, but he is a Cancer, and so am I.  We’re both divorced and committed to career. I’m further into divorced life though, and he’s barely divorced — year and a half.  I’m a total crab, and if he’s the same, do you think that we’re compatible? I’m trying to go super slow at this, because he’s still skittish about relationships.  He tells me he just wants to “have fun,” but he talks to mutual friends about me.  I think that’s a good thing.  I’m a hard-shelled girl, so if this turns out to be “just fun” sexing, I’m okay, but I really like him. The more time I spend with him, the deeper I get. Give me your thoughts, be honest. —Dizzy Lizzy

“I am a Libra woman (9/26/82) who began dating a Taurus man (4/22/83) from another country in August. From the first day he voiced his feelings for me and even stated on our third date that he wanted to be with me long-term i.e. marriage, kids, etc. I have never been told anything like this before and I was flattered, but also way cautious due to my last horrible relationship with a Taurus man.”

I’m a Libra with a Cancer boyfriend. We’ve been together four years now. Currently, we’re going to college in different states a couple hours apart. The problem is, I want a chance to be single before I can consider getting married (which is definitely the path we’re headed down). The thought of talking to him about it pains me so much and I’ve been avoiding it. I love him, and I would never, EVER want to hurt him. Not to mention our lives are so intertwined, being not-completely-together would probably cause much awkwardness back home. To complicate matters, I have a Libra friend who apparently has serious feelings for me, and after a great deal of self-denial, I’ve realized I am extremely attracted to him. There’s a chemistry there that I lack with my boyfriend, BUT I think my boyfriend and I have the compatibility to one day make a great marriage. I am just nervous about settling down for life with someone I’ve been with since I was barely old enough to drive. What should I do? Risk the long-term with my boyfriend for youthful freedom, or stay committed to something that’s most likely a sure thing? —Indecisive Libra

My birthday is 1/29/89 and his is 7/20/88. We’ve been dating for four months, which I know is only a short while, but I’m falling for him.  He has most of the qualities I want in a guy: goal-oriented, attractive, and smart. People have said that if a guy is not looking for anything serious, you won’t have access to his life away from you. I assume he likes me because he always invites me to his house, around his family (which is huge), his friends, and even invited me to his basketball games with his homeboys. Good signs of better things to come? However, he refuses to meet my family and only makes the effort to come to my house when no one is there.  He’s a quiet person, but does express things that he never told anyone before. He can be so passionate, wanting to spend time with me, but other times I don’t hear from him for days. Just recently, he expressed to me that he feels as though I “don’t think” about him, because I don’t call him that often. I’m not the bug-a-boo type. I know that being an Aquarius, I have the tendency of being aloof at times, but I don’t think I am wishy-washy like he is.  Hopefully, I am clear on what my problem is because, honestly, I am confused as to what to make of his actions.  What do you think?  Is this something worth holding onto?  Am I trippin’? —K-Ball

I’m a Capricorn (25/12/91) and I’ve been seeing a Pisces (24/02/93) for about one and a half years. Our relationship has been very good most of the time. He is everything a Pisces guy should be: romantic, giving, loving and gentle. However, for the past few months, we’ve had several quarrels that lasted for days, but everything turned out all right in the end and things went back to normal — but just last week, we had another quarrel over a minor issue and I pushed him away in a moment of anger and used harsh words. He took it all in and acted fine, but then later the same day he told me he needed a break.  At first, he told me that the reason was because he didn’t want us to continue like we have been and for things where we wouldn’t be able to keep in contact. I took it for real and told him I would move on. Right after that, he told me he still loved me a lot and that he was simply very tired from the quarrels and needed time to pick himself up. He added that he would return for me when he was feeling better again. I love him very much and asked him to stay. He did. He still tells me he loves me and we still go out often, but he doesn’t seem to be the same. When I am not out with him, he doesn’t talk to me and told me he needed some time alone. He used to be very caring, but now he seems to keep to himself. It is making me feel insecure. I am confused by the reasons he gave for the breakup and I am worried things will remain this way. Is there any way that I can help him or am I just wasting my time hoping things would be like how it was before the breakup? —Lost Capricorn

My birthday is Aug. 27, 1987 and my Libra boyfriend is Oct. 1, 1986. I just can’t understand my boyfriend’s actions right now. We met back in February and fell deeply in love. After about two months, he got scared and left me. I didn’t contact him at all while he did his disappearing act, but two months later, in August, he contacted me. He even had the nerve to get angry because he called me late at night and I didn’t answer because I was asleep. Still, he appeared to be a different man—I gave him the cold shoulder at first, but when he pleaded his case and proved he was truly different by voicing all of his feelings openly and honestly, I believed him and let him earn my trust back. Now here it is October, and I haven’t heard from him in almost a week. He’s doing his disappearing act again. He says he’s scared because he’s joined the Army and he’s very depressed—but that he does love me. I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to leave me again. This was so sudden. He was tender and loving one night, and then two days later he doesn’t want to talk to me.  He leaves for the Army next month and I’ve only had two five-minute phone conversations with him for a month now. I can’t continue like this in a relationship. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know whether to think he’s leaving me or not. Please help! —Jeanne

“I’m a Virgo (9/4/87) and my best friend is a Gemini (6/10/85). He’s perfect (or at least seems that way). We started hanging out last year, but we’ve been BFF ever since. I did like him a lot about six months ago and told him so, but unfortunately he had eyes for another woman at the time. We didn’t talk for a week, but then reconciled and we still talk nearly everyday for hours at a time. We’ve both dated people since then and our dating lives seems like the only topic we can’t discuss unless one of us is having a big problem and need help from the other sex. We’re both seeing other people right now, but I was talking to a mutual friend the other night who told me that my face lit up whenever he texted me or I even made mention of him. I feel like I’ve repressed my feelings for him because I don’t want to get hurt, but is there any chance he likes me too and not in the best friend way? I know I should ask him, but I don’t want to get my heart stomped on again.” —Hopelessly Perplexed

I am a Virgo (9/4/87) who recently started dating a Scorpio (11/2/83) and despite how much I like him, I can’t understand a thing he says or does.  I learned very early on that he had pegged me as having potential for a long-term relationship, which makes me pretty uncomfortable since he wants a career, and all I want right now is to make some money and go travel the world — but despite his desire for something significant, he has a really hard time wanting to get to know me. 

I’ve met his family and his friends and heard all about his past, but he has stated several times that he doesn’t want to meet the people in my life. I think he’s uncomfortable that my best friend is male (6/10/85). I’m not sure how he can want to be with me, but not want to understand where I’m coming from or get to know the people in my life.  I’m worried that things are going to get difficult, as my friends are so important to me. I really don’t know if he is going to let up, especially since Scorpios are so stubborn and he is getting me so involved in his life. Help! —Confused Virgo

I’m an Aries who has been in a very fun, comfortable relationship with an Aquarius for two and a half years.  We have a lot of fun together and it feels like we balance each other out.  The problem is, in May I went back home (halfway across the country) to visit my parents and spent every day for two weeks with an old friend (Libra) with whom I shared an extremely brief but strong attraction before meeting the Aquarius.  Because of the distance and other people in our lives—my Aquarius and his Taurus—we moved on.  We were friends before and still are, and I can’t even be sure that there are romantic feelings there anymore. However, the two weeks I spent with Mr. Libra were fantastic.  Fun, funny, exciting, and when it came time for me to drive home it felt like all my feelings for my beloved Aquarius had evaporated. 

I’m a Pisces (2/21/91) and my boyfriend of seven months is a Scorpio (11/14/86). I need help trying to fix this relationship. Ever since May our relationship started to change—he calls and visits less, we argue often, and he spends more time with his friends than he does with me. Now we’re on break.  I really care about him and we’ve had some great times. How do I fix it? I’ve spoken to him about this, but to no avail. —Panicked Pisces

I emailed a few months ago about a lesbian couple — an Aquarius and a Libra. Your advice was to break up with her and I did, after a few months. Then we got back together and broke up again, all because I don’t know if I’m gay or straight. I know this isn’t what you usually do, but my friends suck at giving advice, and I have no one else to talk to.

I love her, I do, but I think it is more of the “I’m comfortable with you, and I care about you a lot,” kind of love — the friend kind.  I want her in my life, but I know that if we break up again, she’ll be crushed. She might use the suicide thing against me again and I know I can’t take that.  She is completely head over heels for me, and I’m never sure what I feel for her.  I don’t get the sparks when we kiss anymore, but I get them when I see a girl and a guy kiss in a movie or what have you. I’m actually 90 percent sure I’m straight, but then there are days that I think I could stay with her forever. I’m about to start college in the fall, and I would really like to know what I’m doing when I get there. —Confused One

“I am a Leo (8/21/93) and my ex is a Libra (9/29/88). The beginning was wonderful, but after a while it went downhill (for six months!). He works all the time and he’s very busy. He procrastinates and makes empty promises. I’m really in love with him and he claims to love me and says he will improve—but he doesn’t. Is there any hope? Are we compatible? Should I try to make it work? How do I get this astrological sign to want me back? How do I get his attention? Is this the way Libra men act when they’re not ready for a relationship?” —Leo Lady

I’ve (11/11/79) recently begun hanging out with the brother of an old friend (11/21/77)and what started as a ball-busting friendship is turning into an intense sexual attraction. We tend to have those conversations that potentially evolve into amazing earth-shattering sex punctuated by laughter and general awesomeness. We’ve both admitted that we feel uncommonly comfortable with each other and we’re sometimes brutally honest. Here’s the issue: right now neither one of us is in a place where we feel able to give a relationship our attention. He’s facing a MAJOR career-altering event in two months (hopefully once in a lifetime event), and I need a few weeks after school ends to get my s**t together after a career-altering and uncommonly stressful year. (I’m a teacher and grad student.) We both need lots of sex, and a primarily sexual relationship is OK with me for the foreseeable future. The problem is that we have an awesome connection, and I’m afraid I will get all dramatic in a few months if it has to end. I hate drama and he’s one of my best friends at the moment.  I do not deal very well with uncertainty about this kind of stuff, which is probably why I am frequently single and a frequent battery-buyer. I like being in control, but I have never wanted to lose control more in my life. —Sex Starved