Nature, you sexy beast. This timelapse video of various flowers blooming — including my beloved PEONY, which is in season right now, YIPPPPPEEEEE — is downright sensual and I NEVER use that word. It’s actually from 2009 and is promotion for a cool-seeming app called Bloomclock which shows the passage of time via the blooming of various flowers. Puttin’ it on my download list! [Bloomclock via YouTube]
Does the thought of missing Mr. Bojangles’ adorably pawing at shadows on the wall give you social anxiety? Kittyo, an intriguing/obnoxious new app, will allow you to hang out with your cat via iPhone remote control when you’re not home.
Kittyo features a webcam for owners to check in on their cats, a remote-controlled laser pointer for playing, and a treat dispenser. “Pet parents” can even talk to their pets from afar — all of it controlled through a smartphone. Keep reading »
Doughbot is the stuff the American Dream is made of: for only 99 cents, you can have at your fingertips access to the exact location of any and all doughnut sellers near you. I don’t love paying for apps, but sometimes you just need a fix, you know? The app works by scanning Instagram, Yelp and Yahoo and determining which artisanal doughnut is within the shortest distance of your current location. Yes, the word “artisanal” makes me sigh heavily in most contexts too (I live in Brooklyn, so it happens a lot), but we must acknowledge that artisanal doughnuts are more delicious than your run-of-the-mill franchise pastry. Doughbot understands the importance of quality artery-crushing treats without bringing a snooty attitude to the party. Their promo video is way too cheerful for food snobs. Can I swim in doughnuts like their little cartoon robot does? Someone sign me up! [Gothamist]
If you’ve ever had the misfortune of being on a date gone terribly wrong, you’re not alone. When it comes to playing the field, first dates and awkward moments go hand in hand. From uncomfortable silences to tension you could cut with a knife, we’ve all been through dates that were so terrible that sending out an S.O.S. seemed like the next best option. Check out apps that can save you from a bad date on Your Tango…
Lindsay Lohan may keep track of her sexual conquests on paper, but in the 21st century, we can all use an app on our phone. It’s called Nipple.io and it’s a spreadsheet containing detailed information about all of your sex partners. All the fuck-data is collected on the main Nipple.io site (which, by the way, is so riddled with typos — they may speak the language of love, but English is not their first language), which also features a “Tiger Woods Award” for the most active users each week. It looks to me like this will go from beta to bust: not even bros are anal enough (no pun intended) to input every handjob and fingerbang. And unless your list has Heath Ledger and James Franco on it, like Lindsay’s does, who cares? [Nipple.io via Nerve] [Image of a sex app via Shutterstock]
A sex new app called Lick This allows users to engage in interactive exercises that supposedly train your tongue for pleasure. I know what you’re thinking: Great idea, but how is that possible without actually licking my iPhone screen? Answer: it’s not. You are meant to flick a light switch, move a zipper up and down, solve a maze, crank a handle and ring a doorbell with your tongue ON YOUR GERM-INFESTED SCREEN. And then you want to put that dirty mouth in some unlucky person’s pants? I think not. Although the app’s creators suggest that you wrap your phone in plastic before you get down to business, we know that people are about as likely to do that as they are to use a dental dam. Keep reading »