I joined Tinder last month at the insistence of my friends. Before I downloaded the app, I had no clue what it was, but listening to my buddies raving about it, you’d think it was the second coming of Facebook.
For guys who love looking at pictures of girls in bikinis and frivolously casting a split-second judgment on them (guys like me, I mean), it came pretty close to being the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Well, for a week or so anyway. Read more …
With every New Year comes a new round of technological gadgets that are supposed to make our lives easier. Not only do they usually do that, but after awhile someone realizes that on top of bringing us closer — communication wise — and making the world seem smaller, the aforementioned gadgets are actually really handy when it comes to pornography.
Whether you need a porn fix while you’re on-the-go, or you want to direct your own personal skin-flick, 2013 has some technology to help you do just that. Read more…
Rock ‘n’ roller Chubby Checker is in a twist about a penis size app that shares his name. The 71-year-old musician is suing Hewlett-Packard to the tune of half a million dollars for “irreparable damage and harm” caused by the “Chubby Checker” app for HP’s Palm OS. The app has since been removed from the HP catalogue, but the previous description read: “Any of you ladies out there just start seeing someone new and wondering what the size of their member is? … All you need to do is find out the man’s shoe size and plug it in and … there is no need for disappointment or surprise.” Keep reading »
I’m weird. I’m very weird. I’m proud of how weird I am. You’re probably weird, too. I think everyone is weird in their own unique way. Like snowflakes. When I found out that there was a BellyButton app for my iPhone, my first reaction was, “I want it.” It does nothing but show pictures of belly buttons. That’s it. The iTunes store review of it says, “Pointless, bizarre, and strangely amusing.” That’s really all I’m looking for in an app. In life, really.
If belly buttons aren’t your thing, there’s a whole world of bizarre apps to entertain oddballs like you and me. I found a whole bunch of them just for us.
Last week, Jessica told you about The Boyfriend Maker, a smartphone app that allows users to have a simulated boyfriend experience, without all the messy emotional problems and intimacy. Sounds awesome, right? Except the Boyfriend Maker app seems to have acquired some artificial intelligence and is now kind of a monster. Keep reading »
OMFG! I’ve discovered the most worthwhile way to waste time EVER. Amelia informed me that a Tyra Banks Smize Yourself! app existed and of course, I purchased it immediately.
Basically, you line up your face in a cut out and then you smize into the camera while Tyra tells you how “fierce” you look. (I know this to be a blatant lie because I’m working from home today and and haven’t brushed my hair or put on any makeup.) Then Tyra’s tells you that she’s “cooking up your smize.” Then you wait and about 30 seconds later a bad picture of yourself is transformed into an even worse picture of you looking like some kind of deranged fucking alien that Tim Burton shat out. Keep reading »
Today in “brilliant ideas that only exist because people are awful,” the most popular movie theater chain in the world, Cinemark, has debuted a new app to dissuade moviegoers from texting during movies. Here’s how it works: when a movie starts, people are prompted to use the Cinemark app to put their phones into “Cinemode.” The program tracks whether or not the cell phone was used during the movie; if you’re a good little girl or boy and manage to watch an entire movie without texting your friends or updating your Facebook status, you’ll be rewarded with a discount coupon for your next movie ticket. Keep reading »
Ladies and Gents, it’s time! The iPhone 5 is here. So what’s so special about this version? For starters there’s a larger Retina display. This basically means that everything on your phone is going to be crisper and clearer. The LTE wireless technology will also speed up all connections and the new A6 chip makes everything twice as fast so you can get the information you need at lightning speed. Here’s the kicker, it won’t drain your battery life. So, what’s the downside? New type of charger and still no flash. Whether this version is going to be the best ever yet is up to debate. In the meantime, I figured why not compile a top 10 list of apps that have made my phone the most important item in my purse.
1. Find iPhone App: If you lose your phone this app will pinpoint its location on a map for you. Even better, if someone’s stolen your phone you can remotely wipe it and shut it off. Read more…
Most of what we know about ancient cultures is based on their technology. We know what they ate based on the grains that are mashed into their stoneware and what they did for fun based on the absence of video games in their little mud huts. Similarly, we can tell a great deal about modern douchebags by the apps that they’re apparently spending money on. These are apps that could only be used by a very specific type of person. If you’re a regular person, your regular-person shield (otherwise known as common human decency) will repel you from apps like … Keep reading »