Most of what we know about ancient cultures is based on their technology. We know what they ate based on the grains that are mashed into their stoneware and what they did for fun based on the absence of video games in their little mud huts. Similarly, we can tell a great deal about modern douchebags by the apps that they’re apparently spending money on. These are apps that could only be used by a very specific type of person. If you’re a regular person, your regular-person shield (otherwise known as common human decency) will repel you from apps like … Keep reading »
I mean really, it’s antediluvian, not to mention totally cliche, to steal a kiss under the mistletoe. That was so last century. Way more romantic (and modern) than mistletoe is cameltoe. A new mobile app, Under the Cameltoe, allows you to log on, pick from a variety of genitals in too-tight garments, hold that “toe” up, and kiss your sweetie underneath it. Romantic!
Lushes and music lovers (that’s all of us, then?): go ahead and add Drinkify to your list of fail-safe time wasters (if you have one; I do). The website is brand new, having been created over the weekend at Music Hack Day in Boston, and ooh, it is cool and I could do it all day long. Plug in what you’re listening to, or what you’re not listening to, or what you wish you were listening to, and Drinkify will respond with a choice of alcohol to pair perfectly with your musical tastes. For example, got a little Nina Simone on the stereo? Pop open a bottle of cabernet and serve at room temperature. Pearl Jam? Crack open a can of PBR. Meanwhile, Adele has her own specialty cocktail, made up of vodka, coconut milk, and honey. Yum! Cheers!
Apparently even French mothers have trouble answering the question “gay or European?” A new smartphone app offers French mothers a questionnaire to help figure out if their sons like sticking their French bread in a warm, buttery croissant … or not. The $2.69 app asks 20 questions which inquire whether their bébé mimics gay stereotypes like enjoying show tunes, dressing well, and eschewing sports. Somewhat more controversially, some questions assume it’s the parents’ “fault” a child is gay, like asking if he had an absent father or the mother was authoritarian growing up. If the questionnaire assesses mama‘s crisply dressed, show-tune loving frog is gay, it tells her to “accept it.” But if he’s just a little, uh, European, the questionnaire reads, “You have nothing to worry about, your son is not gay. So you have a very good chance of being a grandmother with all the joys that brings.” How sensitive. [RFI.fr via The Awl] Keep reading »
Now you can add cuteness to the most difficult-to-write texts and emails with AnimalFont, a typography for your iPhone made entirely of balloon animals. It also has a special shake feature that creates adorable sound effects with every word. If that wasn’t enough, the developers are donating proceeds to relief efforts in Japan. Yay! I am so buying this app and using it exclusively to compose controversial/unpleasant communication. I wonder how “You’re a lame tard!” or “Thanks for forgetting my birthday, bitch!” looks and sounds in AnimalFont? It’s hard to get mad at a balloon animal. [Buzzaurus] Keep reading »
Ten years ago, when I was 17, I got into a car with a young guy I barely knew who was a customer at my job. We drove deep into the woods, parked his car, and got stoned. Bryan* eventually became my boyfriend, but I often think back to that night when I went off with a strange guy — and more than a few other nights like it — that could have gone wrong. I’ve always been a risk-taker, but, knock on wood, all the risks I took when I maybe should have heeded some “stranger danger” have turned out safe. But I know not every guy or girl is so lucky and this is how date rape and other acts of violence happens.
Could smartphones help keep people safe on dates, at parties and during risk-taking adventures? An app from the
YMCA YWCA in Canada called “Siren Safety” thinks it just might. Keep reading »
Wondering what would your breasts look like if they were bigger? There’s an app for that! iAugment is a Photoshop-style iPhone app that uses a 3D pic of your chest to show you how you’d look with bigger jigglies. iAugment allows you to view 17 different breast implant sizes — from “Blake Lively goes softcore” to “Sheyla Hershey circus boobs.” (Just kidding, they’re not really called that.) Created by plastic surgeon Elizabeth Kinsley from New Orleans, the iAugment app claims to help women decide if they really want a boob job. In reality, I think we all know that
14-year-old boys every adult man we know is going to digitally play with their lady friend’s boobs on iAugment ad nauseum. Amiright, boys? [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »
I’m a staunch believer in buying clothes and shoes on eBay. Though not a lover of used things, I am a huge fan of deals, and the enormous selection of new goods still tagged and in their boxes makes it my go to website when I’ve got something very specific in mind and don’t want to pay full price. (I got new studded Prada heels for $400 from $800 this summer, for example. Win.) Annoyingly, though, eBay’s iPhone app isn’t great for browsing, meaning that my shopping problems used to have to wait for a desk top. Now, however, I’ve been obsessing inappropriately all morning with the new eBay fashion app for iPhone. The app lets you store items you’re interested in a virtual “closet,” share links via Facebook, Twitter, and a whole cadre of other social media outlets and even build outfits using items from different parts of the site. Download it here. [Forbes] Keep reading »
It’s that time of year, ladies: heat waves burning across the continental U.S. and Leering McLeerers are coming out of the woodwork. (Or is it up from the sludge?) Not that McLeerers wait until sundress season to sexually harass women in public. Many is the man who finds something sexually foul to say when you’re wearing a down parka. A new iPhone app, soon to receive approval from the Apple app store, will let women in New York City chronicle their sexual harassment on a map. It’s created by the women behind the Hollaback! blogs, where women in cities across the country write in with their experiences of street harassment and sometimes even snap cellie pics of the douches who pester them. Keep reading »