I was born with a giant, gaping hole in the roof of my mouth. Also known as a cleft palate, the cave within my lips has been through a 20-year nightmare from which I recently awoke. A rather rare occurrence, I was born with a cleft palate, but not a cleft lip.
My cleft palate surgery was performed when I was two-years-old. The opening was closed, but the odyssey was only beginning. A couple of years later, I had another surgery to have little tubes implanted into my ears, called ear tubes, to help me hear better. My cleft palate would cause many earaches and a mild loss of hearing, so these tubes, protected from the water with custom-made, hot pink earplugs, were crucial. Later on in life, I would have these tubes ripped out of my ears while wide-awake, resulting in one of the two most painful experiences of my life. The doctor told me I could punch him after he was finished, and I took him up on the offer as I was screaming bloody murder. Keep reading »
What I’m about to say isn’t going to make you love me. It isn’t PC, and it certainly wouldn’t get high marks from the judges in a beauty pageant question and answer round. It is shallow, and a thing that none of us are supposed to say. But it is also honest:
Looks matter to me. Sometimes a lot. Keep reading »
In today’s totally scientific study of the day, we learn that attractive women are more likely to have daughters than unattractive women. Or, are they? The results, you see, are a tad confusing. First, “Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa, of the London School of Economics, analyzed data from a survey of 17,000 babies born in Britain in March 1958 and tracked them throughout their lives. At the age of 7, their attractiveness was rated by their teachers.” That part is really weird, right? What kind of teachers are rating the attractiveness of their 7-year-old students? Anyway, these kids were tracked down years later when they turned 45 and asked about the gender of their children, and that’s where things got really strange. Keep reading »
Late last month, Republican firebrand Ann Coulter spoke at Homocon, an event organized by GOProud, an organization of gay conservatives. In her remarks, she tried to convince gays and lesbians in attendance that they shouldn’t want, or have the right, to get married. The week before that, following her victory in the Delaware GOP primary, Christine O’Donnell became a household name (and a political punch line), mostly thanks to her arch-conservative views on sex and masturbation.
More recently, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi predicted that the U.S. military’s controversial “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy would be dead by the end of this year. And in a few days, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will be heading to the Balkans to attend talks between Serbia and Kosovo on Kosovar independence.
Important issues, sure, but let’s not let them distract us from what really matters, people: Are these ladies hot or not? Keep reading »
I’ll save you all the nitty-gritty, scientific-y details and just give you the good news. Forget about your diet and focus on your face cream if you’re in the market for a long-term mate. A new study by Dr. Currie at Royal Society University in London confirmed that men and women approach long-term relationships in a similar way—both genders pay way more attention to gorgeous faces than hot bodies. When it comes to short-term relationships … well, women were more likely to go for face over body while the dudes placed much more importance on the body than the face. Shocker. Gives a whole new meaning to the term “butter face.” [Evolution and Human Behavior] Keep reading »
Gym addicts may not be the shallow narcissists we think they are. Most people — more than 54 percent of 2,882 polled by EveryDay Health and the American Council on Fitness — said their health was the reason they exercised, not a quest for the perfect beach bod, and they’re doing it for their loved ones. More than 90 percent of the participants were women with an average age of 44. Seventy-nine percent of the total respondents said they would still work out even if there were a magic pill to maintain a trim and fit physique. Only 15 percent said they’d become inactive couch potatoes. One researcher said she felt reassured that health was more important to exercise fanatics than appearance and weight control. She also suggested that people might be unwilling to give up exercising because it’s a great stress reliever. [Reuters] Keep reading »
Yesterday’s Urban Dictionary word of the day was “butter face,” defined as:
“n. A girl who is hot, except for her (but her, butter) face.”
Basically, it means a girl with a sexually attractive body but a less-attractive face. So of course I put the link to “butter face” definition in my Gchat away message with some grumbly comment about the obnoxiousness of the phrase.
But then a male friend IMed me to say, “Simmer down, that’s not sexist! ‘Butterface’ just means the same thing as calling a man ‘ugly.’” But really, it doesn’t! “Ugly” can apply to both men and women, but “butterface” labels a woman only by her appearance. Men are always going to assess women’s face, legs, ass, boobs—that’s just what healthy human sexual attraction is. But labeling her based on what he considers to be her worst feature is just mean and nasty. It’s crueler still because there is no male equivalent.
Keep reading »
Top Row: Original, Child, Teen; Middle Row: Afro-Caribbean, East Asian, Masculinese; Bottom Row: Modigliani, 50% Ape, Manga
How much do I love fun online gizmos which allow you to upload a photo and distort your appearance in bizarre ways? The Face Transformer allows you to see what you’d look like as a baby, a teenager (always uglier, fyi) Afro-Caribbean, East-Asian, Manga cartoon, or muse of Modigliani, amongst others. Needless to say, I look scary as anything other than a young adult white woman. Though I do think I am a touch fetching as a Manga cartoon. Now go have fun! [The Face Transformer] Keep reading »