I was born with a giant, gaping hole in the roof of my mouth. Also known as a cleft palate, the cave within my lips has been through a 20-year nightmare from which I recently awoke. A rather rare occurrence, I was born with a cleft palate, but not a cleft lip.
My cleft palate surgery was performed when I was two-years-old. The opening was closed, but the odyssey was only beginning. A couple of years later, I had another surgery to have little tubes implanted into my ears, called ear tubes, to help me hear better. My cleft palate would cause many earaches and a mild loss of hearing, so these tubes, protected from the water with custom-made, hot pink earplugs, were crucial. Later on in life, I would have these tubes ripped out of my ears while wide-awake, resulting in one of the two most painful experiences of my life. The doctor told me I could punch him after he was finished, and I took him up on the offer as I was screaming bloody murder. Keep reading »
What I’m about to say isn’t going to make you love me. It isn’t PC, and it certainly wouldn’t get high marks from the judges in a beauty pageant question and answer round. It is shallow, and a thing that none of us are supposed to say. But it is also honest:
Looks matter to me. Sometimes a lot. Keep reading »
In today’s totally scientific study of the day, we learn that attractive women are more likely to have daughters than unattractive women. Or, are they? The results, you see, are a tad confusing. First, “Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa, of the London School of Economics, analyzed data from a survey of 17,000 babies born in Britain in March 1958 and tracked them throughout their lives. At the age of 7, their attractiveness was rated by their teachers.” That part is really weird, right? What kind of teachers are rating the attractiveness of their 7-year-old students? Anyway, these kids were tracked down years later when they turned 45 and asked about the gender of their children, and that’s where things got really strange. Keep reading »
Late last month, Republican firebrand Ann Coulter spoke at Homocon, an event organized by GOProud, an organization of gay conservatives. In her remarks, she tried to convince gays and lesbians in attendance that they shouldn’t want, or have the right, to get married. The week before that, following her victory in the Delaware GOP primary, Christine O’Donnell became a household name (and a political punch line), mostly thanks to her arch-conservative views on sex and masturbation.
More recently, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi predicted that the U.S. military’s controversial “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy would be dead by the end of this year. And in a few days, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will be heading to the Balkans to attend talks between Serbia and Kosovo on Kosovar independence.
Important issues, sure, but let’s not let them distract us from what really matters, people: Are these ladies hot or not? Keep reading »