As someone who is well versed in making up fake boyfriends, and even better at making them zero percent believable [Hello Jamie from Escondido, who was a bad fake boyfriend given that A) all of my friends had actually met the real Jamie from Escondido, and B) we had met him at CHEERLEADING CAMP], I can attest to the naive foolishness that leads a lady to invent a relationship that does not exist.
It’s a wish fulfillment boyfriend, cobbled together of all the best bits of real life boyfriends, and helps take the sting out of being seemingly forever alone. For others, there are less pathetic reasons: undisclosed changes in sexual preferences to nagging family members, nagging family members in general, creeps who won’t get the hint without a fabricated screenshot from a suave romeo. Whatever your reason is for inventing a fake lover, Invisible Boyfriend (And Girlfriend) is here to make that soul-crushing process a little easier. Keep reading »
Going into wedding planning, I already know what a lot of my proclivities are as a bride — partially because I’m a neurotic planner, and partially because, well, I’ve done this before. You live, you learn.
One of my proclivities: I hate The Knot. I hate it with a passion. They try to swindle you into buying into the wedding industrial complex. They want you to choose “colors” and “a theme” and hire the vendors who pay to be advertised on The Knot with money that they make by upcharging the shit out of their services. They propagate giant “fairy tale” weddings with all the bells and whistles. Why? All of their advertisers sell those bells and whistles, duh Keep reading »
Michelle Markowitz apparently had the same experience on Tinder that I had on OKCupid: Eventually, you begin to realize that not only are most of the potential matches exactly the same types of guys with the same types of baggage, they’re usually also incompatible (which is OK!), but often in a way that is borderline-if-not-definitely offensive (which is not so great). Keep reading »
Save the date! According to a new app from TIME, my ideal marriage date is in 11 months and 29 days, which means that unless I want to be a sad, single, lonely forever alone (I might, actually), I’d better find someone to marry on or around February 10, 2015. TIME arrived at this number by analyzing the median age of my married friends on Facebook to ”theoretically identify whether you have passed the point where many of your contemporaries start tying the knot.” Keep reading »