You probably want to sit down for what I’m about to tell you because it’s going to blow the lid off everything you thought you knew about relationships. A new study done at the University of Toronto’s Department of Psychology discovered that fear of being single leads both men and women to settle for relationships that don’t fulfill them. Obviously, I am being sarcastic about this being mind-blowing news. Raise your hand if you’ve continued dating someone you weren’t amped about because you watched The Mamas And The Papas “Behind The Music” and couldn’t bear the thought of choking on a sandwich and having no one there to do the Heimlich Maneuver. Raise your hand if you’ve been exclusive with the fist person you met online because you were new to a city and you were afraid they were the only person you’d meet. Raise your hand if you’ve continued to date someone, knowing they were awful, just because you needed a plus one to your best friend’s wedding? OK. All of us? Good. Then this study is for you! Keep reading »
Most of the “scientific studies” in the Daily Mail make me chuckle (new survey from a contact lens manufacturer says that 90% of people feel self-conscious about wearing glasses!) but this one — about low self-esteem, existential angst and stuffed animals — is worth serious consideration. Keep reading »
The more Robert Pattinson speaks, the more I am convinced that he is The Boyfriend for me. This confounds my better judgement, because there are few things in the zeitgeist of the past ~5 years that I’ve enjoyed less than “Twilight,” but Robert Pattinson, the real Robert Pattinson, is a strange and wonderful being. He hates people and loves dogs! He would improve upon the “Twilight” sex scenes by adding a walrus! He also hates “Twilight”, maybe even more than we do!
In a new interview with Australia’s Sunday Style, the 27-year-old actor got really real, opening up about his anxiety and the insecurities that have defended him against the egotistical pitfalls of fame. “Up until [the moment I get out of the car to the event] I’m a nut case,” he told the publication. “Body dysmorphia, overall tremendous anxiety. I suppose it’s because of these tremendous insecurities that I never found a way to become egotistical. I don’t have a six-pack and I hate going to the gym. I’ve been like that my whole life. I never want to take my shirt off. I’d prefer to get drunk.” You and me both, Rob. He also confessed to being “quite sensitive” in relationships and thinking of himself as the best “gift giver.”
In all seriousness, though, what does it say about me that my ideal man is anxiety-ridden, insecure, very sensitive, and likes to drink? Probably nothing good. [Huffington Post]
Photographer John William Keedy was interested in trying to visualize the dark edges of anxiety. In his series, It’s Hardly Noticeable, Keedy generates powerful visual metaphors that encapsulate just how oppressive and maddening anxiety can feel. The title alone refers to what people with anxiety can fixate on, feel or worry about, that may elude people who don’t share their disorder. Keedy should know: He’s been dealing with anxiety issues for the better part of a decade. His images draw upon the desire for perfection, the need for order and the underlying obsessive need to control and manage one’s surroundings.
Keedy hopes that viewers will identify with his imagery, and feel comforted that they’re not alone. “Is it possible for a society to have a commonly held idea of what is normal, when few individuals in that society actually meet the criteria for normalcy?” Keedy wonders. “These images question the legitimacy of applying the term normal in a societal context by prompting a reconsideration of what, if anything, is normal, or at least what is perceived and labeled as such.” More images after the jump. [John William Keedy] Keep reading »
Do you have anxiety? You’re in good company. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, there’s around 40 million people dealing with anxiety disorders in the U.S. alone. That’s a lot of friggin’ people — and I happen to be one of them.
Anxiety is something I live with and manage every day of my life. Most of the time, because I’ve figured out how to manage it in a way that makes sense for me, living on the anxiety spectrum makes me a sensitive, thoughtful and occasionally high-strung person. Sometimes it can really suck, but it’s my reality, so c’est la vie or something. I first developed anxiety when I was graduating from college, which I imagine is fairly typical. You’re birthing yourself into the Real And Terrifying World and there’s so much to think about. My anxiety manifested as insomnia, but, like, a particular kind of insomnia. Every time I would be on the verge of falling asleep, I’d have anxiety about falling asleep, which would wake me up. Awful. That went on for three months before I finally said fuck it and went to student health, where I was diagnosed as having an anxiety disorder. Whoops! Keep reading »
Greetings from zombie-land.
That’s where I’m currently residing as I go through antidepressant withdrawal. It’s a horribly dizzying place, filled with bouts of insomnia, nausea and an episode of neverending flu. It’s not a place I recommend visiting, and yet, I’ve found myself here because I decided to get off of Paxil, the anti-anxiety drug I’ve been on–off and on–for the last 10 years. And let me tell you, withdrawal is a bitch. Keep reading »
According to prominent horror critics, the things that scare us as a culture usually have a lot to do with whatever we repress and suppress. Horror is about the thin boundary between the outside and the inside being broken — both literally, as in the piercing of skin, and metaphorically, as in the destruction of innocence or psychological disillusionment.
Horror is also a very individual thing, and what scares some of us has no impact on others. For me, it’s tight, small, cramped spaces — there’s probably some psychoanalytic Freudian reason for that, but I’m afraid to look too deep. But for others, it’s aliens, or disease outbreak, or serial killers, or kittens (I don’t judge). What scares us does in some ways define us.
After the jump, seven anxiety-producing movies that terrify and scare the bejesus out of The Frisky staff. And share the movie that makes your heartbeat race in the comments!
I am not a beach person. The way seagulls swoop over your head like rats with wings terrifies me. I hate that feeling of sand caked in every crevice.
But when my friend Thomas invited my husband and I to a nude federal beach in New Jersey, rumored to be filled with spectacularly hung men and tanned, pierced women, I decided it was something worth trying.
“I think we should go,” I told my husband.
Maybe it was because I needed a change. Spring had been of those staying-in-bed-smoking-cigarettes instead of going out seasons. I found myself fighting a constant drowsiness and listening to Jewel. Some days it took an effort to look both ways before crossing the street. Keep reading »
I used to be the sort of person who was always looking for the next big thing. In high school, I wanted to be in college. In college, I wanted to have a job. Every job I had, I wanted to be more successful.
I didn’t learn about stillness, about just being, until I had to. And I don’t think it’s coincidental that the more I just be and the more gratitude I have for my life, the happier I am.
My bouts of depression have always had a chicken-and-the-egg quality to them. Was I on a downward spiral of depression throughout my mid-20s? Or was it from my stressful and demanding job and how hard I was on myself about not being the most amazing person ever? Did I feel depressed because I studied abroad in Eastern Europe away from my family and my friends? Or was I depressed already and that trip just exacerbated it?
I don’t think there are necessarily answers other than “both.” Just the way my mom is inclined to bruise easily if she knocks her leg on a coffee table, I’m inclined to get depressed easily. I wouldn’t have chosen to be this way if I had the choice. But since this is what the lottery stuck me with, I’ve learned how to cope with it. Keep reading »
Self help books get a bad rap sometimes, I think. They’re seen as the province of walking, talking “Cathy” cartoons and hippie-dippie-fruit-loop types. That couldn’t be less true: there are many different types of self-help books for all kinds of problems. Some books are more spiritual while others are more practical, as in teaching you techniques of coping with depression and anxiety. Not only is a good self-help book cheaper than paying for therapy — even if it’s just a co-pay!— but you can circle sections, fold over pages, and come back to them whenever you read.
I scoured my own bookshelf and that of The Frisky staff to find the best self-help books we’ve ever read — ones that actually work!
This piece is part of The Frisky’s How To Deal Week, in which we’re tackling mental health issues.