Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Tag Archives: animals
If you thought Octomom‘s breeding capabilities were disgusting, get a load of this bitch. (Dog joke.) A German dog gave birth “naturally” to 17 puppies — count ‘em, 17 puppies! Etana, a Rhodesian Ridgeback from EbereschenhofI, had nine boy dogs and eight girl dogs. When they all want to nurse at once she probably just lies there and hates the jerk who knocked her up. I say we volunteer to get this brave mama a new pair of boobs and some vaginoplasty surgery, stat. [BBC] Keep reading »
Dear Amelia: I am quitting to move to China and reintroduce fuzzy panda cubs back into the wild — effective immediately. The Hetaoping Research and Conservation Center for the Giant Panda in Wolong National Nature Reserve breeds pandas and then tries to successfully integrate them into the forest and bring them back from extinction. Uh, in panda suits. Insert “furries” joke here.
After the jump, more panda madness … Keep reading »
“We understand you refuse to release this frustrated whale because he is your chief sperm bank, and we know from SeaWorld’s own director of safety … that the way you get his sperm is by having someone get into the pool and masturbate him with a cow’s vagina filled with hot water. Even in my wildest days with Motley Crue, I never could’ve imagined something so sick and twisted.”
—Tommy Lee sounds off in a letter to Sea World about an issue that keeps him up at night—the fact that they haven’t released killer whale Tilikum into the wild and use him for his sperm. Tilikum pulled 40-year-old trainer Dawn Brancheau underwater last year and drowned her, and has been linked to two other trainer deaths as well. [Newser] Keep reading »
A lot of us love our dogs — ahem, Amelia — but not enough to marry them. Not the case for Aussie dude Joseph Guiso. Yesterday he married his best friend, Honey, a 5-year-old Labrador. He proposed to Honey when the pair were on a walk in the park and saw another couple getting married. He just couldn’t stand the idea of living with her out of wedlock anymore, so he popped the question. Honey said nothing, so he took that as a yes. Thirty of the couple’s closest friends and family gathered for the nuptials. “It’s not sexual. It’s just pure love,” Joseph told the guests. And then he kissed the bride. Honey had no comment. [The Chronicle] Keep reading »