Tag Archives: animal sex

Watch This Tortoise’s Futile Attempts At Fornicating With A Croc

dang
Get It, Toby

Today in extremely old video gems from the depths of YouTube, I bring you the sad story of Toby the Tortoise who spends a solid minute or so puttin’ in work with a discarded Croc on someone’s lawn. The tiny squeaks! His insistent, determined thrusts! The Croc’s complacency! This is what it’s like when you end up on the receiving end of some assbag you met on Tinder, and really, really just want to go to sleep, but might as well go with it, because hey, he’s cute, and it’s been a minute. I feel for that utility clog. Enjoy!

This Woman Jerked Off A Dolphin — And Liked It!

Animal researcher Margaret Howe Lovatt is the focus of an upcoming BBC Four documentary called “The Girl Who Talked To Dolphins,” but the subtitle of this film could easily be “…And Then They Did Some Other Stuff.” See, back in the 1960s, LovattĀ studied dolphins near the U.S. Virgin Islands, and one day she met a cute fella named Peter. Yes, Peter. As she puts it in the doc:

In the beginning when he would get rambunctious and had this need, I would put him on the elevator and say, “You go play with the girls for a day”…I was just easier to incorporate [dolphin handjobs] and let it happen. It was very precious. It was very gentle…Again it was sexual on his part, it was not sexual on mine. Sensuous perhaps. It would just become part of what was going on, like an itch. Just get rid of that. Scratch it and we’ll be done. Move on. And that’s really all it was. I was there to get to know Peter. That was part of Peter.

Well. Okay then. “The Girl Who Talked To Dolphins” debuts on BBC Four in the UK on June 17. Sounds like a sensuous good time. [NY Daily News]

This Is A Video Of A Dolphin Masturbating With A Dead Fish

No, Dolphin, No!

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS. I have no idea why this video, which is almost a year old, has just begun making the mass rounds on the internet, but it is NOT TO BE MISSED. It’s 44 seconds of a DOLPHIN IN AN AQUARIUM MASTURBATING WITH A BEHEADED FISH, why would you ever not want to watch that? I can’t look away!!!! (Included: one palate cleanser, after the jump.) [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

10 Strange & Disturbing Animal Mating Rituals

Yes, dating and relationships can be hard, but just be glad you’re not a porcupine. Or a dolphin. Or any of the other animals we’ve found with strange and somewhat disturbing mating rituals. At least your boyfriend doesn’t DIE when he has sex with you, like the honey bee, or try to insert his penis into your abdomen, like the bed bug. Click through to read all about it. Keep reading »

10 Animals With Bisexual Tendencies

Bi Guys
There are a lot of myths about bisexual men. Read More »

When it comes to sex, non-human animals are way more experimental than us. The desire to sexually engage with both men and women is hardly something we can take credit for. There is documented evidence bisexual behavior in many, many of our animal friends. In honor of Celebrate Bisexuality Day, click through to see a few of the most well-known bisexuals in the Animal Kingdom.

Which Celebrity Is Into Animal Sex?

“I decided to focus on animals’ mating rituals. I’ve always been interested in biology and animals.”

To find out which beautiful model-turned-actress is into sexy beasts, click here Keep reading »

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