That “private” Farrah Abraham and James Deen sex tape is here to ruin lunch for us all! From a blowjob, to P-in-V sex, to the “back door” anal sex as promised, we see James and Farrah in all kinds of clearly-planned-in-advance-for-Vivid fun. Farrah’s her usual nasally, kinda ditzy self but you’ll never look at “Teen Mom” the same way again. For some reason, this sex tape is especially uncomfortable. (Though I beg to disagree with her allegation that Deen is rocking a small penis. There’s a reason this guy is a professional porn star.) You can watch an edited clip above and the full 5-minute clip here. It’s very NSFW. Like, don’t get it twisted, it is straight up hardcore pornography.
Now excuse me while I go try and burn the image of Farrah Abraham’s anus from my mind. I need to “Enternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind” that shit.
Here’s a shocking surprise: The Frisky staff are a bunch of total pervs. And even though I don’t write a ton about sex, I basically have the mentality of a 12-year-old boy, where I think butts, boobs and penises are super funny all the time. This morning, in a haze of cold medicine, I started thinking about my long-held theory that tons of supposedly clean pop songs are actually just thinly veiled missives on boning. Like come on, just what are Hall & Oates referring to when they sing “I can’t go for that, no no, no can do”? It’s definitely about anal.
After the jump, we ruin some of your favorite songs.
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Graham Gremore, generous gay man that he is, took the time to answer the five most common questions straight girls have about gay sex. His tutorial includes annalingus, enemas, tops and bottoms versatiles, sluttiness and poop. Yup, I think I’ve asked my gay friends all of these questions in the past. But I certainly learned something from Graham’s video: that gay sex really isn’t all that different from straight sex. Wait, I think I knew that. Butt seriously. I learned that gay men don’t talk about top/bottom preferences. The top usually goes for the condom and the bottom goes for the lube. Interesting. [Gay]
We all know from Cupid and Hallmark and Victoria’s Secret that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the sexiest, sultriest, panty-droppingest day in existence.
We also know that’s not actually going to happen.
But you can try, can’t you? Your partner probably isn’t going to turn into Christian/Christina Grey for the night. But that doesn’t mean you can’t introduce a sex toy or three to spice things up. Here’s nine toys we think you might enjoy for a little something-something extra this Valentine’s Day. Let us know how it goes … if you’re willing to kiss and tell.
I almost feel bad for ex-gay porn star Joseph Sciambra. After all, it’s pretty clear he’s mega-traumatized — both physically and emotionally — by his time in the sex industry. Sciambra claims his life in porno led to him having major anal problems, which resulted in getting his “sphincter almost stitched shut.” Ouch.
But! (Okay, butt!)
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In a recent Vice article, straight man, Dave Schilling, called anal sex “the first stop on the Save My Relationship World Tour.” And he’s not just talking about giving, he’s talking about receiving as well:
“On more than one occasion, a woman has asked me if I wanted to do ‘butt stuff’ when it became clear that coitus wasn’t cutting it anymore. Assplay is a logical next step in a male/female sexual relationship. It’s taboo; it’s still kind of like standard heterosexual fucking since it’s also about putting something inside a hole and most importantly, the difficulty level is high … Sometimes, when all hope seems to be lost and the world is shrouded in darkness, my female sexual partner will ask to give rather than receive.” Keep reading »
Vice’s Mary-Ann Banal (that must be a pen name) presents her case as to why women should never shove “sticks of meat up their poomakers.” I’m all for talking openly about the pros and cons of anal sex. The only problem is, I can’t tell whether Mary-Ann has actually taken it up the butt or not. She references the Internet, friends’ experiences, etc. — but never her own. After reading the article carefully, I suspect she has not had a meat stick in her poomaker as some of the things she says are straight up false, even ignorant. As a woman who has taken it in the backdoor with two different partners, I feel the need to honestly and truthfully address each of her anti-anal arguments. My ass sex assessments after the jump. (Naturally, this topic may be NSFW, so proceed with caution.) Keep reading »
Guys, we know how excited you would be if we were as enthusiastic about entering through the back door as you are . Sometimes you mention it, and we smile and shrug. “Yeah, maybe some other night,” we reply noncommittally, handing you back the lube. It’s not that we’re prudes who don’t care about your pleasure, it’s just that sometimes our buttholes need to be wooed. This anal sex thing is scary for us, as it’s frightening for most of you strictly heaters. Even for those of us who have taken it up the butt before, it’s still frightening. Especially if your d**k is way bigger than the guy we tried it with. Once. And that was seven years ago. Our brown eye has gone back to sleep since then. Truth is: We actually want to try it with you. But only if you take our fears seriously. Unless you assuage our anxiety and make us feel totally comfortable about anal sex, it’s never gonna happen. Bring our butts flowers. After the jump our real (and imagined fears) about taking it up the poop chute. Keep reading »
Conservative Pennsylvanian politician Rick Santorum announced that he’d be running for president earlier this year, but he’s facing an uphill battle–in part because he’s got a little Google name association problem. You see, Mr. Santorum raised the ire of sex columnist Dan Savage the last time he ran for president because of Santorum’s stringent anti-gay positions, so Savage advocated that “Santorum” should become the new name for “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” So yes, now when you Google “Santorum” you get results for Rick Santorum, conservative presidential candidate and, well, that other stuff.
And now Santorum wants Google to do something about it. Keep reading »