“Apparently, there’s a lot of debate going on right now whether I’m qualified or not to be the new judge on ‘American Idol’ ... I’ll tell you right now, how I know I’m going to be a great judge ... I’ve spent my whole life being judged. So I know what it’s like. So I will be kind. I will be compassionate. I will be empathetic, and I will be truthful. I will be an honest judge without being mean. But the things that people are saying…I thought America had moved past this. First, we have the first African American President.  We’ve sworn in our first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice. I think ‘American Idol’ is ready for their first blonde judge ... I do.”

— Openly gay Ellen DeGeneres discussing her newest job on her talk show yesterday [via US Weekly]

Last night, VH1 held their annual “Divas” concert, featuring Kelly Clarkson, Miley Cyrus, and Jordin Sparks, even though attaching the label “diva” to these gals is questionable. During the show, which coincidentally took place at the Brooklyn Academy of Music right down the road from my apartment, host Paula Abdul made a funny. She dressed up as Ellen DeGeneres, who’s replacing her as a judge on “American Idol” this season, and imitated her dopest dance moves, grooving her way over to a replica of Ellen’s set. “Why y’all staring at me? Can’t a girl try out a new job?” she said. “All kidding aside—nothing but love Ellen. And I wish you the best of luck on the new gig. And you gotta call me if you have any Simon problems because, well, I know him best.”

I hope everyone is as psyched as I am about Ellen DeGeneres being crowned the new “American Idol” judge. Finally, someone funny on the panel who’ll do way more than pour effusive love over contestants or mercilessly mock them! Sure, I’ll miss Paula’s psychotic behavior, but instead of laughing at Paula, I’ll be laughing with Ellen. I think it’s safe to say that she’ll steal all of Simon, Kara, and Randy’s thunder.

We know Ellen likes to dance, but what does she know about music? A lot, apparently. Here are Ellen’s 10 best musical moments, which prove that she is extremely “Idol”-ready. Like in this clip, where she learns about harmony while Christmas caroling with Britney Spears.

Fox has jut announced that they’ve found a replacement for Paula Abdul on “American Idol.” The new judge who will be sitting alongside Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Kara DioGuardi? Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen released this statement:

“I’m thrilled to be the new judge on American Idol. I’ve watched since the beginning, and I’ve always been a huge fan. So getting this job is a dream come true, and think of all the money I’ll save from not having to text in my vote. Hopefully I’m the people’s point of view because I’m just like you. I sit at home and I watch it. … I’m not looking at it in a critical way from the producer’s mind. I’m looking at it as a person who is going to buy the music and is going to relate to that person. I’m going to have a day job and a night job. The times we’re living in ... we’re all doing that.”

So, Fox managed to find someone with greater STAR QUALITY than Abdul, but Ellen also has less—and it hurts to say this—of a musical background. So what do we think of this news? Will it make the show as entertaining? [DListed]

You may have heard that rabid fans of “American Idol” runner-up Adam Lambert have taken to throwing sex toys at the singer when he’s on stage. It started out as the usual bras and panties. Then, things got kinky. Handcuffs. Whips. Dildos. You name it; they pummel him with it. At first, Lambert said, it was “exciting,” but when he almost got hit in the head with a bra, he wasn’t so sure. Judging by what he does when a phallus lands on stage in this video, I’m guessing he’s really over it.

“American Idol” and Paula Abdul are stringing us along in a wicked game of will-they-or-won’t-they, and our hearts can take it no longer. Just when we were trying to move on after the Paula-“Idol” breakup and were getting kind of excited over the fact that Posh Spice, Katy Perry, Mary J. Blige, Shania Twain, and Joe Jonas would be stepping in to guest judge the “Idol” auditions, Paula’s dropped a bomb. She and “Idol” aren’t completely finished, and she may run back to the show after all. Paula, don’t mess with our hearts like that!

“American Idol” judge Simon Cowell is getting a huge raise. A year ago, he made a measly $36 million per season. Now, according to People, he’ll be taking home $45 mill a year. We find this particularly interesting because, as the New York Times reported today, one of the reasons Paula Abdul left “Idol”—besides resenting the fact that the network brought on Kara DioGuardi to be a second female judge and that her co-workers didn’t stand up for her during the drug-abuse allegations—was that they wouldn’t give her a raise from $3.5 million a year to $10 million a year. While Paula looks at other options, this got us thinking: How much do our favorite female television personalities make? And how do they stack up to Sir Simon’s mega paycheck?

• Over many seasons of “American Idol,” contestants and viewers alike became familiar with the sometimes incoherent ramblings of Paula Abdul. Now that she’s decided to leave the show, producers have come up with a creative solution on how to replace her. Contestants auditioning for the next season of “American Idol” will not only have to get over stage fright, but they’ll need to stop themselves from being starstruck. For the auditions, Paula will be replaced by a rotating cadre of actual celebrities, a new star in each of the seven cities. Yesterday, we found out Victoria Beckham would be one of the guest judges. Now Katy Perry is in. Producers are scrambling to find five more. [E! Online]

Poor, poor Paula Abdul. Her time with “American Idol” has been over for barely 24 hours and the media could not wait to move on. The big announcement that Posh Spice will be making a guest-judge appearance is completely overshadowing the sadness of the Abdul-“Idol” split. I can’t help but give into the media frenzy and be super excited about Posh’s appearance, since it’s going to be totally awesome. Alas, it’s only temporary—for a single show. So I wonder, Who are they going to replace Paula with permanently? I guess there’s the chance that the judging panel will shrink down to three with Kara DioGuardi being the only lady in the pack. But I want someone new! Here’s who I think would make snug fits on the “American Idol” season nine judging panel.

Paula Abdul announced she would not be returning to “American Idol” via her Twitter last night. But… but… who is going to supply the contestants with tacky HSN jewelry and pearls of non-wisdom? [via DListed]

Remember when we told you Kate Moss was officially in cahoots with Simon Cowell and Philip Green to start a fashion and entertainment mega-company? Well, they aren’t wasting any time getting started on that whole world-domination thing. According to the UK’s The Mirror, Miss Moss and Cowell will sit on a panel of experts in the search to discover the next super-group like Coldplay or Oasis. Sort of like Diddy’s “Making The Band” crossed with “Britain’s Got Talent.” I wonder who Kate will be? Simon’s got the hard-ass personality covered. I can’t picture her playing the Randy role—she’s not big or totally lovable. We’ll find out soon enough: the show is expected to be launched in the US, and the Brits will get a spinoff following. Huh. Kate on TV? I’m not sure I can picture it, especially because not that long ago, she was caught with a mound of coke on film, not to mention the fact that we’ve heard her speak very little over the years. Kind of exciting though, no? [The Mirror]

• An arrest has been made regarding the death of “American Idol” contestant Alexis Cohen. Daniel Bark, 23, has been charged with death by reckless driving. [TMZ]
• Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle have split up. And then he cried about it during a performance. [Starpulse] – I can’t say I’m too upset – the fact that they look like identical twins kind of creeps me out.

Sad news. Alexis Cohen, 25, who got attention for her two auditions for “American Idol,” was hit by a car and killed in Seaside Heights, NJ. Cohen is memorable for both the copious amount of glitter she wore to her auditions, but also her, um, unique singing voice, which made her rank high among the worst, but most entertaining, “AI” auditions. I thought she was kooky and fun and had a lot of chutzpah for flipping off Simon Cowell. The police are calling her death a homicide and are looking for the hit-and-run driver. RIP Alexis. [Dlisted]

Auditions for the next season of “American Idol” are fast approaching, but wannabe singers may not be the only ones who are asked to leave the stage. Judge Paula Abdul‘s contract is up and she hasn’t been offered a new one yet. The producers are keeping quiet about what they plan do to with Paula, which is pissing off her reps. Paula’s manager said, “It does not appear that she’s going to be back on ‘Idol.’” Rumors that Paula may be leaving have sparked a “Keep Paula” movement on Twitter. It’s the second highest topic on the Twitterverse, right after “Indonesia Unite” and right before ... “SpongeBob?” If Paula is giving up her judge’s chair, whatever will she do with her life? Here are our suggestions. [LA Times]

The secret’s out: cougars want to claw “American Idol” runner-up Adam Lambert, says blogger and self-proclaimed Lambert-lover Joan Raymond at Newsweek.com. According to her, confident women over the age of 40 are obsessed with the 27-year-old newly-outed singer. Overall, her reasons make sense, but the thing is, nothing she says explains why older women would react differently than, say, any teenybopper or “Idol” obsessed fan.

Adam Lambert is making losing “American Idol” look so, so good. Not only did he just ink a deal with RCA Records, which plans to unleash his first album early next fall. But he also scored a spot on this week’s cover of Rolling Stone looking super glamtastic. He has a neon green snake on his leg that is inches away from his crotch, eying it like a sex-crazed maniac. (Oh man, that snake is getting more action than I am.) In his interview, Adam says that (shocker) he is gay. He waited until this interview to come out because he though it would be cooler to unleash the secret to Rolling Stone rather than to some local newspaper. Adam said a “psychedelic experience” while experimenting with “certain fungeses” that made him realize “Idol” was his chance for fame. After the jump, the choicest quotes from the interview.  [Rolling Stone]

“American Idol” judge Kara DioGuardi appeared on “The View” today, and she was asked about runner-up Adam Lambert’s sexuality. Now, throughout the whole season of “American Idol,” people debated whether or not Adam was gay—his trademark look is gobs of glittery eye makeup, after all. However, the contestant never discussed his sexual preferences publicly. On “The View,” Kara said, “I don’t think Adam was ever in [the closet]. I think he was always openly out.”