Tag Archives: aliens

UK Politician, Simon Parkes, Comes Out As An Alien

Elf Sex?
This woman says it's real. Read More »
Alien Sex Explained
Simon Parkes has an alien mistress and 10 alien kids!

In middle school, I had a teacher who was obsessed with aliens and used all of our class time to convince us that they existed. I was 12 and had to start sleeping on the floor of my parents’ bedroom because I was convinced I would be abducted. My parents made me drop the class so I could sleep in my bedroom again. And this man later went on to run for city council and win.

I thought my teacher/ city councilman was weird. Now I know he wasn’t so crazy. Meet Simon Parkes, a Labour Councillor in the UK (he represents constituents on a city level) who knows all there is to know about aliens because he is one. He also works as a driving instructor in his spare time. Aliens really are everywhere.

In this hour-long interview (a shout out to the interviewer who manages to stay extremely neutral), Parkes also goes into Hubbard-esque detail about soul agreements with aliens, what happens during an “abduction,” the different alien races, (little greys, reptiles, humanoids, etc.). Some of the the 53-year-old’s more interesting claims include that he’s fathered ten children, all twins, three of which are named Zarka, Zarouf, and Ree-Karl, with an alien woman he calls The Lion Queen. And this wasn’t just a one-night stand. Parkes sees the Lion Queen about four times a year for sex and this is causing issues with his human wife and three human children, obvs. Keep reading »

12 Celebrity Alien Encounters

Alleged UFO sightings happen all the time. Only, they get more attention when they happen to celebrities. This week, Russell Crowe posted video stills of an unidentified object hovering over Sydney’s Royal Botanic Gardens on YouTube.

“A friend and i set camera to capture fruit bats rising from Botanic Gardens, this was a big surprise… Canon 5D, No Flash, can’t be a lens flare because it moves, camera is fixed,” Crowe tweeted. Keep reading »

Abducted By Aliens?
John Edwards
Rielle Hunter wanted to claim she'd been abducted by aliens. Read More »

Jaden Smith Had Very Necessary Conversation With The President About Aliens

Will and Jada on Split
Are the rumors true? Read More »
Fresh Prince Drama
Will Smith and Aunt Viv photo
Aunt Viv from "Fresh Prince" has no love for Will Smith. Read More »
Jaden Smith and aliens

“I was at the White House with my family and we were getting a tour. Barack and Michelle and Sasha and Malia and me and Jada and the kids, we’re walking through the White House. The night before, Jaden had said to me, ‘Dad, I gotta ask the president about the aliens.’ And I said, ‘Dude, no. No, it’s not cool. It’s not cool, it’s embarrassing.’ I was, like, ‘Jaden, DO NOT ask the president.’”

Will Smith is completely endearing on BBC Radio 1 describing a visit to the White House with his family. Which I guess is a perk of being a movie star?

But do adolescent boys mind their fathers when it comes to the important matter of the existence of extraterrestrial life? No, they do not. Find out what happened, after the jump.  Keep reading »

15 Celebrities Who Saw UFOs

Are these celebrities crazy or did they really see UFOs? (Okay, yes, they’re probably all crazy anyway, but that doesn’t answer the second question: could they be weirdos who happen to be spot-on about alien spacecraft?) Read more…

Women’s UFO Symposium Takes On ET Hunters’ “Old Boys Club”

November 28, 2011

The Aliens Are Coming!

I’ve been obsessing about where and when I would have my first close encounter of the third kind since middle school. My teacher, Mr. Vice, was a little bit of an alien conspiracy theorist. His bulletin boards were covered with clippings from the National Enquirer, which at the time, mostly did articles about Oprah being fat and alien/Bigfoot/Loch Ness Monster sightings. He spent our four hours a week together showing us an array of videos — “Aliens and the Mayans,” “The Truth About Roswell,” Aliens in Ancient Egypt,” “Crop Circles: An Extraterrestrial Playground.” When I started sleeping on my parent’s floor in the middle of seventh grade (I convinced myself that our back yard doubled as a UFO landing strip, I mean we did live in Arizona) they pulled me out of the gifted program. I tried to push images of flying saucer abductions out of my mind as I drifted off to sleep. My parents told me it would never happen, that Mr. Vice was a lunatic. Maybe Mr. Vice wasn’t crazy, maybe he was a man before his time, or even an alien himself sent to prepare us for his race’s arrival. Keep reading »

Katy Perry Makes One Hot Alien

Whoa. Katy Perry‘s look in the video for “ET” is even more convincingly alien than we’d originally thought. We won’t get to see the full vid until the 31st, but Katy posted this image—plus the two after the jump—on Facebook to give us a taste of her turquoise contacts, pink veiny forehead, and space-age fingernails. I’m kind of loving it. What do you think? Keep reading »

Duke Nukem Game Lets Gamers Slap Women Silly

Rape On "True Blood"
Jason True Blood photo
How "True Blood" handles the topic of rape. Read More »

Real men may have been pussified by man-hating, hairy-legged feminazis, so it’s a good thing they have XBox 360 games as an outlet for lady-slapping, alien-killing machismo. The much-anticipated Duke Nukem Forever game from Gearbox Software is where enlightened gender relations go to die. The “Be The One Man Army Who Always Gets The Babes” theme encourages dudes to save us poor, helpless females from getting impregnated (i.e. raped) by alien invaders. While saving the little woman from the bad guy is a well-trod theme of video games (and “dick flicks”), Duke Nukem Forever‘s got a lovely domestic violence-y element. According to The Official Xbox Magazine, if the lady “freaks out” while she’s being saved from impending alien rape, Duke can smack her across the face until she “calms down.” You know, slap some sense into the silly bitch! Keep reading »

The First Legit Extraterrestrial

Well, here it is folks. The first confirmed alien. It’s a strand of fossilized bacteria found in a meteor. Not what I expected ET to look like, but hey. NASA scientists now believe that there is other life out in the big, bad universe. [Buzzfeed]

UPDATE: Sigh. As excited as I was about aliens, it turns out that this little strand of bacteria is a bunch of BS. Keep reading »

The Frisky’s Top 5 Female Action Heroes In Film

Nothing causes more boners than an action movie — especially when it stars a femme fatale who knows how to handle a gun. Everyone loves a sharp shootin’, straight talkin’ lady whose looks alone could kill, but it’s even better when she’s actually a trained lethal weapon. In honor of the women who inspire us to fight for our rights (and wear something skin tight), here are The Frisky’s Top 5 Female Action Heroes.

5. Jane Fonda as Barbarella She’s bold, she’s blonde, and she won’t take no for an answer. The stylish mod manhandler battles her way through the universe with a dozen outfits and one ray gun. Keep reading »

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