In high school, I fell for a guy named Opie. That was not his given name but a nickname he had acquired along the way. I would have asked from where it had come, but I never found the necessary strength to even talk to him, let alone inquire about the particulars of his life. I was a 16-year-old magenta-haired dork who hung around the art studios both before and after school. I was in no position to start conversations with Kurt Cobain look-a-likes who rocked the same greasy locks and dresses that only the ’90s permitted without too many batted eyelashes.
Opie embodied that “fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me” mentality that I craved in a partner. I longed for a tortured soul, someone who was messed up enough that only drugs and alcohol seemed like the cure for the ailments in their world. In my naïve brain, I was the one who could save them, me and only me. From what I heard, after he left school, Opie got a girl pregnant and had his fair share of struggles with substance abuse. As for where he is now, I have no idea. Like I said, it was the ’90s, heroin chic was in the air and in the pages of Vogue, drug use was glamorized, and in all my sheltered cluelessness about the world, a death that resulted from substance abuse was a badge of a life lived to the extreme. I roll my eyes now at how both ridiculous and insulting that thought is to those who know the very dark side of drug and alcohol addiction, both personally and as an outsider looking in at a loved one. Keep reading »
Stupid people getting drunk is about to get stupider: powdered alcohol is on the way. A company called Palcohol was inspired to create powdered booze that can then be added to other liquids in order to make drinks. Powdered rum and powdered vodka are standalone versions or you could try powdered Cosmopolitan, powdered Mojito, powdered Lemondrop or the “Powderita,” a powdered Margarita. That totally sounds like some NASA shit right there. The inventor of Palcohol said he came up with the idea because he didn’t want to have to carry heavy bottles of booze around. But so far, Palcohol is staying mum on how they do it: “If we told you, we’d have to shoot you. We are in the process of patenting it and it is currently patent pending.” And despite earlier jokes that brought negative media attention, they also do not recommend snorting the powdered booze. Something tells me that will not stop some people from doing it anyway. But you can add them to sauces or or guacamole for a little extra kick. As tempting as a powdered Mojito sounds, I think I’ll pass on this one. [Palcohol via SB Nation]
Here are a bunch of other stupid ways to get drunk or high that WE TOTALLY DO NOT CONDONE YOU TRYING, you hear?
[Image of a mojito via Shutterstock]
All the nightlife, hold the hangover.
That’s the pitch behind a growing number of alcohol-free bars springing up in the U.K. Skyy News reports that the increasing popularity of the establishments, often funded by anti-alcoholism charities, could signal a change in attitude amongst English youth. Read more on Huffington Post…
After 10 years together, my husband and I are pregnant. Or I’m pregnant. It sounds too cutesy to say we, but it’s not happening to me alone. At the same time, I notice it’s only my alcohol intake that has dropped off dramatically.
Whatever the terminology, we got pregnant easily. Almost on a whim, we embarked on the birth control-free road thinking nature would give us a while to get used to the idea.
It didn’t. Keep reading »
The Dock Street Brewing Company in Philadelphia is churning out a special “Walking Dead”-themed beer. In fact, it’s so authentic to the series that it has real brains in it. Roasted goat brains, in fact. Keep reading »
Starbucks has managed to turn its brand into a grownup’s version of a toy store, selling everything the over-18 yuppie set loves best: caffeine, jazz-infused compilation CDs, an attitude of superiority, and now, as part of its valiant attempt to take over the world, alcohol. Keep reading »
There are subscription boxes for makeup, snacks, organic dog treats, nail polish, and pretty much every specific interest category under the sun, but there’s finally — finally! — a subscription box with much broader appeal: it’s full of booze. It’s called Flaviar, and here’s how it works:
Flaviar is a curated and membership based service which helps you experience the best spirits from all over the world at a fraction of the regular price, helping to promote a better way of enjoying drinks. Every month Flaviar members receive a hand-picked sample gift pack of five premium flavors (Whisky, Rum, Cognac, Gin, Vodka, Grappa, Tequila, etc) selected by our expert panel and industry professionals.
Keep reading »
Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto is pretty much that douchey frat boy who you never invite to a party, but somehow ends up there anyway , and you wish he would just go somewhere far, far away so you never had to think about all the obnoxious things he’s said. Remember him? He called the military’s effort to eradicate sexual assault a “war on male sexuality.” He’s tweeted that he hoped the young women whose boyfriends died saving them during the Aurora, Colorado, shooting were “worthy of the sacrifice.” So it should come as no surprise to you that he is blaming rape victims for drinking. Keep reading »