Tag Archives: alan wieder

And The Best Penis Haikus Are …

We’re so glad that author Alan Weider is finding new ways to celebrate the c**k. After the release of his memoir, The Year of the C**k, a tale about the year his ween obsession reeked havoc on his life, Alan decided to keep the penis love growing by sponsoring a penis haiku (phaiku) contest. If you’re a poetry lover like me, then you probably entered the contest. Well … the esteemed judges have voted on their favorite phaikus. I was disappointed to find out that my entry came in sixth place. Boo! But I must admit the winning entries were c**ktastic. After the jump, the winners’ penile musings. May I suggest a vagina haiku (vaiku) contest next, Alan? Keep reading »

Frisky Q & A: Alan Wieder Talks “Year Of The Cock,” Penis Size, And Vagina Worship

Alan Wieder is not embarrassed to talk about his wang. In fact, he’s written an entire memoir about getting to know his … er … penis better. Year of the Cock: The Remarkable True Account of a Man Who Left His Wife and Paid the Price chronicles the year (ironically, the year of the rooster—hee hee) that Alan decided to follow his little head on a destructive journey. He packed up his things and moved out of his home, ready to pursue his fantasy of becoming a hardcore bachelor. During this premature mid-life crisis, he buys a vintage Porsche, bangs lot o’ chicks, and becomes obsessed with the size of his member. I know what you’re thinking. What a jerk! Why would I want to spend 300 pages reading about penile insecurity? Because Alan’s hilarious and, somehow, his year of cockiness is refreshing. Trust me, you’ll laugh too hard to judge him. Keep reading »

Enter This Penis Haiku Contest!

I have been writing bad poetry for as long as I can remember. Well, at least since I penned the gripping haiku, “The Spark,” in 7th grade. I can’t share it … it’s just too embarrassing. But yes, it does follow the 5-7-5 syllable pattern. Can I still write a hard-hitting haiku? Yes, I believe I can. And now I have the chance I’ve been waiting for. Alan Wieder, author of the new memoir Year of the C**k, which chronicles his penile trials and tribulations, is having a contest to find the best haikus about his favorite topic … the penis. You bet your c**k I am entering my phaiku (penis + haiku) on his website for a chance to win an autographed copy of the book. Check out my masterpiece after the jump. [Asylum] Keep reading »

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