What I didn’t tell you last week was that I was dating someone.
He was a 25-year-old who recently returned from Europe where he lived as an expat for almost a year, met a girl, fell in love, then got his heart broken before he returned. I asked him multiple times if he was ready to date again. Each time I asked, he assured me he was totally ready to move on. We only went out a few times, but those instances were enough to feel a connection. Conversation was easy, the attraction was certainly there and I felt like I could be myself with him.
His only obvious pitfall was that he wore skinny jeans — a style he adopted during his stint in Europe. While I love to admire the male physique, I feel there are some fashions that are better suited for female humans. Besides, I felt like the tight pants distracted from his gorgeous hazel eyes and rugby player good looks.
Crotch-hugging pants aside, I was really excited about Skinny Jeans and the possibility that there might be something there. At least until he called me up and told me he was having money problems and wasn’t sure he could “give me what I deserved.” Then two days later he changed his tune telling me he wasn’t over his ex and couldn’t continue to pursue something with me because he “didn’t realize he wasn’t emotionally over his last relationship.” Typical. I have no idea if he was being honest about his feelings or just politely brushing me off, but I’m not about to date someone who’s clearly not over his ex.
My mom listened sympathetically as I recounted the sordid tale of Skinny Jeans and then gave me the same piece of advice she always does: “You need to date someone older.” Keep reading »
This past week, while on vacation, I had the pleasure of hanging out with my boyfriend’s great aunt. I didn’t ask her age because that would just be rude, but I’m going to guess that she’s in her 80′s. A wisp of a thing, no taller than 5’1″, she has grey bob, ruddy cheeks and just about the best attitude a human being can possibly have without being the Dalai Lama. (My grandparents, who are also a joy to be around, are like this too. My theory is that their sunny dispositions are directly related to surviving The Depression, but I could be wrong.)
After a fall last year, which resulted in months of rehab, my boyfriend’s great aunt gets around with the help of a walker she calls her “Cadillac.” She also has a “Chevrolet,” but she often leaves it at home because “it’s not as fast.” Her great joys in life include taking her Keds off to tan her legs on the beach, collecting large and small bottles which she uses to “help her remember fun times” (she has 146 of them), being read aloud to (she loved the new David Sedaris book — “Those are such great stories!” she exclaimed after each chapter) and eating lobster (which she pronounces lobstah, because she’s from the Northeast). When you say something — anything at all — (“I just got a mosquito bite” or “We’re having lobstah for dinner”) she responds by throwing her hands in the air and shouting “Oh my gawd! Oh boy! Can you believe that?” Keep reading »
In the movie “Singles,” -—and this sticks with Ami because she first saw it at the age of 14, so it made a big impression — Janet Livermore (played by Bridget Fonda) gives a monologue about where she thought she’d be by the age of 23. She laments:
“I’m 23. Remember how old 23 seemed when you were little? I mean, I thought people would be traveling in airlocks and I would have 5 kids. Here I am – 23 – things are, um, basically the same. I think time is running out to do something bizarre. Somewhere around 25 bizarre becomes immature.”
And where was Janet at the tender age of 23? Working in a coffee shop, having an unrequited crush on her musician neighbor without any clue as to what she wanted to do with her life. Exactly what a 23-year-old should be doing, in our opinion. Pretty much exactly what both of us were doing! Ami made note of this monologue, telling herself, Learn from Janet Livermore and don’t expect to be married with kids by the age of 23, expect to start reproducing around the age of 28 because that’s when your mom had you. Also, you’ll be a famous actress by 25, so you’ll have plenty of money to raise your kids either alone or with your husband who can be a stay-at-home-dad. Keep reading »
We’re a culture obsessed with aging — keeping wrinkles and fine lines at bay, staying youthful and energized, looking younger than we maybe actually are. Which is why this video from Dutch filmmaker Jeroen Wolf is so fascinating. Wolf asked 100 people from ages 1 to 100 to share their age for a short video. The result is a fascinating look into how people really age. Plus, everybody’s got cute Dutch accents, so it’s especially fun to watch. [Daily Mail]
Wellllll okay. We don’t have women at every age, but we do have women from 20 to 41 — in an attempt to show the variety of ways that women age. I’ve always been terrible at guessing how old people really are, and I’m betting I’m not the only one. Twenty-five can look totally different on two people, depending on diet, skincare, heredity and sun exposure (hello, Lindsay Lohan), and so can 40. But whatever your age, I think it’s important not to take it too seriously — you’re only as old as you feel, after all.
His name was Patrick, but everyone referred to him as “the 17-year-old.” That was how his number was saved in my phone. I met the 17-year-old while visiting my 17-year-old cousin in the burbs. I was 22. The cousin brought me to a high school party. Patrick was in the corner, tall and spidery with olive skin.
After a few shared cigarettes, I found myself making out with him on the hood of my car, our bodies causing the metal to cave where we lay.
“Leave the suburbs and come live in the city,” I said, the moon looming above us. Keep reading »
If you are over the age of 18, no matter what your actual numerical age is, something will happen to make you feel old. For me, it’s the fact that when interns fill out their paperwork, I see that they were born in 1992. That’s crazy, see, because I was 12 in 1992 and already had a full collection of colored jeans from the Limited Too. Feeling old isn’t a bad thing—just strange. So Buzzfeed’s collection of “40 Things That Will Make You Feel Old” is kind of blowing my mind. Above, the first entry. Some others to look forward to: the fact that all three of the Hanson brothers are married with kids, that the Macarena is 16-years-old, and that the first state quarter came out 11 years ago. Eek! [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »
Over 35? Boy, do we have some news for you.
A recent survey out of Britain revealed that no one wants to see you in a miniskirt. Period.
More than 2,000 women took the poll, which administered by Diet Chef, some sort of self esteem-boosting prepared-meals site. The findings show that age 47 is the cutoff for wearing a bikini, 61 for swimsuits altogether, and at 51, you can skip both the stilettos and the ponytails. Read more… Keep reading »