Since my dating history only began after college, I never believed I had a specific physical type. I met a guy in high school that remained my boyfriend throughout most of college, which means my dating history didn’t start until I will well into my twenties. After a slew of brief flings and a first date that ended in a flat tire and me on my back, jacking up his Toyota Camry on the side of the highway in the pouring rain, I realized that perhaps I needed one — I just never expected my ‘type’ to include older men. Keep reading »
Consider yourself lucky, Demi Moore; you broke free from Ashton a healthier woman (just don’t smoke any more of those crazy herbs, girl). New research suggests that marrying a younger man may be a cause for increased mortality rates among women. That totally shatters my dreams of bagging a 30-year-old on my 55th birthday. It seems that if we want to have a long and healthy life, us women are better off marrying a guy our age — or at least that’s what researchers believe. Keep reading »
Hugo’s piece was originally published at the Good Men Project Magazine.
Both at the Good Men Project and at my own blog, my most popular posts in terms of page-views are invariably those that focus on one particularly controversial subject: older men and younger women. (Here’s “What Young Women Are Really Looking For From Older Men.”)
As I’ve laid out in those pieces, for a number of reasons I think we should be suspicious of age-disparate heterosexual relationships in which the male partner is substantially older than the female one, and in which the woman is still quite young (say, under 23). Put simply, the potential problems in these relationships seem to diminish based less upon the actual number of years in between the partners and more upon the age of the woman involved. I’m more concerned about an 18 year-old woman and a 30 year-old man than I am about a 30 year-old woman and a 55 year-old man, even though the latter relationship has twice the number of years separating the partners. The research of psychologists like Lynn Phillips—who has written extensively about relationships between teen girls (including those above the age of consent) and older men—bears out how damaging these relationships can be. Keep reading »
In my office, Amber is telling me a familiar story. She’s come to talk about her autobiography paper for my women’s studies class, and she reads part of her rough draft aloud.
“I was 12, and this car pulled up alongside me as I was walking home from school … the driver looked a little older than my dad, at least 40. He leaned out, and I thought he was going to ask me for directions, but instead he asked me how old I was. When I told him, he laughed. ‘Damn, you got some big titties for such a little girl.’ He made this gross smacking sound with his lips, and sped away. I ran all the way home.”
Amber looks up at me. “I want to know,” she asks, “why do older men hit on younger women?” She’s 20 now, tall and graceful; she tells me that for the last eight years, older men have been approaching her. “It’s not just me,” she adds, “it happens to most of my friends, almost regardless of what they look like or what they’re wearing. It makes me feel like I can’t trust anyone, like all men want just one thing. Why can’t they chase women their own age?” Keep reading »