Is there anything funnier (sad-funny, I mean) than bigots who are completely incredulous about the fact that they are bigots? They are so unwilling to admit it. They usually have some other excuse — which only makes sense to them — about “disagreeing with lifestyle choices,” “some of my best friends are ___,” “sexism/racism/homophobia doesn’t really exist” or “love the sinner, hate the sin.” The moral/intellectual contortions are truly something to behold.
A perfect example would Unhappy In Tampa, a woman who wrote to the advice columnist Dear Abby to complain about how their not-asshole neighbors are now socially excluding Unhappy In Tampa and her husband. Oh no! That is horrible! Why would these mean neighbors do such a thing? Because Unhappy In Tampa and her husband refused to invite their gay and lesbian neighbors to their parties:
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors’ social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay — one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots! Keep reading »
Last weekend, I went skiing for the first time in over 10 years. To say I was nervous and excited would be an understatement; in the days leading up to my trip, I couldn’t help but worry about breaking a limb or, I don’t know, being crushed by an avalanche.
Thankfully, the friends who came along with me were much more experienced than I (like, pro level) and promised I’d be in good hands. Their teaching method? Throwing me in the trenches headfirst. They taught me how to stop and start using my skis, and that was about it – off to the chairlift we went. No ski school, no detailed lessons. Had I thought about what was happening I probably would have objected, but I blindly went along until I realized halfway up the lift that this was not the normal path for a beginner. But this was how they had learned, they explained, that putting yourself in the thick of it was the fastest way to get off the ground, and that they’d be nearby there the whole time. (By the way, PSA time, I am not saying you lovely readers should learn this way — it’s pretty risky!) Keep reading »
January seems to be the worst time of year for realizing how screwed up your life is. Everyone is talking about resolutions. You’re recovering from all the money you spent on the holidays. Taxes are coming up. It’s the month your parole gets repeatedly denied. It’s the month that says, “Here’s a shitload of enormous problems. Oh, yeah, and here’s a grocery list of crap you need to change about yourself, because the rest of the year you are an overindulgent, self-destructive child.”
Big change — the type you have to make in order to pull yourself out of a turd landslide — is different. It’s scary and requires a hundred times more work than just regular living. Digging yourself out of a hole isn’t about survival … it’s about pulling ahead. In doing that, there are some basics that, in my experience, have to happen. Or at the very least, they make the shoveling a whole lot less brutal. Read more on Cracked…
Have you been on the magic carpet ride this month? All the hectic Christmas and Hanukah rituals are over for this year, and in the wake of all the festivities I am reminded of what’s really important in my life—my cherished relationships. Sometimes as I race from one activity to the next, I can forget to how to breathe deeply. How about you? Are you so focused on your daily commitments and busy schedules that you forget to breathe out … fully? To let … go? Learn how to decrease stress on Your Tango…
2013 was a year of enormous personal upheaval for me. I met my life partner and married him just five months later at City Hall. I lost a friend to suicide. I distanced myself from people who weren’t proving themselves to be interested in the caliber of friendship that I want to invest in. I made huge strides in standing up for myself and not taking other people’s bullshit — a lot of which had to do with the wedding.
Most of the changes that occurred were ultimately good for me. At least, that’s how I choose to look at them. All of the changes, though, required me to get out of my comfort zone in order to figure out what was right for me. I’ve always been a risktaker, but this year felt especially poignant. Keep reading »
How’s this for a nightmare scenario: a friend is over and suddenly thrusts a beautifully-wrapped gift in your face and you had no idea she was expecting to exchange presents. Or your family agreed to just give presents to the children this year, but your showoff-y sister just arrived with handmade DIY presents for everybody. Quick, it’s time to take a peek around the house for last-minute things you can re-gift! Keep reading »