Do you have problems pooping at work? Are you venturing into the wild world of gay anal sex? Do you fear that a large ship is secretly stalking you? Then there’s a how to book for you! We’ve found 18 unbelievable how to books that’ll help you become better at virtually everything. Like, seriously, everything.
You’ll thank us for improving your life, really.
Amy Poehler’s “Ask Amy” advice series is never not amazing and this week’s segment on how to deal with your parents is no different. Even though “Ask Amy” is for teenaged girls, Poehler’s super-smart advice works for daughters of any age … including those of us in the “why aren’t you married and giving me grandchildren?” years. She seems like an awesome human being and an awesome mom. I can’t be the only one who wants her to adopt me, right? [YouTube]
Have you ever gotten a text from a dude and had no idea how to respond? Like, something vague like “what’s up” or “thanks for last night” or “stop calling me, you’re creeping me out”? There’s a new website called He Texted that helps take the mystery out of dude messages. Girls post texts they’ve received from guys and readers then vote on whether they think the guy is into it, over it, or if they’re not sure. So simple, but yet so necessary. (Though generally? If you have to ask, he’s probably not that into you).
The site also offers personal advice from two bros — Ben, who calls himself a “dude whisperer,” and Mason, who is a self-proclaimed douchebag. “Hey there,” says Mason.”I’m kind of a douchebag, who knows many other douchebags. If you are having a douchebag situation, hit me up. Pretty sure I’ll be able to tell you exactly what’s going on. Oh and for the record, it’s not that I don’t like you, I just have a short attention span.” Ah, so that explains it. [He Texted]
Two years ago, I met a gentleman I shall henceforth call James, because his name was, well, James. James and I had a first date for the books. It lasted a full 10 hours (we’d met up for coffee at 3 p.m. on a Saturday), and we discussed everything from the rudeness inherent to chronic lateness to how we both hate the book Confederacy of Dunces. We discussed how embarrassed we both are by this latter fact.
I knew about James like you know a good dye job. Here’s the one for me, I thought. The man I’ve been looking for years. I just KNOW.
There was one little problem, however, and that was that James already had a wife. Keep reading »
Last week, I wrote about a Pendleton plaid satchel that had me yearning to pack it up and hit the road for a fall road trip, and as the leaves have started changing colors, my road trip excitement has increased exponentially. Fall is the perfect time to take a long, lazy drive, because the weather is calm and the scenery is unbelievably gorgeous. Whether your road trip lasts a few hours or a few days, I highly encourage you to take one. Here are 7 things you’ll need to have the best experience possible… Keep reading »
I’ve always had good skin. It’s not the best skin in the world, but it’s good — I was fortunate enough to escape adolescence largely unscathed by acne eruptions, and even now I rarely have more than one pimple at any given moment. Thanks in part to my fastidious skincare routine and borderline obsessive refusal to not fall asleep with makeup on no matter how exhausted or inebriated (or both, as is usually the case) I am, my skin is good enough that I field compliments on it regularly. Keep reading »
You’ve always wondered what it might be like to get with that older, distinguished dude in your office, right? You’re all, “What was life like before the Internet?” And he’s all, “Shut up and help me boot up my computer.” You’re so clearly meant for each other, if only he could see it! Our friend Almie Rose has made this helpful video which will guide you through the process of snagging an older guy. Enjoy! — Editors
Australian mining tycoon Gina Rinehart is really concerned about your welfare. That’s why Rinehart — who is considered the richest woman in the world, with an inherited fortune of $30.1 billion — helpfully offered her unsolicited advice on how to be stupid-rich, just like her. She says that the poors are just having too much fun and they need to buckle down and get serious if they want to stop being so disgustingly not rich.
“If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain,” she tsk-tsked. “Do something to make more money yourself — spend less time drinking or smoking and socializing, and more time working.” Ah! So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong — it’s my smoking and drinking problem that’s getting in the way of s-u-c-c-e-s-s. Keep reading »
This past weekend, I had brunch with a single guy friend and, as I tend to do when I’m in these situations, I took advantage of the opportunity to ask him questions about dating.
“So, what’s the your least favorite thing about dating?” I asked.
“When I’m on a dates, I hate when women project their dating history onto me,” he replied.
“You mean like they talk about their baggage?”
“No,” he said, “But it’s like I can tell who’s sat in the chair before me by they way they act.” Keep reading »