“It almost seems like your twenties is about having everything you ever thought was true proved wrong. And I think that’s why so many people kill themselves at 27. You just can’t take any more of finding out how wrong you were! And then, by the time you reach your early thirties, you find out that it doesn’t really matter, because it all keeps going on and what you think about it is not really that important. It’s just a matter of trying to make some sense of the small things. Stop trying to control everything and let it happen. Also, your ambitions change, become less to do with trophies, I think.”
––That’s Elastica (remember them?) frontwoman Justine Frischmann, in a 2002 interview talking about the existential crisis most of us go through in our 20s. Though the interview is more than ten years old, the advice is pretty fucking timeless and spot on. [The Guardian]
A few things are inevitable in life: death, taxes … and dealing with difficult people. From work to friendships to romantic relationships, difficult interactions can hit us from all angles and can take a heavy toll on us.
A few days ago, I was doing some much needed reorganizing and I found this packet from a class I think I took many moons ago. I can’t remember who taught it, but the packet was filled with amazing and hilarious “rules” for dealing with difficult people. Within these humorous insights are perils of wisdom that can help you keep your cool during an argument or any other trying exchange.
I really wish I could give you the source, but no names were written on the sheet so all I have is the information. I couldn’t keep it all to myself though, so here are some amazing (and I’d even say life-changing) rules for dealing with difficult people: Read more…
Maybe it’s because I’m a Virgo, or because I’m a hundred years old, or both, but seriously? People have zero manners or respect anymore. There are the people who don’t understand “quiet voice,” the jerks at the coffee shop who never say thank you, the asshats who insist on making other people clean up after them. These people are terrible. You don’t want to be these people, right? Good. That’s why we’ve assembled 24 easy-to-remember tips to ensure that you’re part of the solution and not part of the problem.
Click through to read.
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In a previous Crave, Ami advised you to pick up the book Tiny Beautiful Things, a collection of the Dear Sugar advice columns published on the website The Rumpus. Penned by author Cheryl Strayed (who also wrote the best-selling memoir Wild), the Sugar advice columns are filled to the brim with wonderful wisdom for both the advice seeker and the reader. One of the more popular bits of advice Sugar ever gave was to a struggling writer in a column called “Write Like A Motherfucker.” Whether you’re a student struggling through your senior thesis or a novelist facing a serious bout of writer’s block or a blogger questioning your career’s tragectory, Sugar’s advice to” write like a motherfucker — read the whole column here — will light a fire under your ass. I bought this mug about a month ago and posted this photo of it to my Tumblr blog. Before I knew it, it had been reblogged over 2,000 times — clearly, this is a mantra many can relate to and this mug is a daily reminder of Sugar’s advice to give your all to your passions, regardless of how that effort is perceived by those around you. [$13, The Rumpus Shop]
Ladies, I’ve got some life tips. Cheat codes, even. I don’t know much about life, but what I’ve learned is that blah blah blah “Wonder Years” episode whatever. Let’s just get to it. Here’s what I have to offer… Keep reading »
Pauline Phillips, best known to the world as the advice columnist “Dear Abby,” passed away this week at the age of 94. In her honor, here’s a column where she gives very sound advice to a woman who doesn’t know whether to marry the safe guy or the one who gives her “the creeps.” “Don’t marry either one,” Dear Abby advised. “When ‘The One’ comes along, you’ll flip your lid, not a coin.” BOOM. [Buzzfeed]
It’s not your fault he cheated. (Guys, same goes for you. It’s not your fault she cheated.) Cheating is not the fault of the cheatee. Are we all clear on that? You didn’t cause it. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Yes, it was probably a symptom of a problem in the relationship, but cheating is not the appropriate way to handle such problems. People who cheat are selfish cowards.
I say this as a person who cheated once. I’m not proud of it. It happened when I was much younger, when I was too scared to talk about the doubts I was having about the relationship. It wasn’t my boyfriend’s fault. He did nothing wrong. I was the asshole with the bad coping skills. I’ve grown up since then. I’ve learned how to talk about my feelings. I would never cheat on anyone again because I understand why it’s not the right thing to do. It doesn’t solve any problems, it only creates more. I don’t consider myself a dishonest person for having cheated, but I do think I was a misguided person at the time.
I’m making this confession, not for sympathy, but in response to this article I came across called “10 Ways To Keep Him From Cheating.” Making it even more offensive is the fact that this piece was written by a licensed relationship counselor. She says:
“Most men do not cheat because they don’t love you anymore. Men cheat because they want more variety in their sex lives. Some complain of being bored. They want to feel adored by their partners; they want to assert their freedom; they are tired of disappointing you; they want a partner who places them at the center of their life, and they no longer feel like the priority in yours.”
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The green-eyed monster: it’s nice to know that even super-successful, “Saturday Night Live”-starring, Golden Globes-hosting, Tina Fey-best-friending Amy Poehler has had to slay that one. Her advice on how not to let jealousy make you a bitter person might proves Amy might be most rational person in Hollywood!
The holidays mean lots of family time, and if you have a significant other, you could be meeting his family for the first time over the Christmas dinner. Whether you’re in a serious relationship or dating someone new, meeting the family — and especially the parents — can be nerve-racking. While there’s no predicting how the meeting will go, thanks to all the movie examples of worse-case scenarios and crazy families, we can at least relax knowing it could be worse. And we can learn what to do and what not to do from these memorable meet-the-family scenes. Check out the tips for meeting the fam now! Read more…