Love, sweet love — it’s basically a transactional agreement between two people who believe that they’ve successfully traded upon their skills and abilities to find a suitable mate. No? That’s not your definition of love? What about if you’re really, really pretty? And maybe you think you could find a richer, more successful man by trading on your looks? Meet Dear Prudence letter writer “Sincerely Shallow,” who asked the advice columnist just that. Here’s her question:
“I’m recently engaged to the most honest, thoughtful, and loving man I’ve ever met. He has supported me through many hard times, including losing my job and being assaulted. Here’s the but about him: He makes no money. He has ambitions, and he’s smart, but will likely only bring a middle-class income at best. I have an OK job and I’m self-sufficient. Now here’s the but about me: I’m really, really pretty. My whole life people have told me I could get any man I want, meaning a rich man, and are shocked that I’m engaged to my fiancé, nice though he is. I’ve never dated a rich man, but it does make me curious. So part of me thinks I’m squandering my good looks on this poor man, and the other part of me thinks that I’m so shallow that I don’t even deserve him or anyone else. Am I a fool for thinking that a poor man can make me happy, or an idiot for believing a sexist fantasy?”
Before you say I’m bashing her just because she has high self-esteem, give me a sec. Keep reading »
Amy Dickinson is the advice column for the Chatham, Ontario, paper Chatham Daily News. The other day she received the following letter from a “divorced dad”
I’ve been divorced for four years. My daughter chose to stay with me. Her friends and her school were here; she is also closer to me than her mother. She is 18 now and away at college.
She has had a close friend for three years. This friend attends college here in town. Her friend and I enjoy each other’s company. The girl just turned 18 too. My daughter suggested that I ask her friend out and said that her friend would say yes.
I said, “You’re my daughter, and she’s your friend. Wouldn’t that be weird for you?” My daughter laughed and said that she can handle it. She is mature for her age.
I’m 44 years old. I like the girl, and I certainly find her attractive. Is she off-limits? — Divorced Dad
So what advice did Amy give? Keep reading »
My boyfriend Nick and I recently made a new relationship rule: as soon as either of us feels any inkling of a bad mood coming on, we tell each other ASAP. Just a quick heads up, like, “Hey, I’m feeling a little irritable right now.” Announcing your bad mood before it causes a problem lets your partner know they shouldn’t take any crankiness personally, and forces you to be accountable for your own emotions. This is such a quick, easy thing to do, but it has worked wonders for our relationship. The success of the Bad Mood Rule inspired me to compile a list of other quick, easy tips that just might save your relationship. Read on for 10 more ideas from The Frisky ladies and me, and please feel free to add your own tips in the comments! Keep reading »
Many of us are focused on self-growth and self-reflection when it comes to enhancing our sex lives — and there’s nothing wrong with that! But most of us aren’t even aware of the importance that our environment plays in having a better sex life. Sadly, we often neglect the place where most of the action takes place: the bedroom.
Have you really looked at your bedroom lately? Go ahead, give it a once-over. Does it invite intimacy? Is it comfortable? Does it feel like your sanctuary? Or could it use some improvement?
Below are some totally doable tips for creating a bedroom that will not only enhance your sex life, but become a refuge from the stress of daily life, too.
1. Sexy to the touch. A cozy comforter makes you want to slip into bed, and soft sheets complete the experience. Remember, only a few throw pillows … you don’t want to ruin the romantic moment by doing manual labor to clear yourselves a spot on the bed! Plush carpeting is always nice, but if your budget is an issue, a soft and furry throw rug creates a comfy landing for your feet … or for the both of you, in case the mood strikes before you make it to the mattress. Read more on Your Tango…
When I was in middle school, I was picked to become a peer mediator. At the time, I was just stoked to get out of classes for two days for program-mandated training, but it ended up being some of the most useful stuff I learned in school. The theory behind peer mediation is that kids benefit from resolving conflicts without the express involvement of authority figures, and without the threat of disciplinary action. I only actually mediated on a few cases when I was in school, but the basic tenets of mediation theory and conflict-resolution philosophy have always stuck with me.
The key to winning any fight is not to fight at all. But if that’s an impossibility, then try these five tips that will help you successfully navigate — and resolve! — any conflict.
Keep reading »
Usually our mothers give us sound advice, like we need to use shaving cream and lotion to prevent razor burn. Or that that we should swallow our pride and apologize if we’ve done something wrong. We’re on board with this stuff. But sometimes, the things our mothers tell us are just really bizarre. In honor of Mother’s Day, some motherly words of wisdom from questionable beliefs about bananas to misconceptions about our periods that made us go Huh? Keep reading »
This morning, I opened Facebook to see that, like usual, I only had one notification and it was from my mom. No complaints! My mom is actually a lot cooler than me and her posts are generally worth a look. This one was no exception. It was Thom Yorke and Nigel Godrich of Atoms for Peace, appearing on Rookie Mag’s“Ask A Grown Man” video series. The teens’ questions are delightfully honest and the answers’ relevance reaches well beyond its target audience. This video is a lovely antidote for anyone in a dating malaise. [Rookie Mag]
As you know, I’m moving from Portland to Nashville in a couple weeks (gulp). I’ve started selling most of my stuff and getting all the logistics figured out, and everything’s going pretty well so far. There’s one thing, though, that’s been weighing on me since I began the process of relocating my life: I’m freaking out about leaving my best friend, Katelyn.
We met during college at Portland State and have been inseparable ever since. Currently, we see each other at least two or three times a week, and while we’re pretty good at talking on the phone too, the thought of putting thousands of miles between us is daunting to say the least. Since Ami gave me such great advice about moving, I thought I’d ask my Frisky coworkers for advice on how to make a long distance friendship work. It turns out that Jessica, especially, has a lot of experience in this arena, with friends scattered all over the globe. Read on for their top 10 LDF tips, and please share your own experiences and advice in the comments! Keep reading »
Running into an old crush. Thinking about a friend and getting a text from them 30 seconds later. Receiving an unexpected check in the mail (that’s the exact amount needed to cover an overdue bill). We like to call these lovely experiences Good Universe Moments (GUMs, for short), and we’ve all had them, whether or not we took a moment to acknowledge how magical they are. To help you notice and interpret these moments, we’ve put together a list of eight common GUMs, along with their possible meanings and how to handle them. Click through to get the scoop!