Sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed at the thought of how much I want to accomplish in a given day or week, or how much growing stands between me and whatever distant, self-actualized ideal I hope to someday be. On days when I wake up cranky, thinking about stuff like this creates a snowball effect and suddenly I’m frustrated and calling myself a failure because I’m not living up to some nonexistent hypothetical that nobody else even sees but me — and then I miss out on enjoying all the great stuff that’s happening right in front of me. What I forget a lot is that every second is an opportunity to make a choice that aligns with becoming a calmer, kinder person, or at least could make me feel like more of a “together” person (I’m convinced people who 100 percent have it together don’t actually exist, but that’s another story).
I think one of the biggest reasons we get stuck in personal ruts or find ourselves feeling trapped in routines we absolutely hate is because the prospect of changing our lives sounds gigantic and intimidating. In actuality, epic changes don’t happen overnight. Whether you want to rebuild a relationship, rescue your finances, change the way you treat your body, or just improve your attitude, it will happen slowly as lots of tiny choices start to stack on top of one another. I find that to be a huge relief, because none of us can move a mountain in a day or do things perfectly all day long, but it’s so much easier to make a tiny positive choice in the right direction. Here are a few itsy bitsy changes that don’t always come easily but can make life a bit sweeter. Keep reading »
This month, LinkedIn rounded up over 80 influential business leaders and asked them what they would say to their 22-year-old selves about their working lives. The participants were asked what traits they found to be most important for 22-year-olds, and adaptability and resilience came out on top. What I find kind of sad and weird is that only two percent said humility or knowledge (yes, knowleges) were most important. But hey, I guess that means that youth is the time to be brash! Surprisingly LinkedIn found that 86 percent of the influencers they spoke to are doing something they never imagined with their lives. (Another statistic that really stuck out? Only 14 percent of them had roommates at 22 ‚ how were they all affording to live alone!?).
LinkedIn also asked readers to chime in and share their two cents on life at 22. Here are a few pieces of advice us young people can learn from some of the business world’s brightest and best (and other wise LinkedIn readers): Keep reading »
I’m a regular reader of Slate’s advice column, “Dear Prudence,” which counsels letter writers on problems great and small. While the questions fairly often have to do with matters pertaining to sex, this is the first time I’ve seen Prudie advise a letter writer who caught a tween masturbating with a kitchen utensil. Which may or may not have been suggested by the letter writer’s sister, a ‘cool aunt.’ From the letter:
… This weekend, I came home to hear a commotion in the kitchen and found my daughter holding the hand mixer against her body. Embarrassed, she said her aunt had “taught her this trick.” Now, I can easily imagine she may have just thrown that out as an inappropriate joke, but I wouldn’t put it past her to have meant it seriously. Obviously, our daughter wouldn’t be the first 13-year-old girl put in an awkward situation to lie, either.
Well then. Keep reading »
Whether we notice it or not, we all face the occasional visit of a nagging voice inside our heads that questions whether we’re good enough. You know the one — it turns up when you’re face to face with your ex, putting yourself out there creatively or just looking at yourself in the mirror. That little inner critic can become our own worst enemy and even hold us back from pursuing the things that would make us happiest. The negative running dialogue in our head can sound like came from a bratty girl in a middle school cafeteria — only it never left. Where the hell does it come from? Keep reading »
For better or for worse, our first impressions of the world usually come through the people who raise us. Luckily for me, the women in my family were able to gently guide me through any situation, offering their priceless opinions and advice along the way. They conveyed much of their wisdom through words, but I learned even more through their actions. In honor of Mother’s Day, here are some of the best bits of advice and life lessons I’ve learned from my amazing mom (and by proxy, my aunts and my grandmothers). Keep reading »
Mother’s Day is still three weeks away, but the Internet is already getting started with weepy videos about our moms. And Buzzfeed’s video, “Things Moms Want Their Daughters To Know,” is up there on the weep-ster scale. From body confidence, fear of failure, and filling your life with love, the tips these mothers and soon-to-be-mothers will prick your eyes with daughterly tears. If only my own mother had participated, she could have taught everyone how to remember the proper way to set a table! (Fork on the left because both words have four letters, knife and spoon on the right because all the words have five letters. Huzzah!) [YouTube]