Tag Archives: advice

Friend Custody: Who Gets Whom After A Breakup?

One of the things I love about being in a relationship is that my friend circle multiplies. But what happens to those newly formed friendships when the relationship ends? For example, recently two of my friends who were in a couple broke up and it’s been awkward ever since. Where we used to all go out together once or twice a month, now I have to split time between them, and I have the nagging feeling that I’m cheating when I hang out with one and not the other. After driving myself crazy for a few weeks (Do I talk about or avoid the subject? Partake in talk about the ex or awkwardly change the subject when it comes up?), I sought some advice on dealing with the joint-friends breakup — who keeps whom? And does it really have to come down to that? Keep reading »

Making A Fresh Start In The New Year

No matter how charmed (or challenging) life can be, the new year always seems to startle us into finding ways to make it better. Remember that trying to make too many changes at once may be so overwhelming that we quit before even getting started. But choosing one really important goal is doable, right? What is a must for you in 2009? Maybe you want to find a new love. Maybe your goal is a leaner, stronger body. Or, maybe your inner fashionista is calling for a new curly hairstyle, revamped wardrobe or makeup makeover. Whatever you choose, making it happen will take a little soul-bearing honesty and a lot of action. Here are a few ways we can all get started on our resolutions as we ring in the new year. And keep them. Keep reading »

Should He Tell His Father He Slept With His Stepmother?

Slate advice columnist Dear Prudence got a doozy in her mailbag this week. A son wants to know if he should tell his father that he carried on an affair with his stepmother for years. Karma’s Bitch Boy writes: “When I was 17, Mom and Stepdad had to move to another city, so I moved in with Dad and Stepmom. My father’s new wife was a much younger and very attractive woman. The atmosphere was more relaxed than in my previous home. So much so that my stepmom (she’s about 15 years older) and I developed an attraction and started an affair.” Gulp! When Dad was out of town, son and stepmom got it on a couple times a month. The affair continued when Karma Boy went off to college and after; finally, he ended it two years ago. Now, his father is divorcing his stepmother for cheating on him — with somebody else — and his stepmother has informed him that unless he gets his father to concede on a financial matter that’s beneficial to her, she’s going to tell his father about their affair. Prudie advises the son tell his father what he’s done. What do you think he should do? [Slate] Keep reading »

Intervention: When BFs and BFFs Don’t Mix

“Thank God you’re not with him anymore.” My friend rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you dated him.”

Whoa. What? My friend’s distaste for my now ex-boyfriend was news to me. How my family and friends feel about the person I’m dating is almost as important as how I feel about him. So if my ex had been so unpopular with my inner circle, why hadn’t someone said something before?

Whether or not to clue a friend or family member into the fact that her significant other is lazy, noncommittal, mean, a couple sandwiches short of a picnic, or dealing something shady out of his basement can be a delicate situation, but it doesn’t have to end your relationship. Keep reading »

A Man’s Take On Advice In Women’s Magazines

“Why won’t he commit?”

“Get your man to say ‘I do!’”

“Why don’t guys call when they say they will?”

Peruse any magazine rack and various Web sites and you’ll see headlines such as these splattered all over. Inside you’ll read article upon article about how women can decode, seduce, corral, turn on, and coerce men. Keep reading »

Are Creative Types Just Good For Flings?

Are “creative types” good for anything other than flings? “I am always attracted to creative men,” one woman writes the Guardian. “Most of my boyfriends have been poets or artists, largely because of my job and circle of friends. But my last two boyfriends were unfaithful and I wonder if creative types are good only for flings and if I’d be better off with a man who has a proper job.” Relationship expert Dr. Luisa Dillner responds: “Creative people may be less inclined to monogamy because it’s conventional, their talent may make them attractive and interesting (they have something special) and they may be supremely self-confident. Creativity suggests a passionate nature; these men may be more charismatic than your average guy. Since creative people often hang out together, they may reinforce the idea that it’s OK to have sex on the side.” Instead, she advises the woman find a “nice steady Italian policeman” — because women like men in uniform. So, what do you think? Do creative types make good boyfriends, or are they better for flings? [Guardian.co.uk] Keep reading »

18 Tips To Keep Sane While Working From Home

If 2008 has been any indication, expect quite a few of us to start working from home in 2009. From an increase in telecommuting jobs to taking on blogging gigs and freelance work to make ends meet, more and more of us will be earning our keep from the comfort of our own homes. It’s a great setup if you can get it, but it holds the danger of being a little lonely; for some, the prospect of spending their lives working in pajamas with dust bunnies their sole source of company threatens their sanity. After the jump, 18 tips to keep sane and help you maintain a healthy work/life balance when clocking in from home. Keep reading »

Going On A Manhunt: On the Prowl In The ’80s

I’ve been single so long, I was starting to think I’m do everything wrong…that is until I watched this totally ’80s dating video, “Going On A Manhunt,” brought to us by the studs of VHS at Everything Is Terrible. Sheesh, the “experts” in this vid managed to come up with so many ideas even more overwrought than their permed hair — like using a small stuffed animal to get a man’s attention. Seriously, what happened to a good old-fashioned low-cut dress?! If pathetically pretending to love a fake pet is what you need to find true love — i.e. a guy wearing an infomercial-style sweater — I’m going to resign myself to real cats and happily be a spinster for life!

Keep reading »

What A Craigslist Ad Teaches Us About Relationships

Forget self-help books and magazine columns. For dating and relationship advice, I recommend Craigslist. Don’t believe me? Yesterday, I was perusing the New York City section of the site, hoping someone might be unloading a pair of Veronica slouch Frye boots in a size 7, preferably barely used, and hopefully well under the $328 they retail for, when I came across the following ad. The subject header: “Mens clothes, My ex’s xmas gifts he’ll never get, It’s a steal.”

Keep reading »

How To Get Through The First 30 Days Of Your 30′s

You know what you ought to do before you turn 30 (1, 2, 3, 4), but what do you do afterward? Believe it or not, life doesn’t magically come into focus the second that you’re no longer 20-something. Creating the life you want in your 30′s takes work. To make the transition into your new decade as smooth as possible, here are a few tips for navigating those first 30 days. Keep reading »

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