Don’t fool yourself, if someone asks you to make a speech at their wedding, it’s important … that you don’t bomb. I know this from experience as I had to make a speech at my brother’s rehearsal dinner this past year. Luckily, it went off with out a hitch. But we’ve all been to those weddings where someone bungled the speech. You do not want to be that person. I was at one wedding where the maid of honor, drunk off bubbly, ran through a list of the most embarrassing guys the bride had dated. At another, a groomsmen had nothing planned and rambled on and on for at least 30 minutes. Or at least it seemed that way. Not okay! Successful wedding speeches, while different, all have certain elements in common. And even though we all have varying degrees of comfort with public speaking, there are some tricks that will make your speech awesome no matter what. After the jump, some tips for making yours a hit.
Keep reading »
I am writing this post at the request of my co-workers. This morning when I came into the office, my co-workers were talking about how our video server was being obstinate. My reply was, “You must romance it into submission.” This was met with confused looks. So, I was obliged to present my Theory Of Technology Romance. My hypothesis is as follows: The more adversarial and impatient you are toward technology, the more problems it will present you. Shower your technology with love, kindness and affection, romance it, and you will have your technology eating out of the palm of your hand. Well, not eating, but printing out your copies, sending your epic text message when you have one bar of service or generally submitting to your will. Love your technology and it will love you back. After the jump, some tips for how to do this. Keep reading »
Whenever summer rolls around I look forward to hot days, gorgeous nights, skimpy sundresses, and sangria. But there’s one thing about this amazing season that fills me with dread, that makes me sigh dramatically as I unpack my summer wardrobe, that makes me cringe at the thought of an afternoon stroll through the park. Two words, my friends: thigh chafing.
According to fashion magazines and fitness shows and hipster photos on Pinterest, all women are supposed to have a generous gap between our thighs (judging from Pinterest, ideally the gap should be large enough to frame a picture of the sunset). I’ve been many different weights in my life, but honestly, I can’t remember a time when my thighs didn’t touch. In the fall and winter when I’m always wearing tights or pants, this isn’t a problem at all. In the summer, when I’m wearing mini skirts and breezy dresses, it is a huge problem… Keep reading »
A few nights ago, I watched a giant spider slowly creep across my bedroom wall, leering at me with eight beady eyes. I held my breath as its hairy legs traversed framed pictures, approaching me with increasing speed until it finally leapt off the wall and landed in my hair. I screamed and madly raked my hands through my hair, trying to get it off me. When it wouldn’t budge, I ran across the room in a panic, trying anything to untangle it from my hair, but suddenly there were more of them: little spiders streaming onto my forehead and lowering down into my eyes.
I woke up on the floor of my closet, hyperventilating, with a nasty scrape on my arm from where I had bumped into my dresser. This was the worst nightmare I’ve had lately, but it definitely wasn’t the only one. In fact, I haven’t gotten much sleep at all the past couple weeks… Keep reading »
Summer is finally here, and so are the ubiquitous crash diet plans and pressure to get a “bikini body,” whatever that means. Here’s an idea: how about we stop trying to change our bodies and start celebrating them instead? To get started, check out these 10 fun, easy ways to show your body some love over the next few months… Keep reading »
Let me tell you about a thing that happened to me once: It was 2004. and I was 25 and out to dinner with a guy I’d been casually seeing for awhile. I was under the impression that, following our post-dinner drinks, we’d be going back to his place so we could … pick your euphemism why don’t you: Do the horizontal mambo, do it, bone. But then, as we exited the bar, he was all, “Well, I should really be getting home.”
I took this as an indication that he was shy – unsure of whether or not I was in the mood – and so I took it upon myself to throw my arms around his neck and say, “Whaaaaat? Nooooo! Don’t you want to have sex with me tonight? It’ll be … fun!”
Then I burped accidentally. I’m talking, like, right in his face. Keep reading »