Slate advice columnist Dear Prudence got a doozy in her mailbag this week. A son wants to know if he should tell his father that he carried on an affair with his stepmother for years. Karma’s Bitch Boy writes: “When I was 17, Mom and Stepdad had to move to another city, so I moved in with Dad and Stepmom. My father’s new wife was a much younger and very attractive woman. The atmosphere was more relaxed than in my previous home. So much so that my stepmom (she’s about 15 years older) and I developed an attraction and started an affair.” Gulp! When Dad was out of town, son and stepmom got it on a couple times a month. The affair continued when Karma Boy went off to college and after; finally, he ended it two years ago. Now, his father is divorcing his stepmother for cheating on him — with somebody else — and his stepmother has informed him that unless he gets his father to concede on a financial matter that’s beneficial to her, she’s going to tell his father about their affair. Prudie advises the son tell his father what he’s done. What do you think he should do? [Slate] Keep reading »
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“Thank God you’re not with him anymore.” My friend rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you dated him.”
Whoa. What? My friend’s distaste for my now ex-boyfriend was news to me. How my family and friends feel about the person I’m dating is almost as important as how I feel about him. So if my ex had been so unpopular with my inner circle, why hadn’t someone said something before?
Whether or not to clue a friend or family member into the fact that her significant other is lazy, noncommittal, mean, a couple sandwiches short of a picnic, or dealing something shady out of his basement can be a delicate situation, but it doesn’t have to end your relationship. Keep reading »
“Why won’t he commit?”
“Get your man to say ‘I do!’”
“Why don’t guys call when they say they will?”
Peruse any magazine rack and various Web sites and you’ll see headlines such as these splattered all over. Inside you’ll read article upon article about how women can decode, seduce, corral, turn on, and coerce men. Keep reading »
Are “creative types” good for anything other than flings? “I am always attracted to creative men,” one woman writes the Guardian. “Most of my boyfriends have been poets or artists, largely because of my job and circle of friends. But my last two boyfriends were unfaithful and I wonder if creative types are good only for flings and if I’d be better off with a man who has a proper job.” Relationship expert Dr. Luisa Dillner responds: “Creative people may be less inclined to monogamy because it’s conventional, their talent may make them attractive and interesting (they have something special) and they may be supremely self-confident. Creativity suggests a passionate nature; these men may be more charismatic than your average guy. Since creative people often hang out together, they may reinforce the idea that it’s OK to have sex on the side.” Instead, she advises the woman find a “nice steady Italian policeman” — because women like men in uniform. So, what do you think? Do creative types make good boyfriends, or are they better for flings? [Guardian.co.uk] Keep reading »
If 2008 has been any indication, expect quite a few of us to start working from home in 2009. From an increase in telecommuting jobs to taking on blogging gigs and freelance work to make ends meet, more and more of us will be earning our keep from the comfort of our own homes. It’s a great setup if you can get it, but it holds the danger of being a little lonely; for some, the prospect of spending their lives working in pajamas with dust bunnies their sole source of company threatens their sanity. After the jump, 18 tips to keep sane and help you maintain a healthy work/life balance when clocking in from home. Keep reading »
I’ve been single so long, I was starting to think I’m do everything wrong…that is until I watched this totally ’80s dating video, “Going On A Manhunt,” brought to us by the studs of VHS at Everything Is Terrible. Sheesh, the “experts” in this vid managed to come up with so many ideas even more overwrought than their permed hair — like using a small stuffed animal to get a man’s attention. Seriously, what happened to a good old-fashioned low-cut dress?! If pathetically pretending to love a fake pet is what you need to find true love — i.e. a guy wearing an infomercial-style sweater — I’m going to resign myself to real cats and happily be a spinster for life!
Forget self-help books and magazine columns. For dating and relationship advice, I recommend Craigslist. Don’t believe me? Yesterday, I was perusing the New York City section of the site, hoping someone might be unloading a pair of Veronica slouch Frye boots in a size 7, preferably barely used, and hopefully well under the $328 they retail for, when I came across the following ad. The subject header: “Mens clothes, My ex’s xmas gifts he’ll never get, It’s a steal.”
You know what you ought to do before you turn 30 (1, 2, 3, 4), but what do you do afterward? Believe it or not, life doesn’t magically come into focus the second that you’re no longer 20-something. Creating the life you want in your 30′s takes work. To make the transition into your new decade as smooth as possible, here are a few tips for navigating those first 30 days. Keep reading »
With less than a month to go till 2009, we know many people are thinking about the past year and what they’d like to do differently within the next 365 days. The thing about resolutions is that we constantly set ourselves up for disappointment. Either the goal is too big and we’re upset that we don’t get there quickly enough, or we don’t surround ourselves with enough encouragement and support to follow through. Making a resolution is largely about making change easier. We don’t often want to do the things we’ve put our minds to because they don’t happen easily. But you can make your resolution work for you if you go one step at a time and learn to frame your goals positively (“I will do this”) instead of negatively (“I won’t do that”). Keep reading »
We’re just going to come right out and say it: staying in a bad relationship just because you a) don’t want to be alone for the holidays or b) don’t want to be the bad guy/gal who dumped someone during the most wonderful time of the year is a waste. Why wait until after the new year (or worse yet, after Valentine’s Day) to make a change and move forward? It’s not going to be easy, but isn’t it better to be free than to be dreading an impending breakup for the next couple of weeks or months?
Here are our top 5 highly unscientific reasons you should break up before January 1st: Keep reading »