Why couldn’t Rookie have existed when I was a teenager? All of us screwed up 20- and 30-somethings would have had a better chance at life if we could have asked Tig Notaro for life advice. Here she is doing a segment of “Ask A Grown Woman,” sharing self-confidence tips in regards to her recent mastectomy and her philosophy that what’s most attractive to people is when you own who you really are. (True, by the way.) It gets pretty heavy at the end when she answers a question from a girl who just lost her mother — Tig’s own mother died suddenly recently — but it’s exactly what most of us need to hear. Listen and learn, girls of all ages. [Rookie]
In the last six years that I’ve worked full-time on ye olde internet, blogging about, amongst other things, TV, there is one particularly common directive I’ve heard in our comments section, via email and on Facebook and Twitter that drives me absolutely bat shit nuts: “NO SPOILERS!!!” I suspect that this isn’t going to earn me much fan mail, but I can’t take it anymore, I just have to say it: If a TV show is spoiled for you, chances are pretty goddamn good it’s your own fault and, well, I have very little sympathy for your plight. Sorry! Rather than telling the rest of the internet — which is full of people who, unfortunately, do not know you or particularly care about you — “NO SPOILERS” and expecting them to contort themselves to whatever your viewing timeline happens to be, I suggest you take the following precautions: Keep reading »
This weekend in the New York Times Social Q’s column, a woman wrote in to inquire about how to handle a ruthless grandma who is obsessed with her six-month-old granddaughter’s weight:
My husband and I have a beautiful 6-month-old daughter. She is chubby but not overweight by any means. My mother-in-law, who obviously has a weight obsession and is quite thin, has started making comments about my daughter’s size: “I can’t believe her legs are so big when she kicks all the time.” Or: “She’ll thin out when she starts to crawl.” My husband knows that these comments bother me, but he will not address them with her. I want to protect my daughter from her grandmother’s damaging and unhealthy fixation with weight. What should I do?
Okay, what kind of sick person body snarks a six-month-old baby? I don’t have kids, so I might be wrong about this, but aren’t babies supposed to be fat? I did not know that having a fat six-month-old was a problem you could have. Keep reading »
Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email him! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested. First up…
I’m 32 and married with two young children. Recently I reconnected with one of my best friends from 20 years ago online. We have always had strong feelings for each other and after high school checked in on each other a few times throughout the years. But because we’ve always been with other people, we respected those boundaries. He has always been verbal about his feeling though I haven’t. We have been able to talk to each other like no one else. In February I went to visit him and the feelings were too intense for both of us. We talked everyday, he repeatedly told me he loved me and wanted to know did I love him (although he is also married with two kids). Eventually it got physical. We had a conversation once about him not wanting to hurt anyone else involved … he says there were are so many people who could get hurt if we were to leave our spouses (which is what I wanted). I asked him to just for once consider our feelings, because we never have, and for a few weeks it was great. Then the last time I saw him we had sex. He called me 30 minutes later to tell me how much he loved me and hasn’t returned a call or email since then. I just want him to tell me that he fell out of love, or he thinks we were in the wrong. Or whatever the reason was … Why won’t he at least do that? If you could see the look in his eyes when he told me he loved me, I know he wasn’t lying. I’m still in love with him. He knows I have never ever cheated before and I only did it because it was him. How do I get over this? Why would a man just disappear from someone he loves and should I expect him to come back? Please help me.
Dude, this is brutal.
Keep reading »
When it comes to female friendships, subtlety, nuance and innuendo are everything. We’ve tried to explain this to the men in our lives but they never seem to understand. They’ll say something like, “Well, if Jane was a bitch to you at brunch last weekend, why are you going to dinner with her tonight?” You’ll sigh and then go on for 20 minutes about how you’ve known her since you were 11 and her mom died when she was in high school and that screwed her up. But she makes you laugh your ass off most of the time … when she’s not being passive aggressive as all get out. In the end, you love her and would be devastated if you never talked to her again. So you’re basically going to have to suck it up whatever put downs she might hurl your way at dinner. Keep reading »
Breaking up with a friend is a very dramatic and emotionally trying process. It’s not much different than breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, in fact, it may actually be worse since we tend to be closer and know friends much longer than many of our romantic relationships. I’ve had a few friendship breakups and they freaking sucked but were necessary in order to prevent me from going insane. The first time I had to divorce a friend was just a couple of years ago. (There had been many breakups in this friendship beforehand.)
I had been friends with the same chica since I was eleven years old and by the time we were in high school people on the street would come up to us and ask us if we were twins. We look nothing alike but our mannerism, the way we could speak with gestures and looks yet without words and the way we dressed had become so similar people thought we were related. Read more on College Candy…
Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email it to email@example.com and we’ll make sure he gets it! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested. First up…
“I’ve been spending a lot of time with one of my guy friends. I’m starting to have feelings for him, and suspect he might have feelings for me too. How do I know for sure that he’s feeling something more than friendship and how do I go about bringing up the subject without being too weird?”
My first instinct was: “Ask him out, you chicken.” But that’s a mistake. When a man successfully asks a girl out, it’s the greatest he ever feels. The birth of his first child will be a huge disappointment in comparison. Like “Matrix: Reloaded.” Success with women is a male emotional speedball. Imagine how good River Phoenix felt right before the end. It feels THAT good. So you cannot deny him this. Plus, his emotional overdose is fuel for the rest of the relationship. Let him ride the dragon and he’ll chase it all the way up the aisle. Keep reading »
No one likes rejection (duh!), but it happens to the best of us. And everyone has their own way of dealing with it. From denial to getting sassy, here are all your different options in the unfortunate case that you get let down by the person you’re into. Get clicking and choose your best reaction — tears not included. Read more on Tres Sugar…
What’s the kindest thing you can do for someone who’s getting married? Keep your mouth shut. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. If you’re asked for advice? Give it, judiciously. If you’re not? Please, please, please for the love of cummerbunds, hold your tongue. That goes for anyone, whether we’re talking parents of the happy couple or third cousins or that drunk dude at the bar.
When Patrick and I planned our wedding, which I will always remember fondly as being one of the most stressful times in my life, we were blessed with hands-off families and beer-in-hand friends who took their roles as sounding boards very seriously. The strangers, really, were the ones who gave us the most grief — the guy at the pub who wanted to know when we were having kids, the florist who couldn’t imagine a world without corsages, the saleswoman who told me I wouldn’t feel like a princess in a tea-length wedding dress.
What I wish I’d had then, and what I’m giving y’all now, is a handy list of phrases to keep in your back pocket for those moments when you’re so floored by a suggestion or bit of (bad) advice that you’re tempted to take it just to shut someone up. They’re all wedding-focused, of course, but I like to think they’ll work for anyone on the receiving end of a busybody’s interest. Keep reading »
My name is Amelia and I am a Candy Crush Saga addict. After months of getting invitations to play on Facebook, I finally succumbed to curiosity. Dear God, WHY. I haven’t been this addicted to a game since I entered rehab for my joint Mine Sweeper and Pipe Dream addictions over a decade ago! I close my eyes and I see the Candy Crush playing field. Candy Crush combos infiltrate my dream life. If you guys ever learn that I’ve actually paid for lives or boosters, I hereby give you permission to confiscate my credit card, iPhone and laptop. But luckily this addiction to Candy Crush has not been without its rewards — I have learned a number of vital life lessons simply by playing this game for hours on end. I hope that by sharing them with you, I have made the emotional suffering Candy Crush has caused somehow worthwhile. Keep reading »