Sometimes dating is pure joy—basking in the thrill of meeting a potential Mr. Right can be exciting and energizing. But other times, dating is a chore. It’s discouraging—after so many people you should have clicked with someone by now, right? How come your relationships don’t last—or never even get started?

Ah, men. So endearing. So easily confused. We know we women aren’t the easiest people in the world to figure out, and it’s all too easy for a guy to open his mouth and say something that’s an instant dealbreaker. Whether the subject is sex, weight, or love, here are a few lines that should send you ladies running for the hills if you hear them from your dude. Feel free to add yours in the comments!

He’s the perfect height. He has perfect hands. You love his sister. You love his scent. How can you be with someone who doesn’t know how to play the tuba? Or speak French? He is perfect and everything about him is perfect by association. The problem is he doesn’t want to be with you. And now you’re never going to find love again. Right? Wrong. Here is what you need to remember:

Not to beat this story dead, but a commenter pointed out that the “Friend Or Foe” letter writer has responded to Lucinda Rosenfeld’s advice—on Double X! Here’s a portion of what she wrote and we would like to say, “YOU GO GIRL.”

“For the record, I really was roofied, ma’am. The idea that I must provide you with a tox screen to prove it is galling ... But in the end, I don’t need your advice after all—I figured it out all by myself. Ten years of friendship is a long time, but I was clinging to an institution and a bond that these women abandoned years ago. Perhaps we continued to see each other socially because it was easier than forging new bonds. I’m not sure. For now, these women might be in my social circle due to our vast network of mutual friends, but they are certainly not the close confidantes I once thought I had. P.S. The day I rely more on a boyfriend than on a best girlfriend is the day I lose hope for womankind.”

[Double X]

Writer Lucinda Rosenfeld is in big-time trouble with internet commenters! The author of I’m So Happy For You writes an advice column for Double X called “Friend Or Foe” and her advice to a recent letter writer has commenters calling for her termination. So what was the dilemma and her supposedly awful advice? Let’s begin with the conundrum.

Annika’s post this week about the difficulty in making friends as a grown-up got such a huge response, I thought it warranted a reply here. Who knew so many of us had a friend shortage? Well, as someone who grew up on the move — I lived in 10 different homes in four different countries on three different continents before the age of 18 — my friend-making skills were constantly put to test. As a result, I learned some tips that have served me well as an adult well beyond college, when making friends was as easy as swinging a 6-pack within a 5-mile radius of campus. After reading through all 60+ comments (and counting) on yesterday’s post, I’ve compiled some of the best reader advice as well as some of my own favorite tips for making new friends, after the jump.

I’m tall. I mean, I’m really tall. And I don’t mean 5’10” tall. I’m 6’1”. That’s ridiculously tall. Kermit the Frog once said: “It’s not easy being green.” Well, it’s not easy being a tall woman, either. Among the more common pickup lines we tall ladies hear: “Do you play basketball?” (No.) “What’s the weather like up there?” (Icy.) “I’d like to climb you.” (Really, I’d rather you wouldn’t.) While some women think being tall is something worth writing a book about, other women perceive it to be a disability equivalent to a clubfoot. Mostly, it’s a blessing and a curse. I can reach the highest shelves, but I’ll never blend into the crowd. Dating? That’s a whole other story. For guys who admire amazons, here’s how to bag a tall chick.

Our guys reveal what to do and what not to do on a first date ...

I’ve (11/11/79) recently begun hanging out with the brother of an old friend (11/21/77)and what started as a ball-busting friendship is turning into an intense sexual attraction. We tend to have those conversations that potentially evolve into amazing earth-shattering sex punctuated by laughter and general awesomeness. We’ve both admitted that we feel uncommonly comfortable with each other and we’re sometimes brutally honest. Here’s the issue: right now neither one of us is in a place where we feel able to give a relationship our attention. He’s facing a MAJOR career-altering event in two months (hopefully once in a lifetime event), and I need a few weeks after school ends to get my s**t together after a career-altering and uncommonly stressful year. (I’m a teacher and grad student.) We both need lots of sex, and a primarily sexual relationship is OK with me for the foreseeable future. The problem is that we have an awesome connection, and I’m afraid I will get all dramatic in a few months if it has to end. I hate drama and he’s one of my best friends at the moment.  I do not deal very well with uncertainty about this kind of stuff, which is probably why I am frequently single and a frequent battery-buyer. I like being in control, but I have never wanted to lose control more in my life. —Sex Starved

Want workout and nutritional advice from Heidi Montag? (How very Elizabeth Hasselbeck of her.) Yeah me neither. But apparently Mrs. Pratt doesn’t care what we want—she’s once again unleashing her Playboy-rific bod on the world in a new workout DVD. The plan is to also offer such unheard of and novel nutritional advice like: Avoid all “white” foods, fill up on lean meats, green veggies, apples, berries, blah blah blah.  (Oh, and for the record, “Heidi loves steak!”—only if it’s grass-fed, though.) I wonder if she’ll recommend her plastic surgeon along with all this talk of 90 minute five day-a-week workouts? [People]

If you’ve thumbed through an issue of Maxim magazine or Men’s Health anytime in the last twenty-five years, you’ve probably read a few pointers on how to properly compliment a woman. Personally, I think these lists can be a little too vague, and quite honestly, a little lame. For example, one list I read recently said, “When you meet someone interesting, commend her on her wit or intelligence—not her beautiful breasts.” That someone actually felt compelled to remind men not to compliment breasts at first sight shocked me. Don’t all guys know not to do this?

A long time ago, right before I met the man who would become my husband, I dated a guy named Gary,* a new-age rocket scientist who excelled in many things, including the art of self-promotion.

I remember that cold February night, a week before Valentine’s Day, when we were driving in his car. He had played his guitar and sung songs at his church that day and was giving me the post-mortem on his performance.

Over at the Sundance Channel’s SUNfiltered blog, Em & Lo offer up some truly original sex advice just in time for Father’s Day. It’s the sex advice your dad gave you—without meaning to. After the jump, a few of the best. Then add yours in the comments!

Heya, Georgie, we hear congrats is in order—you’re shacking up with your newest girlfriend! Dude, you’re living the dream, you so are. Actually, hold up. Is she a cocktail waitress? And is this the waitress that you met in Vegas? Or the one that you met in South Beach? You certainly have a type, we’ll give you that. Those red-headed, Barbie-measurement, Ph.D-types out there don’t stand a chance. But really, was that you I saw rocking the slurred facial expressions after another night out? And was that you, surrounded by chicks less than half your age?

This week in “Keepin’ It Classy,” I received a letter from a lady who is trying to get back out onto the dating scene, but she’s confused about current social mores:

“I’m recently single and although I’m not quite yet ready to mingle, I do want to go out with my old girlfriends. Now that I have so much free time, I thought that it would make my social life easier, but it totally hasn’t. I’m so used to just hanging out at home with my man or making couple plans, that I don’t know what the protocol for an average date with the girls is. When did I get this lame? If I want to make plans day of, can I text two friends at the same time to see what they’re doing? Or do I have to wait for one to respond first? Making plans to hang out with friends is even tougher than dating!”

I’ve learned some valuable things about life, love, and being female over the past half-century. Here is the advice I try to pass on to younger women in my life (family and friends) in the hope that it will save them some precious time:

1. You are at least ten times prettier than you think you are.
That holds true no matter how pretty you already think you are! Don’t believe me? Ask your mother/auntie/grannie if she thought she was pretty when she was twenty. She’ll say no. Then find a photo of her at that age. See what I mean?

Horoscope writers use a lot of tricks to make us believe what they’ve said. Here are some of the top ones and some reasons why, even if we do trust the writers, we should still ignore our horoscope anyway.

We’ve been on the fence about Anna Wintour and her persona, wondering whether she puts on a bitch front because she can. However, after seeing her speak last Tuesday and watching the “60 Minutes” special and its outtakes, the Vogue editor-in-chief has our respect. And, she’s taught us a few valuable lessons that explain and defy her reputation.

This week, I received a letter from a woman who’s having commitment issues about her friend’s wedding. Here’s what she has to say about her cold feet:

“I met up with my old college roommate to celebrate her engagement. Although I hadn’t seen her in years, when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I totally said yes. Clearly, I was drunk. The worst part is, now I’m remembering what a friggin’ control freak she is. I’ve pretended to give a hoot at countless dress fittings and didn’t even complain that the dresses she picked for us were hid and $500. But now she wants her bachelorette party to be a week long vacay in Vegas. I’m not made of moolah, or time off from work. I know this is like he most special day of her life. But it’s not mine and I want out! Can I quit? She’s already driving me crazy and her wedding isn’t til October. I do still want to be her friend, just once her bridezilla days are over.”

For many of us, the rise in popularity of social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter means we’re rubbing elbows with family members more often than for Sunday night dinner. Maybe it’s not so strange when it’s a cousin or sister whose lives we’re getting a unique, new peek into, but when our moms and dads start signing up, things have the potential to get awkward. Take, for example, the story of a 19-year-old girl who wrote to Slate’s resident advice columnist, Prudence, after she discovered that her 50-year-old mom had reconnected with an old boyfriend via Facebook.