2013, motherfuckers. Yeah! LET’S DO THIS.
“Do what?” you ask. I DON’T KNOW. LET’S FIGURE THAT OUT TOGETHER, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Feel free to stop reading this if your career is going great, you’re thrilled with your life and you’re happy with your relationships. Enjoy the rest of your day, friend, this article is not for you. You’re doing a great job, we’re all proud of you. So you don’t feel like you wasted your click, here’s a picture of Lenny Kravitz wearing a gigantic scarf.
For the rest of you, I want you to try something: Name five impressive things about yourself. Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room. But here’s the catch — you’re not allowed to list anything you are (i.e., I’m a nice guy, I’m honest), but instead can only list things that you do (i.e., I just won a national chess tournament, I make the best chili in Massachusetts). If you found that difficult, well, this is for you, and you are going to fucking hate hearing it. My only defense is that this is what I wish somebody had said to me around 1995 or so. Read more…
We’re always running to our moms for advice and wise words, but you know what? Despite their mysterious, often silent presences, our dads possess loads of wisdom too. We rounded up some of our most pressing existential queries and asked our dads to give us their takes. First, let’s meet the dads:
- Megan’s dad DAVID raised two lovely, relatively capable daughters by himself. When he’s not consulting on corporate training, he spends his days reading quietly, misplacing his glasses and going for contemplative swims in the lake.
- Julie’s dad STU is a retired nuclear engineer, which yes, makes him basically Homer Simpson. He enjoys gardening, sitting by the pool and offending Red Sox fans.
- Ami’s dad ZAC is the most intellectual jock from Brooklyn you’ll ever meet. A former college basketball player turned successful business man, enjoys taking the dog to Starbucks and spending time with his wife and two kids. He can still dunk.
- Jessica’s dad RUSSELL is a retired father of five and grandfather of four, who lives, feeds the dog, and mows the lawn in suburban Connecticut. He emails Jess regularly to tell her funny jokes he heard on “Red Eye” and is really into being a Republican.
- Winona’s dad DON is a retired monkey wrangler who lives in rural Oregon, and is on an endless quest to find the world’s best chocolate malt.
What they had to say surprised us. Check out their answers to our most crucial queries after the jump. Keep reading »
Winona was raised pseudo-Catholic and I was raised Jewish, which means we understand the feeling of guilt intimately. Mostly, we feel it all the time about pretty much everything. And we were wondering, what would be able to accomplish in life if we weren’t constantly paddling in an Olympic-sized swimming pool of guilt? Existentially speaking, we think a small amount of guilt is healthy to keep one’s moral and ethical standards in check. But the amount we wade through on a daily basis about something as stupid as the dishes in the sink is just a waste of energy. Guilt literally exhausts you, weighs you down and holds you back. It keeps you focused on the past or the future instead of the present. It keeps you in a state of anxiety instead of a state of peace. And worst of all, it makes you second guess yourself. One minute you’re feeling guilty about paying the cable bill late and the next thing you know, the guilt has shapeshifted into you thinking you are a bad person.
That’s ridiculous! Guilt, we are done with you! Goodbye, guilt. GOODBYE. Below is a list of things we’ve vowed to stop feeling guilty about RIGHT NOW. Keep reading »
Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email it to email@example.com and we’ll make sure he gets it! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested. First up…
I just started a new relationship, and my boyfriend is bugging me to get a ‘Brazilian.’ Should I?
And let’s call it what it is: a bald vagina. Keep reading »
My dad can shoot the shit for hours with strangers at Starbucks about pretty much any topic. Why blonde roast is better than French roast. He can have a full on conversation with the TV screen during a basketball game. Why the hell did you do that, you idiot?! He can even carry on a convo with the dog. Does Jackson want a W-A-L-K? But sometimes I call on the phone hoping to talk about my latest existential crisis and our conversation consists of: Hi honey. How are you? Here’s your mother. Keep reading »
“Mona wanted me to tell you that she’d really like to spend more time with you the next time she’s in town,” Ami IM’d me the other day. Mona is her mom. “She’s, like, obsessed with you.”
“I would love to see more of your mom next time,” I wrote back. “We should all go out for pedicures and a glass of wine.”
“Oh, she’d love that,” Ami typed. “She’ll be so excited.”
Shrug. What can I say? Mothers love me. Keep reading »
As a jobless Master’s graduate swiftly approaching 30 years old, I’ve been seeking whatever sage advice I can get (Susan Miller of Astrology Zone is my most frequent source of guidance). When Amy Poehler’s “Ask Amy” video in response to the Boston Marathon bombing went viral, I decided to perk my ears to the knowledge bank that is every “Ask Amy” video ever.
“Ask Amy” is a series of short advice videos that are part of Poehler’s online network “Smart Girls at the Party”; each is a response to a question that any viewer can leave in the comments section of the Smart GirlsYouTube channel. In the most recent episode, Poehler ruminates on the bombing at the Boston Marathon in the context of the media barrage that is so intrinsic to everyday life.
“I kind of feel like my eyes need a break, don’t you? If you do, take it. It’s okay to not be looking at what everyone is looking at all the time. To know what you’re ready to see and not see, and to be okay with letting some things rest in peace.”
What struck me about the video was Ms. Poehler’s cadence. Not only is she sincere, but so calm and focused on what she’s talking about. Unlike the plastic-sounding replies to Seventeen’s “Why Me?” section, Amy responded to her inquirer with such genuine thought and care (not surprising as the entire Smart Girls enterprise is dedicated to “cultivating the authentic selves of young women”). In an effort to exercise some self-care of my own, I decided to watch the entire series of “Ask Amy” videos to uncover what other gems of advice my favorite TV role model had to offer. Here are some of my favorites. Keep reading »
Love, sweet love — it’s basically a transactional agreement between two people who believe that they’ve successfully traded upon their skills and abilities to find a suitable mate. No? That’s not your definition of love? What about if you’re really, really pretty? And maybe you think you could find a richer, more successful man by trading on your looks? Meet Dear Prudence letter writer “Sincerely Shallow,” who asked the advice columnist just that. Here’s her question:
“I’m recently engaged to the most honest, thoughtful, and loving man I’ve ever met. He has supported me through many hard times, including losing my job and being assaulted. Here’s the but about him: He makes no money. He has ambitions, and he’s smart, but will likely only bring a middle-class income at best. I have an OK job and I’m self-sufficient. Now here’s the but about me: I’m really, really pretty. My whole life people have told me I could get any man I want, meaning a rich man, and are shocked that I’m engaged to my fiancé, nice though he is. I’ve never dated a rich man, but it does make me curious. So part of me thinks I’m squandering my good looks on this poor man, and the other part of me thinks that I’m so shallow that I don’t even deserve him or anyone else. Am I a fool for thinking that a poor man can make me happy, or an idiot for believing a sexist fantasy?”
Before you say I’m bashing her just because she has high self-esteem, give me a sec. Keep reading »
Amy Dickinson is the advice column for the Chatham, Ontario, paper Chatham Daily News. The other day she received the following letter from a “divorced dad”
I’ve been divorced for four years. My daughter chose to stay with me. Her friends and her school were here; she is also closer to me than her mother. She is 18 now and away at college.
She has had a close friend for three years. This friend attends college here in town. Her friend and I enjoy each other’s company. The girl just turned 18 too. My daughter suggested that I ask her friend out and said that her friend would say yes.
I said, “You’re my daughter, and she’s your friend. Wouldn’t that be weird for you?” My daughter laughed and said that she can handle it. She is mature for her age.
I’m 44 years old. I like the girl, and I certainly find her attractive. Is she off-limits? — Divorced Dad
So what advice did Amy give? Keep reading »
My boyfriend Nick and I recently made a new relationship rule: as soon as either of us feels any inkling of a bad mood coming on, we tell each other ASAP. Just a quick heads up, like, “Hey, I’m feeling a little irritable right now.” Announcing your bad mood before it causes a problem lets your partner know they shouldn’t take any crankiness personally, and forces you to be accountable for your own emotions. This is such a quick, easy thing to do, but it has worked wonders for our relationship. The success of the Bad Mood Rule inspired me to compile a list of other quick, easy tips that just might save your relationship. Read on for 10 more ideas from The Frisky ladies and me, and please feel free to add your own tips in the comments! Keep reading »