Tag Archives: advice column

My New Reason For Living: “Dear Sugar” Is Back — As A Podcast

Oh my godddddddd, my prayers have been answered! Dear Sugar, the advice column from the Rumpus penned (mostly) by my beloved Cheryl Strayed — the best of which was compiled for the book Tiny Beautiful Things – is COMING BACK in podcast form. I am seriously so excited. This is the best news I’ve heard in eons. Hosted by Cheryl and her Rumpus editor (and the original, albeit briefly, author of the column) Steve Almond, the debut episode will air on December 15. That’s next week!!! For now, they’ve posted an introduction, explaining why they give advice. Listen above. [Soundcloud]

Make It Stop: “My Best Friend Won’t STFU About Her New Boyfriend”

Make It Stop: "My Best Friend Won't STFU About Her New Boyfriend"

My best friend is in a new relationship. I’m really happy for her, but it seems like she ONLY wants to gab about this new fella, who I’ll call Louis. We talk about Louis for—I’m not kidding—hours on end. She doesn’t even ask about how my day’s going, she just talks endlessly about this guy: basically what she loves about him (his wicked sense of humor and kickass bedroom skills) and what she’s hesitant about (his exorbitant student loans, his ex-girlfriend who he swears is “crazy”). Her thoughts on this guy are a faucet that I can’t turn off. These conversations are taking up a lot of my time, which is a problem because between work and school, my free time is at a premium. Louis is sexy! Louis is great! Louis wants to name their (hypothetical children) Clementine and Zachary! That’s all fantastic; but I’d rather be catching up on “Homeland” episodes than hearing about the ins and outs of her new relationship for the millionth time. Please, make it stop!

I understand the rush of finding a new love. You want to scream it from the rooftops: “I found someone who doesn’t suck! Life is good! Now I can one of those people who write #blessed at the end of status updates unironically!” Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “I’ve Never Had A Boyfriend & I’m Rarely Attracted To Anyone”

Make It Stop: "I've Never Had A Boyfriend & I'm Rarely Attracted To Anyone"

I’m 28, and have never have a boyfriend, and I do not find attraction in other people. I won’t say that I *can’t* find attraction in people, because there have been a handful of guys that I’ve fallen head-over-heels for, but of course, those endeavors have never amounted to anything. I get crushes maybe once every three years. Even though I date regularly, it is very rare for me to have “butterflies.” I don’t think of myself has having a wall up, or being too picky, or being “unworthy of love” or any of that. It doesn’t matter how “perfect” the guy is; we’ll date, and we’ll get along great, and I’ll like hanging out with him, but when he goes in for a kiss, I just can’t bring myself to kiss him because I just *don’t want to.* I see all of my friends having relationship after relationship, and finding genuine attraction in the people they date all the time, and here I am unable to feel the slightest attraction toward anyone. Is this weird, or am I just overthinking it? And yes, I’ve explored the possibility that I might be gay, in case that matters. No luck there, either.

It’s hard to give you my opinion because there’s so much I don’t know about you. Do you live in a city, where you see lots of new people all the time? Or do you live in the suburbs where you never meet anyone new? Have you lived in the same place for a long time? Or do you constantly travel? Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “My Classmate Copies All Of My Work And Invades My Personal Space!”

Make It Stop: "My Classmate Copies All Of My Work And Invades My Personal Space!"

I recently returned to school and I am enrolled in an intensive program. I genuinely enjoy working with the other students, except for this one woman I’ll call Lucy.

I was nice to her on the first day because she seemed lost. However, she seems to have some sort of learning disability or other mental issue because she repeatedly asks the same questions in class and doesn’t pick up on basic social cues. She also copies everything I write (my notes, my homework, everything) and invades my personal space to do so. I have politely told her to not copy off of me, to no avail. Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “My Friends’ Social Media Updates Are Making Me Depressed”

Make It Stop: "My Friends' Social Media Updates Are Making Me Depressed"

I feel like a bad friend. My friends seem so successful and I feel like I’m stalling. All I see are updates about marriages, babies, pregnancies, I feel like I can’t keep up. How do I not feel so terrible about it?

Social media is a tool, not a reflection of real life. Like airbrushed models on the cover of “Vogue,” the images and status updates you see posted from friends, family, frenemies and exes are carefully edited to convey a particular narrative. They can be things like, “I’m so in love with my husband!” or “I’m so happy in my new graduate program!” or ““I’m so #blessed!” Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “My Boyfriend Doesn’t Care About Spending Birthdays Or Holidays Together!”

I moved into my boyfriend’s place before we were dating as a stepping stone while I transferred my life from west coast to east coast. Having lived together before we started dating and still living together, our relationship is at an escalated pace, which makes it confusing for me. His birthday is coming up right before Christmas, and when I brought up planning celebrations I was shocked. My boyfriend does not think it is important that I be at his birthday party or that we spend holidays together. He strongly believes that there is no need to spend the holidays away from your own family. I am struggling with this because, I think when you are in a committed relationship, living together and in love, you should spend the holidays together, perhaps alternating whose family you spend the holidays with. Am I expecting too much, or should I cut my losses?

Whew. I need to take a deep breath to unpack this all. Keep reading »

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