Lucca is a little bit jealous of my loom.
I can’t even start to explain why I love weaving so much without first explaining, as best I can, what it feels like to have an ADD brain. While I think I would still love weaving even if I didn’t have attention deficit disorder, its therapeutic and meditative qualities have been a life changer.
I don’t really know what other people’s brains are like, but mine has about 7-10 actual trains of thought going through it at once, and those trains of thought are speed bumping over other smaller thought distractions which appear and then vanish just as quickly as they arrive. Of those 7-10 actual thought strands, only a few of them are actually clear and followable; it’s like my brain is thinking about more than I could possibly keep up with, so the goal is to try really, really hard to focus on just one or two of those things running through my brain, letting the others reduce to a murmur in the background. The popcorn thoughts appear out of nowhere and can throw me off — “MY IM IS GOING OFF,” “OOH CUTE SHOES,” “SQUIRREL!” — and suddenly I’m like, “Ack, what was I thinking about? The layout of my new apartment and where to put all of my furniture? No, no, no, wrong one, Amelia, don’t follow that train of thought now, that’s for later. You were thinking about how to write this essay about your ADD — oh Christ another blinking IM, better click it!” Keep reading »
When people find out I take Adderall for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), they often want to know what that feels like. What makes my brain different from theirs? I have a really hard time answering that question, because A) I have no idea what goes on in their brain and how it compares to what goes on in mine and B) it’s really, really hard to explain. That’s why I’m so in love with this video by filmmaker Ryan Higa, explaining just some of the ways ADHD manifests itself in his life. Even though I know I have ADHD, I was shocked to discover just how many of these behaviors — like, 98 percent of them — are similar to my own, including things I never even realized were my ADHD at work. So THAT’s why I can memorize a phone number easily but then instantly forget it the second I start dialing! From now on, whenever anyone asks what ADHD feels like I’m sending them this video. [Laughing Squid]
According to a recent study at Brigham Young University, Adderall has become increasingly common among college students looking for a boost during finals week and midterms. BYU turned to Twitter to determine how often Adderall was mentioned in students’ social media lives. Among 132,099 unique users, a total of 213,633 tweets mentioned Adderall between November 2011 and May 2012. This peaked during final exams, and were highest in the Northeast and the South. Keep reading »
When I first started taking Adderall, it wasn’t prescribed to me — it was my boyfriend’s. It was 2006, and I had a fun but creatively unfulfilling job at a men’s magazine. On the weekends, I was determined to grow a freelance career that, god willing, would allow me to quit. Freelance writing, especially when you’re starting out, involves a lot of pitching, in particular pitching editors who don’t know you. It’s a lot of coming up with ideas, proposing those ideas, and waiting, hoping and praying, that someone, anyone bites and is willing to pay you a decent sum to write it. To be a successful freelancer writer, you have to be extremely motivated and focused.
I had the motivation. But focus was out of my grasp. I felt stuck literally and mentally. And being stuck make me anxious. Keep reading »
“I wasn’t eating … [I was] going out at night. I guess when you’re not eating you have to distract yourself with other things. Come three o’clock it was like, ‘Oh I suppose it’s acceptable to have a glass of wine.’ And then by four o’clock I would have had four glasses. It’s not the way to be. But then I met Sam and he noticed that behavior. I think it came to a point for him where he was thinking, ‘Can I be with this girl if this is what her life is like? I want to make this work, but I can’t live in this world.’ I just needed someone to tell me … I hang out with models, the biggest pop stars and, you know, really and honestly, I hate saying this, but none of them are achieving those body shapes by being healthy. They’re not just going to the gym two hours a day. They’re not eating or they’re taking speed not to eat. In America everyone abuses that Adderall stuff and people aren’t normal.’”
—Lily Allen talks about getting healthy in Elle UK. While I appreciate Lily’s candor and her embracing of a new lifestyle, I think she’s going to get lambasted for this interview. It reeks of self-righteousness. I’m sure someone in the modeling/music industry will make some counter-statement about how they don’t use drugs or starve themselves to stay thin. Also, American celebrities aren’t normal and all abuse Adderall? Really? What? Is she trying really hard to be controversial or is it a case of not thinking before she speaks? [Celebitchy] Keep reading »