The first thing anyone asks a battered woman is: “Why did you put up with that?” Domestic violence is the only crime I can think of—well, besides rape—where the victim is treated as complicit in her own abuse.
This is why I rarely talk about my two-year relationship with a batterer. I wasn’t a housewife with no resources, I was a teenager and he was my first boyfriend. He beat me, raped me and stalked me. After I escaped, it was years before I told anyone what I’d been through because I was so ashamed. I still avoid the topic with those close to me.
What people don’t understand is that abusers don’t generally punch you in the face on the first date. If they did, nobody would ever go out with them twice. But there are some early warning signs—and as much as you might hate to admit it to yourself, the fact is, even a strong, smart, independent woman can find herself on the wrong end of the fist. Here are some behaviors to watch out for … Keep reading »
People on reality shows of yore have eaten bugs, had catfights over men, and stabbed each other in the back for a chance to work for The Donald.
And now, they beat their girlfriends.
“Abusers” is will be an intervention-style reality show that depicts real-life cases of domestic violence and offers counseling and support for both the abuser and the victim. The show — which appears to be in the proposal stage, as there is no mention of a network having picked it up — will be produced by Albert Harris, Jr., a former aide to ex-New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey. The creative team will include Ashley and Josh from “The Real World: D.C.,” who both experienced domestic violence in their homes. Abusers and victims who participate on “Abusers” will be given free online degree programs through the University of Phoenix.
This could work for TV. It just has to be more “PBS” than “Bravo,” you know what I mean? Keep reading »
When Jesse James sat down for his “Nightline” interview, he had an interesting explanation for why he torpedoed his marriage to Sandra Bullock by cheating with multiple women—he was abused as a child. “[My dad] beat my ass pretty good a bunch of times. I was petrified of my dad … I was a terrorized kid,” he said. “My mind rationalized [cheating], ‘Well, you know, I might as well do whatever I can to like run her off cause she is going to find out what I am anyway and leave me anyway.’”
But Jesse’s dad, Larry James, is taking serious issue with this statement, and he sat down yesterday for an interview with Radar to say that the alleged abuse never happened. “When I watched Jesse on ‘Nightline’ last night, I was disgusted, horrified, and brokenhearted to hear what my son said about me because none of it is true,” he said. Keep reading »
Warning: this clip from a new ABC TV show called “What Would You Do?” is hard to watch, even though I know the “abusive boyfriend” and the “abused girlfriend” are only actors.
On four different occasions, “What Would You Do?” filmed diners at a restaurant watching two “couples” — one white, one black — sit down at a table when the “girlfriend” has obviously just been beat up. In both cases the “girlfriend,” who has cuts on her face and bruises on her arms, is terrified of her “boyfriend” and tells him to stop making a scene in public. Of course, he does not stop making a scene at all and only escalates his anger in front of all the other diners.
Good Samaritan strangers step in to help these abused “girlfriends.” Except when they are dressed provocatively, that is. Keep reading »
A study of data from U.S. National Institute on Mental Health published in the journal Violence Against Women has found that many women who endure physical, sexual and psychological abuse from their male partners see them as “dependable” and even “affectionate.” Researchers from Adelphi University in New York and St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto examined the data — which was on 611 low-income, mostly African-American women from urban areas, with an average age of 35 — and saw 43 percent said they had been abused by an intimate partner within the last year. Of the abused women, 54 percent said their partners were reliable, 44 percent said they were dependable yet abusive, and 38 percent said the men were dependable yet controlling. Only 18 percent — or less than one fifth of the abused women — said their partners were dangerously abusive. According to Time, the authors of the study hope that this insight into the minds of victims of domestic violence will help them help women. Keep reading »