There are dealbreakers and then there are dealbreakers—and a past history of domestic violence is a dealbreaker on a lot of people’s list. Salon.com’s advice columnist, Cary Tennis, fielded a question from a former abuser who’s nervous about telling his new girlfriend he physically abused his ex-wife half a dozen times during their marriage.
After divorcing, “Ex-Abuser,” as he signed his letter, entered therapy and said it helped him “understand my reasons for the abuse, and the effect it had on both my wife and our relationship.” Also after the divorce, he and his ex-wife went to therapy together and “the abuse was addressed and some amount of nascent healing took place.”
Now Ex-Abuser is in a new relationship with a woman he seems to want to spend his life with. Trouble is, he hasn’t told her about his past. Not only is he afraid his new girlfriend will ditch him if she knows, but his ex-wife is threatening to spill the beans herself. And that, obviously, would be bad. Keep reading »
Everyone knows that prescription pills are available to anyone looking for them, if you know how to search online. Not that it’s a legal means—but abusing prescription painkillers isn’t all that lawful to begin with. A year or two ago, we all heard about people buying the no-joke acne medicine, Accutane, online—without a prescription or monthly blood tests to monitor your liver health—and drug abuse took a whole new turn into beauty-land. Now, The Daily Mail is reporting internet pill abuse has hit an all new, um, high, and it’s all in the name of beauty. The fight to be skinnier, prettier and clearer-skinned knows no bounds, apparently. We all know buying anything off the internet or eBay comes with a certain level of danger—you always wonder, is it the real deal? But buying MD Skincare peel pads is way different than purchasing something you actually ingest—right? Keep reading »
Sigh. The Feb. 8th incident when Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna was not the first violent argument between the couple. Before his sentencing yesterday, Brown’s probation officer filed a report revealing the couple was involved in two other incidents “related to domestic violence“—and come to find out, Rihanna has slapped Brown in the past. Obviously that does not make the intensity of his brutal Feb. 8 assault excusable, but it sheds light on how they had a more violent relationship than we previously thought. Keep reading »
I vividly remember walking into the interview. I was a junior in college and had scored a meeting with Joshua Lyon, an editor at Jane Magazine, the publication I’d been dreaming of working for since the first issue had appeared on newsstands and I skipped school to read it cover-to-cover. The interview went well, and an hour later, I got the phone call that he had picked me to be his intern. I was elated.
Josh and I worked together for the next four years. Turns out that, for two of them, he was almost always high on prescription pain killers.
Josh has written a fascinating book, Pill Head, about the whole ordeal. It’s part memoir, and part sociological exploration of why so many people in the United States—48 million of them to be exact—have used prescription pills for non-medical purposes. After the jump, Josh tells us everything from how he got his hands on his first Vicodin to why prescription pain killers are especially popular with the ladies. Oh, and why you owe it to grandma not to try them. Keep reading »
Rihanna may think that she’s back to making sweet music together with her battering boyfriend, but she is sadly mistaken if she thinks he will never hit her again. Men who batter rarely do it once, even if they are rich and famous. So if you’re in a relationship with a guy who has pushed, hit or slapped you once, take it as a warning sign. You can expect him to do it again and again. Keep reading »
More rumors surround the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident! According to The Sun, the LAPD is looking into whether there had been a history of violence between Brown and Rihanna, and one of the incidents they’re checking out is when RiRi suddenly started sporting an eyepatch, saying she had scratched her cornea. The singer wore a silver patch when she performed at the American Music Awards last year, and, at the time, we dubbed it an “injury accessory,” not thinking it could have been related to an actual injury. So, is it possible Rihanna was covering up a black eye? Not really — she took off the patch halfway through her performance and walked the red carpet without it (above right). What’s more likely is that the LAPD just doesn’t understand her over-the-top style. After the jump, watch the video of her American Music Awards performance to see for yourself. [via Socialite Life] Keep reading »
Kids grow up so fast these days. By 3rd grade, I had definitely played pretend bride, but a girl in Yemen was forced to do it for reals. At the bold age of eight, her parents married her off to a man over four times her age. Itâ€™s all fun and games until someone gets raped and beaten. Abandoned, alone, abused, what is a girl to do? Be her own superhero. Nojoud Mohammed Ali (no relation to the fighter) is a champion! After escaping her husbandâ€™s home, she managed to find her way to a courthouse and asked for justice. Thankfully, in court last week, she secured her freedom and is now possibly the worldâ€™s youngest divorcee, but definitely the worldâ€™s bravest baby girl. [ABC News] Keep reading »
Oof, Dear Sugar got a little deep this week. Anonymous posted a “Group Therapy” topic called “My Boyfriend Accidently Hit Me”, asking for advice as to whether she should give him a second chance. To recap the incident: Boyfriend got drunk, passed out in bed. Girlfriend stayed up chatting with brother. Girlfriend tried to go to bed, but couldn’t get any covers. Boyfriend woke up, fight ensued. Brother stepped in, Boyfriend got violent. Girlfriend tried to stop the blows and ended up with “two black eyes and a bloody nose.” Boyfriend has promised to quit drinking and go to therapy. Our opinion is that two black eyes and a bloody nose aren’t usually “accidental”. Sayonara, loser! [Dear Sugar] Keep reading »