Tag Archives: abuse

Life After Dating: Moving On From The Past

Life After Dating: Moving On From The Past

Yesterday, while I was getting ready to go to CostCo with my boyfriend, Michael, I told him a story a friend had told me about how much her dad hated her grandfather. I said, “I wonder what it’s like to have parents who you really deep-down hate.” Then I paused and thought about it, and said, “Well, I hated my in-laws.”

And for the first time in the last two years, I felt a sudden and very real sense of dissonance in saying that. I felt too young to say something like “I hated my in-laws,” in the past tense; as in, I had in-laws. As in, in my life, I have had in-laws, but now, I do not have in-laws. Keep reading »

Woman Dies Shielding Baby Daughter From Violent Boyfriend

Jessica Arrendale

This is an utterly tragic story. Jessica Arrendale, an Atlanta area mom, died shielding her six-month-old daughter Cobie’s body from Cobie’s violent father. The 37-year-old was shot in the head and managed to maneuver her body over the baby to prevent her from facing the same fate. Arrendale and Cobie’s father, 30-year-old Antoine Davis, had been out together on the night of September 13, and when they arrived home he became violent. With Cobie in her arms, Arrendale tried to fend him off with a baseball bat. Davis eventually snatched the bat from her, hitting her with it and chasing her until she locked herself and Cobie into an upstairs bathroom. Davis, a former Marine and Iraq War vet, grabbed an assault rifle with a silencer and broke down the door, shooting Arrendale in the head. Arrendale placed little Cobie in the open toilet bowl and then laid over her daughter before dying. Arrendale’s mother, Teresa Inniello, told WSB Radio, “He shot her and [the police] don’t know how she was able to twist her body and fall literally in the opposite direction.” What she did was nothing short of miraculous. It’s believed by authorities that Davis would’ve killed Cobie too had she not been hidden. Instead, he walked into his daughter’s bedroom and fatally shot himself. Arrendale leaves behind both Cobie and a 15-year-old daughter named Naomi who’d been living with Inniello. Keep reading »

What To Do When Someone You Love Stays In An Abusive Relationship

What To Do When Someone You Love Stays In An Abusive Relationship
"I Married My Abuser"
bride 090914
Some insight into why abuse victims stay in violent relationships. Read More »

I’ll try to write about this with as little abject fury as possible. Yesterday morning, my Facebook feed was full of sympathetic posts about Janay Rice, some good burgeoning conversations about domestic violence and how it’s been swept under the rug and normalized by our culture — but by the afternoon more than half the conversations I saw centered around statements like “What, was she stupid?” or “Anyone with half a brain knows how a MAN should act” or “If she’s going to stay, she’s bringing it on herself.”

Did the Hulk do diaphragmatic breathing or something? What were his methods? I need to know. Keep reading »

20 Powerful #WhyIStayed And #WhyILeft Tweets From Twitter’s Domestic Violence Conversation

20 Powerful #WhyIStayed And #WhyILeft Tweets From Twitter's Domestic Violence Conversation

Yesterday, after TMZ released video footage of Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice brutally attacking his then-fiance Janay Palmer, Rice was cut from the team by the NFL. Instead of sympathy or concern, Janay has mostly been the target of criticism, in particular for marrying her abuser and/or somehow inciting the violence in the first place. Writer Beverly Gooden grew fed up with the victim-blaming nonsense she saw on her Twitter feed, and decided to share her own story of abuse. Gooden told Mic, ”When I saw those tweets, my first reaction was shame. The same shame that I felt back when I was in a violent marriage. It’s a sort of guilt that would make me crawl into a shell and remain silent. But today, for a reason I can’t explain, I’d had enough. I knew I had an answer to everyone’s question of why victims of violence stay. I can’t speak for Janay Rice, I can only speak for me…I want people to know that they have a voice! That they have the power. That’s so critical, that survivors feel empowered.” Keep reading »

This Domestic Gun Violence PSA Is Hard To Watch, But It’s So Important

Gun Violence
A Brutal Reality

When gun violence is addressed, the first thing that comes to mind are horrific mass shootings, but one of the most common victims of gun violence are women with abusive partners. Abused women are five times more likely to be murdered by their abuser if the abuser owns a gun, and more than half of all women murdered by guns in the US are killed by their partners. The nonprofit Everytown put together this powerful ad in support of the Protecting Domestic Violence and Stalking Victims Act, which would prevent domestic abusers and stalkers from being able to get a gun. It’s hard to think of scenes like this as a reality, but they will continue to happen every day until policy changes are in place to better protect women. Think before pressing play, because it’s a bit disturbing. [Smart Gun Laws, Everytown]

This Is How A Domestic Violence Victim Falls Through The Cracks

Laura Aceves photographed in 2009

Berryville, Arkansas — Two days before she died, Laura Aceves stood on the side of the road and frantically dialed the police for the last time.

It was early afternoon and the 21-year-old had finished her shift at the Berryville Tyson Foods plant, where she worked on an assembly line deboning chicken. Moments after pulling out of the parking lot, her car broke down. At the nearest service station, a mechanic identified the problem: Someone had poured bleach in her gas tank. Read more on Huffington Post…

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