Here’s something we didn’t expect: a pro-abstinence Nicki Minaj parody called “Super Grace”! It’s based on “Super Bass” and the Bible, and Jesus Christ himself gets thanked in the comments. Future civilizations will no doubt pour over lyrics like “He’s waiting for the band / He’ll just hold my hand … I want to be a wife but I must wait / oh no no no no / I have to wait / Christian boys got my heartbeat running away” wondering what they mean.
While “Super Grace” is certainly better than any youth group project I ever did, I almost hate telling these youngsters — whoopsies! — abstinence-only sex ed doesn’t actually work. [Popdust
First Judd Apatow produced “Bridesmaids,” a decidedly girly movie co-written by Kristen Wiig. And now, it looks like others are interested in taking the Apatowian sense of humor—gross-out comedy, adults in arrested adolescence—and transplant it to an unexpected demographic. And thus, we have “The Waiting Game,” a pro-abstinence flick for the Christian set. In other words, it’s a “sexless comedy about sex.” The flick will star Candace Cameron and it even has a cameo by Ted Haggard, the pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado who was brought down after it was revealed he paid a gay masseuse for sex. Keep reading »
Forget about comprehensive sex ed. The best way to keep girls off “16 & Pregnant” is with pro-abstinence panties and T-shirts bearing slogans like “Zip It,” “Not Tonight” and “Dream On” sold on a site called What Would Your Mother Do?. According to WWYMD:
We created a line of underwear to use as conversation starters to help reinforce family morals as they relate to relationships and dating. One part Victorian, three parts frisky, these adorable undies put new meaning to saying it loud and proud.”
At last someone has realized that the first thing teen boys do after taking off a girl’s pants is read the slogan on her underwear. [What Would Your Mother Do? via Ms. Magazine] Keep reading »
I grew up in a small town. It was in the “heartland”– the middle of the country, yet everyone had twangy Southern accents. The town didn’t have much money or restaurants or people. But we did have churches. Churches in pole-barns, churches whose congregations were made up of only one family, churches in the hills with members who spoke in tongues and fancy churches with stained glass that told you to vote for George Bush.
All through my youth, I probably would have said I was a Christian. It was just the default. My parents did take me to church when I was little, I grabbed from the tin of sugar-cookies and drank dixie cups of watery Kool-Aid, but I had somehow remained a bit feral. Keep reading »
“To give [anti-abortion] campaigners more time to enjoy life instead of making stunt videos that have no point, here is a cut-out-and-keep list on how to stop women having sex, guaranteed:
- Chop off genitals at birth. They can have them reattached at their heterosexual
wedding, in between the cake and the throwing of the bouquet.
- Force all teenagers to watch their parents having sex. Effective, although there is a risk they will never have sex again and the human race will die out.
- Rearrange human biology so that it’s men who get pregnant. It might not end verboten sexual relations, but it will probably put an end to old white guys trying to ban abortion and targeting the most vulnerable women, from rape victims to the needy poor, in the worst circumstances.
— British journalist Hadley Freeman‘s tounge-in-cheek suggestions for better ways that anti-abortion extremist groups like Live Action can use their time rather than playing “gotcha!” with Planned Parenthood by secretly videotaping them in stunt videos with fake pimps and prostitutes. Hadley suggests, quite rightly, that as much as some anti-abortion extremists are against abortion, they seem to just be plain against women having non-procreative sex, period. I recommend her whole article; it’s a good read! [Guardian UK] Keep reading »
I gotta say, as a non-Christian who practices excessive amounts of pre-marital sex (well, at least before the sabbatical), I kinda like this pro-abstinence take on Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” The lyrics don’t roll off the tongue as easily as in the original, but I gotta give props to these gals for using such a popular song to spread their message. I love a music video with a story line, especially one acted with such skill. Babe. [BuzzFeed
] Keep reading »
I wanted to be excited that Kim Zolciak’s 13-year-old daughter Brielle actually asked her mom for a purity ring on the latest episode of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” but the whole thing fell apart for me when she started negotiating her abstinence expiration date. 18? 19? 20? I don’t know a whole lot about abstinence rings (or abstinence), but I was under the impression that wearing one meant you were saving yourself for marriage, not for college. So just to recap, Brielle got a $3,000 diamond ring to keep her hymen intact until college. And Kim thinks this is brilliant. Am I missing something here? Do purity rings expire whenever you want them to? And … what the hell is Kim wearing? Please help me understand. Keep reading »