Abstinence-only education starts with the idea that teenagers listen to adults and manages to get even stupider. It’s working to turn the only life-threatening problem in the world that can be fought by balloons into a biblical plague. We’ve reached a point where even the Pope OKs some condom use, and he thinks about sex the same way non-Popes think of the Ark of the Covenant: imagining what the other side has while believing that looking directly at it will melt the soul from your body.
Abstinence-only education turns sex education into an oxymoron, deliberately not teaching people things we know about. It’s what happens when a species breeds so successfully, they start showing off. It’s the reproductive equivalent of riding a bike with no hands and eyes closed: They’ll keep pumping away for a bit, but pretty soon they’ll screw up and their crotch will hurt. The only way to teach something so stupid is to be extremely stupid, and that’s the only thing these campaigns got right. Read more…
When it comes to teen pregnancy, Mississippi has the highest rate in the nation. The state has 55 births per 1,000 girls ages 15 to 19 — a whopping 60 percent above the national average, according to the Centers for Disease Control. And it is not too difficult to see the culprit: abstinence-only sex education dominates the state and schools are only allowed to teach, you know, birth control if they got special permission. Keep reading »
What the rest of us call “cohabitation,” or in some circles “living in sin,” the Palin family calls a “trial marriage.”
That’s exactly what abstinence-promoter Bristol Palin and her boyfriend, 21-year-old Gino Paoletti, are doing in a home she purchased in Wasilla. “Bristol and Gino are crazy about each other,” a source told The National Enquirer. “They’ve talked about getting married, but they think it’s a good idea to get a feel for living together before making it official.” They’ll be sleeping in separate bedrooms, I trust? Keep reading »
When I tell people that once, when I was in 7th grade Sunday school class, I was shown a video starring Kirk Cameron and his wife Chelsea Noble that illustrated the dangers of sex with laughing carnival workers and evil clowns, they don’t believe me. Well, here it is (presented in three parts, after the jump).
Every time I see Kirk Cameron — especially now, speaking out about how homosexuality is “unnatural” and “detrimental” — I think of my 13-year-old self sitting in a dark classroom, terrified, watching the 1993 Focus on the Family abstinence-only “educational presentation” called “Sex, Lies & … The Truth.” The beginning of the film isn’t subtle: Shots of Kirk and Chelsea talking about delaying sex until marriage are interwoven with warped shots of haggard carnival workers laughing maniacally; close-ups of antiquated games, a cackling clown, and menacing rides; and a frightening-looking roller coaster in motion, camera placed firmly at the front car’s helm. “I think it’s real easy sometimes to look at life like it’s just this great ride or it’s just this awesome game, and you’re out to have as much fun as you can,” Kirk begins. Keep reading »
Here’s something we didn’t expect: a pro-abstinence Nicki Minaj parody called “Super Grace”! It’s based on “Super Bass” and the Bible, and Jesus Christ himself gets thanked in the comments. Future civilizations will no doubt pour over lyrics like “He’s waiting for the band / He’ll just hold my hand … I want to be a wife but I must wait / oh no no no no / I have to wait / Christian boys got my heartbeat running away” wondering what they mean.
While “Super Grace” is certainly better than any youth group project I ever did, I almost hate telling these youngsters — whoopsies! — abstinence-only sex ed doesn’t actually work. [Popdust
First Judd Apatow produced “Bridesmaids,” a decidedly girly movie co-written by Kristen Wiig. And now, it looks like others are interested in taking the Apatowian sense of humor—gross-out comedy, adults in arrested adolescence—and transplant it to an unexpected demographic. And thus, we have “The Waiting Game,” a pro-abstinence flick for the Christian set. In other words, it’s a “sexless comedy about sex.” The flick will star Candace Cameron and it even has a cameo by Ted Haggard, the pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado who was brought down after it was revealed he paid a gay masseuse for sex. Keep reading »
Forget about comprehensive sex ed. The best way to keep girls off “16 & Pregnant” is with pro-abstinence panties and T-shirts bearing slogans like “Zip It,” “Not Tonight” and “Dream On” sold on a site called What Would Your Mother Do?. According to WWYMD:
We created a line of underwear to use as conversation starters to help reinforce family morals as they relate to relationships and dating. One part Victorian, three parts frisky, these adorable undies put new meaning to saying it loud and proud.”
At last someone has realized that the first thing teen boys do after taking off a girl’s pants is read the slogan on her underwear. [What Would Your Mother Do? via Ms. Magazine] Keep reading »