Oh, my Girl Scout years. Swabbing each other’s cervixes. Examining each other’s breasts for strange lumps. Aborting each other’s unborn children. Those were the days!
Well, not anymore. Thanks, Rep. Bob Morris of Fort Wayne, Indiana, for blowing the lid off our cover: Girl Scout troops were once able to perform pelvic exams and prescribe herpes medication in peace, but now the groups have been outed as “a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood” by Rep. Morris. How did Rep. Morris learn all our secrets? From Googling, of course! (Or as he put it, “a small amount of web-based research.” Rather small, I should say.) As we all know everything you read on on the Internet is true, Rep. Morris was fully in the right to inform his fellow Republican colleagues in a letter on Sunday that he refused to support a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because it encourages sex and promotes homosexuality.
Damn. And they were hiding it so well. [NY Daily News]
Last night on “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart was freaking hilarious in his coverage of last week’s anti-birth control sausagefest in Congress, in which a panel of all dudes tried to argue against President Obama’s health care reform compromise. Did you know these men mentioned “spiritual rape,” whatever that is, and Josef Stalin? When you have to invoke Stalin (or Hitler, or Mussolini, although let’s be honest, no one invokes Mussolini) into an argument to get people on board, you know you’re reaching. [The Daily Show]
One of the scariest anti-abortion bills in the U.S. right now is Virgina’s “mandatory ultrasound” bill, which requires a woman seeking an abortion to be vaginally penetrated with a speculum and ultrasound probe. The doctor operating the transvaginal ultrasound will then reflect that image onscreen; women will be forced to undergo this procedure to have an abortion even if they don’t want it. There is absolutely no medical reason to do a transvaginal ultrasound before an abortion, the bill doesn’t provide any exceptions for victims of rape or incest, and opponents of the bill have pointed out that it is, oh, you know, mandating doctors to sexual assault their patients.
Nevertheless, that scary bill passed Virginia’s House of Delegates last week. Now one politician, Delegate David Englin, a Democrat, is trying to draw attention to the fact that if abortion providers are required to probe women with transvaginal ultrasounds against their will, ultimately these doctors will be punishable under VA’s “object sexual penetration statute.” Keep reading »
The only good part about Republican politicians and their “Occupy Your Uterus” campaign is that it’s terrific fodder for political cartoonists. Case in point: cartoonist Matt Bors (who draws for places like the LA Times and the Village Voice) has doodled a bunch of pro-choice cartoons that actually made me chuckle about the day when us unwed wenches will have our hymens checked by the village wizard. Ugh, you’re the worst, Rick Santorum. [MattBors.com]
All abortions would be classified as feticides, a class A felony punishable by life imprisonment without chance for parole, under a new bill introduced on Wednesday by Iowa State Representative Kim Pearson, a Tea Party Republican. Pearson’s bill states:
Any person who intentionally terminates a human pregnancy, with the knowledge and consent of the pregnant person, where death of the fetus results, commits feticide. Feticide is a class A felony.
Under the bill, doctors who perform abortions could spend life in prison and doctors who attempt to perform an abortion (but don’t go through with it, for some unclear reason) would be charged with the class B felony of 25 years in prison. Keep reading »