I stopped watching “True Blood” last season because the things I liked (Eric, Eric’s bare ass, Lafayette, Pam) were failing to make up for the things I didn’t like (Sookie, Bill, Sookie’s DERP face, Sam, Alcide speaking). Summer TV blows, though, so I decided to give the show another shot since it’s its last season — and boy, am I glad I did. I guess while I wasn’t watching last season, vampire Eric gave some of his blood to Jason Stackhouse, which explains why the latter has the world’s hottest sex dream about the former on last night’s episode. Can we please get more of this? Like, every episode? Perhaps instead of any scenes featuring Sookie and Bill? Let’s have “True Blood” go out in an explosion of hot gay sex, mmkay? Because this shit was hooooootttttttt (and a tiny bit awkward, but mostly hoooooootttttt).
Like that troublesome ex-boyfriend that you sleep with once a year, just in the summer when it’s steamy out and you’re peak tan, “True Blood” is back for its final season, and things sure look interesting! The series has had its peaks and valleys, but as of late has grown into an unwieldy beast, plucking storylines out of thin air and weaving them together with dental floss, spit and gumption. This season looks to make a return to its roots, with a good, old-fashioned showdown between good and evil.
If you can’t remember what happened in season six, here’s a brief recap: Terry died. Luna died. The terrible governor of Louisiana died, but not before he made an underground vampire concentration camp where he was performing medical tests and torture on vampires. The world’s supply of TruBlood has been infected with Hepatitis V, a horrible disease that causes vampires to die a slow, melty, gooey death. Sookie met Warlow , the bad vampire/faerie that killed her family, fell in love with him, almost married him, and then realized that he was shitty after all, so Jason killed him. Bill became a new super-vampire, drinking the essence of Lilith, and actually isn’t that bad anymore. And the last time we saw Eric, he was nude and on fire on a glacier in Sweden. Check out our hopes and dreams for the citizens of Bon Temps, after the jump, and don’t forget to watch the season premiere tonight on HBO! Keep reading »
Activities are wonderful, but sometimes, it’s fine to want to shut the world out for a couple of days, and make some serious time for you. Don’t be afraid of FOMO, either. There will always be another party, another pub crawl, another picnic. The time you’ll spend indulging in the things you want to do, alone, are well worth it. Here’s a handy list of awesome things to do this weekend!
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Last week, the girls of College Humor had a “boner” to pick with HBO about their lack of dongs. Whether they show them “in between the boobs” or on their own, they plead with the network to show us “an inch of grade A man meat” for every pair of breasts. A fair request. The good news is that the “True Blood” season six finale delivered some dong. Sure, it was a blink-and-you-miss-it glimpse of Alexander Skarsgard’s flaccid, flaming penis. But still, with the magic of slow mo, we saw it in all of its uncircumcised glory. It’s a step in the right direction. Click through for a SFW retrospective of all the love sticks we’ve seen on HBO. [Beasts of Man]
Click here for NSFW version.
“True Blood” has trekked down a kind of questionable road with the whole comparing the persecution of vampires to what happened to African-Americas in this country and the Jews during the Holocaust. But I’m still half watching the show, mostly for the chance of seeing Alexander Skarsgard and Joe Manganiello naked. Last night’s episode was low on nudity — boo! — but lordy, did my ears perk up during this first scene, in which Eric threatens a young woman named Willa with some, um, very suggestive dirty talk. Clip above!
I fell off the “True Blood” bandwagon midway through the last season, when the whole Lilith and PTSD plot lines became seemingly more important than showing Alexander Skarsgard naked as often as possible. Last night, I made myself watch the season premiere, and while I was drawn in by Bill Compton’s super vamp powers (will he be less annoying now?!), I still think I am going to limit my “recaps” to showing you just the NSFW moments.
So, with that in mind, watch as sexy Alcide (Joe Manganiello) finds himself celebrating his new role as wolf pack leader with not one but two naked ladies. Nice start to the season, HBO. Props.