Tag Archives: spencer pratt

All Hail King Spencer Pratt!

Bow down before Spencer Pratt, women! Last year, the former star of “The Hills,” all-around nutcase, and crystal devotee declared he would be legally adding “King” to his name, and his internet home at KingSpencer.com (I felt slightly ill just writing that) certainly suggests the megalomaniac is reaching new heights in his megalomania. The King of Absurdistan has tweeted that he’s going to start his own “PAP” (read: paparazzi) agency: “anyone tweet me any celebrity sitings I’m starting my own PAP agency! I will pay for good tips if they get me the photo hahaha.” Ah, I love a literate man. But it wasn’t until this past weekend (OK, it was a slow weekend, what can I say?) that I actually visited KingSpencer.com! Which features this awesome image of King Spencer. I don’t know why they didn’t Photoshop the crown right on his head. I hope it launches soon. Keep reading »

We Need A New Insult For Spencer Pratt, Stat!

While I don’t think he understands how douche actually upsets the natural pH balance in a woman’s vagina, he still has managed to find a hidden compliment in being called a “douche.” [Twitter] Keep reading »

Cougar Zank: 5 Things You Need To Know Heidi Montag’s New Press Tool

If you are still interested in the Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt circus, then you probably have heard the name Cougar Zank. “The Coog,” as I am now calling him, is rumored to be Heidi’s first new man after maybe splitting with Spencer. Spencer is certain that his wife and Zank are shacking up together, and that they possibly started their relationship before Heidi and Spencer separated. It is hard to say how truthful the rumors of the new fling are when all of Speidi’s life choices are carefully calculated to get the most press. Regardless, it seems that Zank has agreed to be the new pawn in their wacko web. This means you should probably know a little bit about him, because it looks like The Coog is sticking around. Keep reading »

What Should Spencer Pratt Do For Money Now That Heidi Montag Is Gone?

OK, so maybe we were a little quick to assume that Heidi Montag leaving Spencer Pratt was a lame publicity stunt. Apparently, Heidi has filed actual legal separation papers. This isn’t a divorce, but one big thing it does is make Heidi’s earnings her own. This is a big deal because “The Hills” is dunzo after this season, and Spencer just received his final check for the show. Meanwhile, Heidi has a while new spin-off show starting with Jen Bunney, and Spencer won’t make a thing for it. It’s hard to feel too bad for him because his “Hills” check is for a whopping $675,000, but sources say that that’s nothing to Spencer. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Spencer goes postal now,” a source said. “The way that kid blows through cash, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s broke by the end of July.” [Radar Online]

So what can Spencer do to make money now? Some job ideas after the jump. Keep reading »

Quickies: Heidi Montag Filed For Legal Separation & Kristen Stewart Called A Lesbian

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Heidi And Spencer Split! 10 Ideas For How Heidi Can Become Human Again

Ding dong, Spencer Pratt‘s dead! It’s even better than when the Wicked Witch of the West melted. Let’s all rejoice that Heidi Montag may be leaving this douchebag once and for all! Heidi’s rep has confirmed that the couple is separating, but not divorcing, calling this period in their relationship a “hiccup.” Sounds like more than a hiccup to me. So why is she leaving? Sources say that Heidi loves Spencer but has lost contact with her friends and family and started to realize what she was missing. Ya think? I wonder what took her so long to come to this particular epiphany and too bad it took a back scooping to get there. Let’s hope that this split is for real and not just an elaborate ploy for her new reality show with Jen Bunney, an occasional character on “The Hills.” Heidi is moving in with the aspiring doctor [Wait, seriously? She's an "aspiring doctor"? -- Editor Amelia] for the summer while the cameras roll, to see if she will choose to be a single lady or get back together with her svengali. Please let her have filed divorce papers by the end of August! [Us Weekly]

After the jump, suggestions for how Heidi can become a normal human being now that Spencer is out of the picture. Keep reading »

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