You hate “Twilight,” right? Just seeing those stupid promotional posters hanging in the movie theatre where you went to see something super-intellectual like, oh, I don’t know, fucking “Argo” or something, gives you an innate visceral malaise. Well, you know who hates it more? Robert Pattinson. You know, the star of the whole damn thing? Yeah, well, he hates “Twilight.” He is sick to death of “Twilight.” Coincidentally, he would also like to break the hands and mouth of whoever coined the name “R. Pattz.” And he hates his life. And you absolutely must see R. Pattz Hates His Life, a Tumblr full of GIFs that demonstrate just how much Rob hates his life. And “Twilight.” He’s out of his mind and it is fantastic. That Kristen Stewart is a lucky girl. Livin’ the dream of all weirdos everywhere. [Robert Pattinson Hates His Life]
“I would put [the sex scene] the last day of the schedule, [and] say, ‘Listen, I’ve got to have a closed set. It’s really, really important. No one can see the monitors or anything,’ and then just put like a walrus in or something.”
–Robert Pattinson responds to a question from BBC Radio 1 about what he would do if he were the director of “Twilight: Breaking Dawn.” Yep, he would use his new-found authority to add a walrus to the sex scenes. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we love Robert Pattinson. [People]
At this point I just feel bad for Kristen Stewart. This was awkward as all hell. During the world premiere of “Breaking Dawn – Part 2,” Kristen was game and sat down with Ariana Grande to answer questions she picked out of fish bowl. Bad, bad idea. What do you think all the questions had to do with?
The first read: “Taylor Swift writes a lot of break-up songs. Is the guy always to blame for heartbreak?” and Kristen quickly scrunched the paper up and replied, “Nah, come on now”. Good sport Kristen. Good sport. Now MOVE ON. But she doesn’t. Ariana gets her to pick out another question and, damn, if it isn’t any better than the first. Read more…
“Breaking Dawn: Part 2,” the final installment in the “Twilight” saga, premiered last night, and everything seems to be going just swimmingly: Rob and Kristen posed arm in arm, Kristen’s overall demeanor closely resembled mine when I get blood drawn except way more naked, and there were tons of randos and a few dogs. Awesome! Let’s check out some photos from the event, shall we?
“I was so surprised [by the ending of 'Marley & Me'] that I was devastated. It was awful. I never want to see it again. I can’t take it. I hate people but I love dogs.”
― You and me both, Robert Pattinson, you and me both. It’s quotes like these that reinforce the ever-humiliating, seriously out-of-character notion that, for all my love of alterna-boys, old Sparkles kinda does it for me. Sure, his hair could use a really good scrubbing, but he’s so very charming in interviews, and I love that he’s clearly in favor of rocking bizarrely patterned (and, duh, awesome) shirts on the red carpet during Very Serious “Twilight” Times. I’m calling it now: Kristen Stewart will be wearing this one to the airport in, like, two weeks. Tops. [Celebitchy]