R. Kelly is one of the most successful R&B artists of our time. He’s sold 54 million records globally, had a career that spans three decades and penned classic records that have provided the soundtrack for some of our best moments.
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The American Music Awards are basically the poor man’s poor man Grammy Awards — worse than the Billboard Awards but arguably better than the People’s Choice Awards. If you missed the festivities, because you were traveling for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, or watching “The Walking Dead” or football, or clipping your toenails, NOT TO WORRY — I watched and will recap every single moment I remember (after four hours of sleep and some lukewarm coffee) in GIFs and video clips! Check it, after the jump… Keep reading »
R. Kelly is the master of the bump-and-grind. With songs like “Sex Planet,” “Sex Weed,” “Sex Me,” “I Like The Crotch On You,” and “Feelin’ On Yo Booty,” Kelly has made it his mission to provide the soundtrack to the world’s lovemaking. And he can write those ooey-gooey, pervy jams on the fly too! When R. Kelly stopped by Rolling Stone‘s offices earlier this week, he was asked to write four sexy songs about four randomly chosen topics and, well, he hit a home run. Watch above! [Rolling Stone]
Lady Gaga was a solid host of last night’s “Saturday Night Live,” delivering a cheeky musical-inspired opening monologue and nailing her role in nearly every sketch. I especially enjoyed her portrayal of a frumpy Apple store employee appearing as a guest on “Wake Up With Kimye” (a show I wish was real because I would totally watch it). But Gaga really brought the LOLZ when she was joined onstage by R. Kelly to perform their song “Do What U Want,” which involved the two singers, like, simulating really awkward sex. The dry humping! The pushups! The fumbling ass slapping! This is the strangest sexual encounter R. Kelly’s had since, well, you know.
On one hand, Lady Gaga singing “do what you want to my body” to R. Kelly, of all people, is disturbingly hilarious in that the self-described “Pied Piper of R&B” has a prior history of doing some pretty, um, icky things — is a golden shower really what you want, Gaga? On the other hand, the song itself is fantastic and indicates that perhaps Gaga’s upcoming ARTPOP record will be much better than the silly Jeff Koons cover art led us to believe. Fingers crossed!
Is it my birthday? No seriously, is it my birthday? How else can you explain someone creating such a perfect masterpiece of all the things I’m interested in? The only thing that’s missing from this extremely comprehensive video of the cast of “Breaking Bad” doing R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” is maybe a basket of kittens eating a pizza. If you don’t want to see Jesse Pinkman utter “bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce,” I don’t want to know you. [YouTube]
Question: Is there any occasion in which R. Kelly joining some band on stage to perform “Ignition (Remix)” doesn’t lead the internet to explode with a chorus of “OMGBESTTHINGEVERRR!!!”? I think not. And R. Kelly getting on stage with Phoenix at this weekend’s Coachella Musical Festival is no exception. Above, Kelly and the band attack “Ignition” remixed with “1901″ and “I’m A Flirt.” Not gonna lie, I died a little inside.
“We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and–perhaps most importantly–that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.”
––This is the actual text of a petition to the Obama Administration to change the national anthem to R. Kelly’s 2003 hit “Ignition (Remix).” Only 95,000 more signatures are needed to guarantee an official response from the White House. Let’s do this. [Whitehouse via Buzzfeed]
The Swedish insurance company Folksam asked their customers what they’d like to see in a commercial. The insurance market is flooded with geckos and singing weirdos and all kinds of distractions, after all. One customer, Eva, wanted to see cats skydiving. To R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly.” So the company took her suggestion very literally and made a commercial — a genius commercial — featuring just that!
I’m a tiny bit obsessed with R. Kelly, for a number of reasons. One of them: His epic “Trapped in the Closet” 32-part song and video masterpiece. R. Kelly said that it was like he had made up a whole new genre of music and entertainment, because it was telling a story with words and music. Noooooooooow, just think about that for a minute. Also, he is the guy responsible for bringing the phrase “real talk” into the modern vernacular, so extra credit for that, too. Plus, he’s just clearly so out of his megalomaniacal and bonkers mind. How can you not totally love this dude?
His new autobiography, Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me, is a rollicking ride, to be sure. Which is why it needed a very special person to recite it on “Jimmy Kimmel” this week. Someone like… Keep reading »