No matter how old you are, it must suck to find out your parents are getting divorced. And it must suck even more for Radar Online to get a hold of your parents’ divorce papers, and reveal that part of the reason for said divorce is because your dad was arrested in a massage parlor in Utah, allegedly soliciting a prostitute. This is exactly what has just happened to “American Idol” season seven contestant David Archuleta. We feel terrible for him that this is now public knowledge. [Popeater]

It seems like we always get a little too much information when divorce papers get leaked. Here are a few of the dooziest.

Amelia thought the “Twilight” fans who paid a visit to “The Today Show” were nuts. Little did she know how crazy fans can become… Taken during the finale of this year’s “American Idol,” the above video features a group of nutso tween David Archuleta fans. I don’t approve of their hysteria, but at least Archuleta is a real person, unlike Edward Cullen. [Videogum—thanks, Nathan!]

MUSIC

• Taylor Swift Fearless A few 18-year-olds are releasing records today, but she’s already been on the Billboard charts. Taylor’s new country album is about love, so I guess the title, “Fearless,” is appropriate.  But I’m more excited to see what she’s planning on doing with Def Leopard.

WHAT was Randy wearing on last night’s season finale of American Idol. So fashion forward (or classic?) to sport a red blazer with a white border and an ascot?!?! And I feel like I may have missed something by turning on my TV a bit late, but why are the Davids wearing matching outfits? Well, except for David Cook’s interesting choice of accessories. That necklace and pocket scarf really added something. At least Paula had some wise words for the two: “Sometimes we think it’s all about winning, but it’s the things sometimes that we lose that reminds us how truly special we are as people.” Deep.

The battle of the vocal chords will come to an end soon, and either David Cook or David Archuleta will be named our American Idol. But we’re more concerned in what you think about their looks than whether you like their music.

On American Idol this week, David Archuleta sang Chris Brown’s “With You.” David sucked, but because he swayed back and forth without speck of dancing ability, he reminded me just how great Chris Brown is. (No, I am not saying this simply because I think Rihanna is fabulous and the two of them are clearly together.) As you can see on the June cover of Ebony, Chris has filled out nicely. And by filled out, I mean developed ridiculous muscles. Also, Chris has moves we ain’t never seen—according to a video on Ebony.com, Chris took gymnastics for four years. Hot. Keep reading to see behind-the-scenes footage from the Ebony photo shoot where Chris isn’t wearing a shirt. [Ebony.com]

I’m so over these fools on American Idol, especially that cheeseball David Archuleta. The kid had the gall to sing Chris Brown’s awesome song “With You” on the show last night. No one made him sing it—he chose it. And it was awful, because a lily white dork like David should not be singing about “my boo”.