“There is never a personal-life connection between my characters and myself. I’m a professional and I can access what I need to access, so there’s no bleed-over. I didn’t need to believe in aliens to play Mulder. As for my personal life, everything is fantastic right now.”

—David Duchovny denies how his treatment for sex addiction at all helps him play a womanizer on “Californication” [The Daily Beast]

Sorry, Grandma. Sunday night, I will be leaving your place early on Yom Kippur to rush home and watch David Duchovny slut it up. “Californication“‘s third season premieres at 10 p.m. (EST) and I will be locked, loaded (on Manischewitz, natch), and glued to the boob tube. Here are five reasons why you shouldn’t miss it either.

For the past few months, it’s been all reality, all the time. Then two weeks ago, the CW showed up to get you addicted to their newest trashtastic shows. Now, the major networks are stepping up to the plate with their new fall offerings. Our picks: “The Good Wife,” “Cougar Town,” and “FlashForward.” And we’re pretty pumped for the return of “How I Met Your Mother” and “Californication” too. Happy Tivo-ing.

Soft-core porn used to be reserved for pay-per-view channels like Skin-imax, but now it’s all over the boob tube!  And it’s not Lifetime movie-esque storylines with wives in floral print dresses waiting for their husbands to feel them up so, so gently you can hardly tell what they’re doing is a sex act. Lucky for me and all you pervs out there, TV has gotten so meaty. Yeah, baby, we like it raw! Here are the top shows to watch, if you want to see some gratuitous soft-core sex scenes…

At first, when we found out David Duchovny had checked himself into rehab for sex addiction, we were like, “Damn, that’s kind of hot.” But that was naive. After researching sexual addiction—earlier Susannah Breslin discussed how many think the affliction is a myth—we’re feeling some serious sympathy for his wife of eleven years, actress Tea Leoni. It seems that David’s not just acting sex-crazed on his Showtime series. But how can sex, a natural bodily function, become a disease making headlines? The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” Just like drugs and alcohol, some people feel they’re abusing sex and themselves to get a high. But as Breslin points out, even doctors can’t decide if sexual addiction is a real condition or merely a symptom of a larger problem that goes beyond sex. Either way, it’s reeking havoc and wrecking homes. So how can you tell if your man is a slave to his wee man?  Seven signs, after the jump…

Last night on “Californication” (spoiler alert!), Hank Moody went out with his best friend’s ex. And she was not just any ol’ ex—according to his BFF Lew, she’s the girl that got away. But on that very same night, Lew snuck out on a date with Hank’s ex-wife. Scandalous! Well, (cough), you know, it happens. Back in high school I dated two best friends, one right after the other. What can I say, they were both damn sexy study hall tutors! And honestly, who wouldn’t say yes to getting felt up in the library?! But in the end, the boys dumped me to save their friendship. I’m kind of convinced that faux pas is still messing with my relationship karma. So, I have to admit, I was kind of relieved to see even these “Californication” man whores swap ladies like it ain’t no thang.  It made me wonder how common that sort of situation is…. So, ladies, I ask you this question—have you ever dated a pair of friends?

The weekend is the perfect time to catch up on all the TV you’ve missed. Bravo will air marathons of “Project Runway” and “Rachel Zoe Project” just in time for the season finales next week. I’ll watch “Clean House: The Messiest Home in the Country” on Saturday to make myself feel less guilty about cleaning my own home. (I’m not really messy anyway.) Sunday continues to be the best for primetime viewing, especially the 10 o’clock hour.

What’s better than a scandal? A sex scandal! When the studly star of a TV show about a Los Angeles novelist who can’t keep it in his pants revealed he suffered from the same sex addiction as his character, I had to wonder: Am I still going to enjoy watching David Duchovny hump his was through “Californication?” Would the show that once had his Golden Globe winning character, Hank Moody, getting punched in the face as he orgasms still be willing to go there, in light of his highly publicized sexual addiction problem? Within the first minutes of last night’s season premiere, I had my answer. In the opening sequence, Moody wakes up and whispers to his girlfriend, “I’ve got a godlike erection right now, and it seems a shame to waste it.”  Touché, Hank! In this case of art imitating life, the on-screen sex has turned truly compelling. And here’s the kicker. Now, Moody’s trying to be monogamous. Oh, the irony. Maybe “Californication” fans like me are the ones who need the intimacy fix? It’s a good thing they’re not writing off Duchovny or Hank Moody yet. How else would the rest of us get off vicariously?

Saturday is definitely the day to watch some of your favorite movies, like The Godfather and Purple Rain, but you can also catch up on the first season of “Dirty Sexy Money,” since the second season starts on October 1. You can also catch a replay of the “Heroes” season premiere on Saturday night. And remember, ABC’s fall shows premiere on Sunday as well as “Dexter” and “Californication” on Showtime. Sweet mother of god, there is some good stuff on TV this weekend. So much for outdoor activities. [TV Guide]

For the last few weeks, and up until this Sunday, it’s been a big time for TV addicts—so many shows are back! And with them comes the hot dudes that make the shows worth watching (well, in addition to awesome stories, great acting, etcetera). After the jump, 10 TV actors we’re so psyched to have back in our lives, including John Krasinski (“The Office” returns tomorrow night!) and Gale Harold, a new addition to “Desperate Housewives” (premiering this Sunday) whom we’ve loved since “Queer As Folk”.

The boys are back in town! The guys of “Entourage,” that is. I’ve spent the last two Sundays demanding silence at ten o’clock.  What can I say? I love testosterone TV. So why does a girly girl like me, who watches “Gossip Girl” and “90210,” have so much love for “bros before hos” shows? Find out after the jump.

We’re extremely excited about the return of either of our favorite shows this fall, but we’ve realized that a season finale refresher is in order. Hey, when our lives and our homies’ lives have real cliffhangers, we can’t be expected to remember months later what happened to our friends on TV, too. Read our updates just in time for the start of the fall TV season on September 2.

Now that I am so used to him playing horny rabble-rousing a-hole Hank Moody on Californication, it’s easy to forget that there was once another role that David Duchovny was known for—Fox Mulder, from hit series The X-Files (the new film comes out this weekend). I have to admit, I wasn’t the hugest X-Files fan, despite being a total sci-fi nerd. I think it was too serious for me, and I like my aliens campy. But regardless, Mulder was hot. So hot, legions of horny men and women spent their free time writing Mulder/Scully erotic “fan fiction” (a truly nerdy hobby that I may or may not have engaged in myself) and posting it on the internet. Like this one!