UPDATE, 3p.m.: Bwah-ha-ha, someone else grabbed it. Here it is on Daily Motion. Quick, watch it before this gets taken down, too.
UPDATE, 2:45p.m.: We regret to you inform you YouTube has taken this audio clip down, citing a copyright issue. Too bad. Trust us, it was terrible.
I always knew that Britney Spears was held together with eyelash glue and rhinestones, but the extent to which her music is made consumable for the public has been artfully kept under wraps. Now the audio of her song “Alien” without the cosmetic enhancements of auto-tune has been released and it’s clear just how many little elves have been working behind the scenes. You’d get booted off “American Idol” right quick if you sang this badly! Nevertheless, veteran producer William Orbit gallantly took to Facebook to defend Brit, claiming the audio was simply a vocal warmup. He added, “Whomever put this on the internet must have done so in a spirit of unkindness, but it can in no way detract from the fact that Britney is and always will be beyond Stellar! She is magnificent! And that’s that.” Auto-tune or not, we have to agree with him! [YouTube; Facebook]
On the rare occasion I decide to give a sex partner a lap dance, Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” is my usual song of choice. This Postmodern Jukebox cover — done in a 1940s torch style — slows things down a bit, but has the potential to inspire some sweet new booty-shaking moves. Noted! (Also, way to continue to fucking kill it with the covers, Postmodern Jukebox. So awesome.)
Once upon a time, there lived three wild, crazy, barely-to-moderately talented entertainers who ran in the same circle but did not often hang out together, either because of jealousy, competition and, some say, bits of unrequited affection. Then one day, all three of these starlets were photographed in a car together and the universe practically exploded considering all the possible outcomes of this new and powerful trifecta. But alas, it was not meant to be, as nothing particularly special resulted from that packed front seat and the three went their separate ways, with none of them churning out anything of particular achievement since. Why am I telling you this story? Oh, because that photograph, the one of the three starlets (Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, obviously), is so bizarrely infamous that Lily Allen has used it in her video for the song “Our Time,” only she plays all three herself. Watch above! [Chart Rigger]
“I think it’s important to look good and feel good about yourself, but I got both ways with it. I feel it’s cruel how the world puts so much emphasis on our looks. I was just watching ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ and I see Kim and what she went through when she was pregnant — the tabloids were so mean to her because she was big. At one point on the show she was upset and said something like, ‘I would be lying if I said that the criticism from the paparazzi while I’ve been pregnant hasn’t taken a toll on me.’ And I was like, ‘Bless your heart,’ because I remember that time. First of all you are already emotional and then the paparazzi are taking pictures of you pregnant. That should be the time [in you life] when your body is the most treasured. I loved being pregnant for so many reasons, not to mention the sex is awesome then. But in this business you make a deal with the devil. I’ve learned you kind of have to go with it. What I do calls for me to look good. People expect that. I kind of take it as my job.”
Britney Spears isn’t known for thoughtful commentary on, well, anything, so I was pleasantly surprised to read her criticism of the entertainment industry in the latest issue of InStyle. I would have expected Brit to say something more like “I LOOOOOVE doing 6,000 crunches a day!” But she shows a lot of empathy here for the vicious beauty and weight pressures faced by female celebs. It is, of course, a subject she knows all too well. Even if I understand what women like Britney and Kim get out of their “deal with the devil,” it’s still extremely sad this deal has to exist. [InStyle] [Image via WENN]