UPDATE, 3p.m.: Bwah-ha-ha, someone else grabbed it. Here it is on Daily Motion. Quick, watch it before this gets taken down, too.
UPDATE, 2:45p.m.: We regret to you inform you YouTube has taken this audio clip down, citing a copyright issue. Too bad. Trust us, it was terrible.
I always knew that Britney Spears was held together with eyelash glue and rhinestones, but the extent to which her music is made consumable for the public has been artfully kept under wraps. Now the audio of her song “Alien” without the cosmetic enhancements of auto-tune has been released and it’s clear just how many little elves have been working behind the scenes. You’d get booted off “American Idol” right quick if you sang this badly! Nevertheless, veteran producer William Orbit gallantly took to Facebook to defend Brit, claiming the audio was simply a vocal warmup. He added, “Whomever put this on the internet must have done so in a spirit of unkindness, but it can in no way detract from the fact that Britney is and always will be beyond Stellar! She is magnificent! And that’s that.” Auto-tune or not, we have to agree with him! [YouTube; Facebook]
On the rare occasion I decide to give a sex partner a lap dance, Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” is my usual song of choice. This Postmodern Jukebox cover — done in a 1940s torch style — slows things down a bit, but has the potential to inspire some sweet new booty-shaking moves. Noted! (Also, way to continue to fucking kill it with the covers, Postmodern Jukebox. So awesome.)
Once upon a time, there lived three wild, crazy, barely-to-moderately talented entertainers who ran in the same circle but did not often hang out together, either because of jealousy, competition and, some say, bits of unrequited affection. Then one day, all three of these starlets were photographed in a car together and the universe practically exploded considering all the possible outcomes of this new and powerful trifecta. But alas, it was not meant to be, as nothing particularly special resulted from that packed front seat and the three went their separate ways, with none of them churning out anything of particular achievement since. Why am I telling you this story? Oh, because that photograph, the one of the three starlets (Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, obviously), is so bizarrely infamous that Lily Allen has used it in her video for the song “Our Time,” only she plays all three herself. Watch above! [Chart Rigger]