Over the past few months, it seems like I can barely go a week without hearing a story about a looney tunes 911 call—from the women who called 911 to report that her daughter was better at oral sex to the man who dialed emergency services because a worker at McDonald’s had left the orange juice off his order. People, we get that 911 is strictly for emergencies, right? Right? Here are some of the best 911 calls of the past year. Keep reading »
An Ohio woman must have meant to call her shrink and not the police when she reported a crime of passion in her home. What was the crime? Her daughter had performed oral sex on her husband. (He’s the girl’s stepfather.) I think that’s against the law of basic human appropriateness, but unfortunately there is no legislation for oral sex in the state of Ohio. But oddly enough, the woman wasn’t actually upset about the BJ—she was upset about the quality of the BJ. Apparently, her daughter was better at it. The police did not show up with handcuffs (these loonies would probably think the police were showing up for a kinky orgy), but I’m hoping that they suggested serious therapy for all parties involved. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. [Metro]
Over the past eight years, the “9/11 truth” movement has gained a lot of followers. They’re the folks who say that 9/11 doesn’t compute and suspect that serious foul play, possibly on the part of our government, went down. I encountered a truther on the subway today who kept saying, “Wake up, America. 9/11 was a set-up.” But, still, I was a bit surprised to hear that Charlie Sheen is a card-carrying truther, too. He recently wrote a piece for PrisonPlanet.com that’s in the form of a conversation with Barack Obama. Here’s what he had to say:
“[There's a] bottomless warren of unanswered questions surrounding that day and its aftermath…9/11 has been the pretext for the systematic dismantling of our Constitution and Bill of Rights…I implore you based on the evidence you now possess, to use your Executive Power. Prove to us all, Sir, that you do, in fact, care. Create a truly comprehensive and open Congressional investigation of 9/11 and its aftermath.” [Popeater]
But Charlie isn’t the only celebrity conspiracy theorist on the block. Here’s a look at four more. I’ll withhold judgment and let you decide whether you think they’re on to something or totally off their rockers. Keep reading »
It may be Friday, but today, in case you’ve sequestered yourself from all calendars, is also a very sad day. So let’s take a moment to remember 9/11, memorialized here in the annual “Tribute In Light.” [NYC 9/11/09] Keep reading »
A three-year-old saved her pregnant mom’s life by calling 911 and giving the dispatcher details about her house and other landmarks all because her mom had made up a song called “911 green” that the toddler learned the week before. (The title comes from the fact that to call 911 on a cell phone, you have to press the three numbers and then the green button. From what I’ve found, the lyrics of the song are simply, “911 green, 911 green.” But there might be a remix coming out in the next month or so.) [AP] Keep reading »
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