Following the dystopian Republican National Convention, Jon Stewart returned to late night television to blast the hypocrisy of the GOP with his signature fire and conviction that’s propelled him into the hearts of countless left-leaning comedy viewers for years. More »
On Monday, the FBI released transcripts of the 911 calls made by the Orlando shooter, Omar Mateen, during the terrorist attack, offering more insights into what actually happened inside Pulse nightclub June 12. According to the transcripts, the Orlando shooter said, “I did the shootings,” and claimed there was a vehicle with explosives attached outside Pulse. Partial transcripts of… More »
In what was likely one of the most adorable (but inconvenient) 911 calls, New Jersey 7-year-old Isabella Laperuta called the police after she accidentally touched her Elf on the Shelf. More »
Plus, Chris Brown is a “person of interest” in a sexual assault case, and Gavin Rossdale is desperate to win back Gwen. More »
A 911 dispatcher in Columbia, Ohio, is being criticized for telling a woman who had been sexually assaulted at gunpoint to “quit crying” during the upsetting call. The 20-year-old was attacked after 4 a.m. on Sunday morning by a strange man who broke into a house and held a gun to her head. Although… More »
A woman in West Midlands, England, called 999 (Britain’s emergency call service) because of ice cream sprinkles. In the middle of an argument with the guy who’d just sold her an ice cream cone, she called police in a huff and detailed how he refused to put sprinkles on both sides. Um. Desserts… More »
I can’t decide if this is a genius or terrible idea. Cell phone providers have now made it possible for users to text message 911 during an emergency in case they’re unable to speak.
AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile and Verizon Wireless have all hopped on board with the new feature, but the ability to… More »
Yesterday, George Zimmerman — the man who shot and killed unarmed teen Trayvon Martin — was arrested and charged with aggravated assault after his girlfriend, Samantha Scheibe, called 911 and said Zimmerman broke all of her things and pointed a shotgun in her face. Now we can actually listen to Scheibe’s 911 call and it’s… More »
Remember the name Benjamin Todd Duddles. He should now be added to every woman’s DO NOT SLEEP WITH LIST. But especially if you live in Waukesha, Wisconsin. In order to get rid of his one-night stand who was “snoring like a train” in his bed, Mr. Duddles called 911 and requested that she be “removed… More »
We’ve all had moments in life when we’ve found ourselves laughing at the most inappropriate times. Like, in the middle of an argument or upon seeing someone’s penis for the first time. (I still regret that.) But it shouldn’t be too hard to keep a straight face in the middle of a life-threatening emergency. When… More »
Today is the 12th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon on September 11, 2001. AT&T posted this advertisement, featuring a hand holding a smartphone with an image of the memorial lights for the Twin Towers against the NYC horizon, to their Twitter page, writing, “Never Forget.” Hmm, using a national tragedy… More »
Emergency services are there for you to call when you’re short on Kool-Aid and weed, or to bitch about your mom, or, in the case of an unnamed British guy in West Midlands, England, to complain that the prostitute you’ve hired isn’t attractive enough. The guy called the British equivalent of 911 and told the dispatcher… More »
Dear Jarvis Sutton,
Are you my soulmate? I think you might be, because it’s pretty clear you appreciate Kool-Aid almost as much as I do. I love the Kool-Aid man so much, especially when he comes crashing through a wall screaming his signature catch phrase, “Oh yeah!” in his creepy smoker’s voice.
… More »
On this day each year, I’m supposed to be remembering the thousands of lives lost as the Twin Towers collapsed 11 years ago. I do, of course, commemorate the innocent men and women (and children) who both passed away and risked their own lives to save others.
But to me, September 11 is… More »
Outside of New York City, “The Today Show” chose not to air the 9/11 “moment of silence” at 8:46 a.m. this morning, the time when the first hijacked airplane hit the World Trade Center — in favor of … wait for it … an interview with Kris Jenner. The “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” momager… More »
Dear Mark Welch,
I would like to start by saying that even if no one else does, I believe you. I’ve had that happen to me before — where I woke up and the same stuff that I dreamed happened to me in real life. I was in college, around you age, when… More »
Mark Wahlberg is in a whole lotta hot water for giving the following quote — about being scheduled to fly on one of the planes that was hijacked on 9/11 — to Men’s Journal: “If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a… More »
Oooh. That’s no good. Who thought this was a good advertisement to put in downtown Manhattan? I love “Mad Men” as much as the next latte-drinking, Volvo-driving, East Coast liberal and I know the image of man in a suit falling from the sky in the opening credits is powerful iconography tied to the show. More »
I had a plan on September 10th, 2001. It was a rough plan, just broad strokes, really. But it was a plan. Because men make plans. You can’t build a bridge or pull off a bank heist or rescue a hostage without a plan. So I had a plan to get my life in order. More »