Dear The Three People Who Scrutinized My ID On My 21st Birthday,
Now, I know I look like I’m 12 years old. But this past Friday I turned 21, and I was disappointed by the various questioning and puzzled looks of confusion I received from each of you.
A rare occurrence, I awoke on the right side of the bed that Friday morning, feeling a full inch taller and a few IQ points higher. I skipped to the bathroom to brush my pearly whites, and whilst admiring my slowing-forming under-eye wrinkles, I was delighted to find 21 gray hairs sitting sprightly along my hairline.
I dressed in my adult best: a chunky brown sweater that engulfs my body, dark blue jeans, worn-down brown boots, and a highly sophisticated necklace from Forever 21, and set out to the local Bronx liquor store to rack up on booze. Keep reading »