Oof, last night’s episode of “True Tori,” one of the biggest car wrecks of a reality show I’ve ever watched, was a doozy. Quick recap: “True Tori” is a Lifetime celeb reality show about Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott, in the wake of his cheating “scandal.” Some think the cheating was concocted for the reality show, but while I think Tori and Dean are often acting their D-list balls off, the events are real. It’s a very odd show to watch, because it feels both so real and so fake all at once.
Anyway, on last night’s episode, Tori and Dean were at couples therapy and Dean was trying to explain what compelled him to cheat while he was in Toronto filming “Top Chef Canada.” Apparently he was sore about the fact that he and Tori didn’t have sex before he left on his trip, an excuse that Tori immediately called out as bullshit. As Tori explained it, they had not only been intimate in the weeks before his trip (if not the night before), but that she had “done things” she’d never done before and that the couple had paid two visits to a sex shop. Dean was quick to leave the room — because apparently talking about your sex life on TV goes too far, but putting your four kids on a show about the breakdown of your marriage does not — and viewers were left guessing what “things” Tori was talking about. My first hunch was obviously ANAL, but the two sex shop trips indicate that they needed special supplies. I don’t believe for a second that Tori and Dean have been in a seven-year marriage and have never used sexy toys in the bedroom, so the obvious conclusion — to me and echoed by Jezebel — is that they bought a strap-on and Tori pegged Dean with it. CASE CLOSED. Pegged it! (P.S. Ain’t no shame in stimulating that prostate, Dean. No judgement here!) Keep reading »
This week Tori Spelling tweeted: “O-M-G … My husband @Deanracer just surprised me w/ hottest ‘Tori’ tattoo in an unbelievably intimate spot I’m blown away!”
Of course, she didn’t show us a picture of this intimate tattoo, but based on the other bad “Tori” tattoo on his elbow, we can only guess that Dean got her beloved pet chicken Coco inked on his taint. I’m sure we’ll see a Twitpic or Vine video of it soon enough … whether we want to or not.
Here are some more celebs who got intimate tattoos. [US Weekly]
Dear Tori Spelling,
I try to ignore it whenever I see gossip stories about you. Why? Because you’re doin’ you and I’m doin’ me and what you do when you’re doin’ you is none of my biz. Usually this arrangement works just fine for you and me. But then yesterday, I got curious and watched a Vine video you posted on Twitter titled “This is how we sleep.”
It was a clever caption. It would engage even the most disinterested web surfer such as myself. I wish I never clicked on it. It made me feel deeply uncomfie, first and foremost, because I don’t want to see your husband naked in bed making sexy eyes at you. Ick. Weird. Then it pans to your sleeping dog and kids. Ok. Whatever. A lot of peeps sleep with their dogs and kids. I’m not judging.
The thing that made me regret watching your vid was the FUCKING CHICKEN IN YOUR BED. Tori, No. I know that you’ve been a celebrity your whole life, and you grew up with a warped sense of reality, but you must know that having a chicken in your bed is FUCKING GROSS. Keep reading »
Reality TV star Tori Spelling shares her “bittersweet feelings” on ToriSpelling.com as she nears the end of her fourth pregnancy. The soon-to-be mom-of-four says this will likely be her “final pregnancy” and talks about her love of being a “pregger” and living for her children Liam, 5,Stella, 4, and Hattie, 10 months.
“As my 4th pregnancy is nearing the end I have bittersweet feelings,” Tori writes. “I can’t wait to meet and hold my little man or lady, and definitely I won’t miss having to pee 4 times a night or hearing my now pliable pelvic bones move and crunch when I try to pull myself out of bed in the morning. But, there’s so much I will miss.”
According to the soon-to-be mom-of-four, this will likely be her last pregnancy. Read more …
I should probably be upfront and just make it clear from the get-go that I am not a Sarah Palin fan. But I watched her hosting gig on “The Today Show” anyway this morning, and found it to be about a 6 out of 10 on the pain scale. Still droppin’ her Gs? Check! Still crowing about the “lamestream media” (on a “lamestream media” show an hour before co-hosting that same “lamestream media” show)? Check! But it was not all bad. I found it refreshing that, during a discussion about Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy weight gain, Palin was the only person on the panel — which included “Today”‘s resident medical expert and that misogynist blowhard Donny Deutsch — that said how much weight a pregnant woman gains is none of our gosh darn business.
Still, the most cringe-worthy, and therefore most entertaining moment for me was when Palin started talkin’ family values with newly pregnant Tori Spelling. (Spelling, for the record, has an infant and two other children; she joked that her latest pregnancy is proof that you can conceive while breastfeeding.) Palin literally kind of fawned over her, praising her for “living life vibrantly” — whatever that means — and serving as a “good inspiration for others.” Anyway, it was an odd pairing. Watch a clip above!
I’ve never particularly wanted to see Tori Spelling‘s boobs. But thanks to her husband Dean McDermott, now we all can! Last night, he innocently tweeted a photo of his and Tori’s young son in a funny moment with something stuck to his head. Alas, upon further inspection, Tori’s naked boobs are visible in the background! In fact, no further inspection is required — they are blatantly right there. This photo raises many questions for me. First of all, why is she randomly topless? And why did Dean post this? The photo has since been removed without comment from Dean, so we may never know why he shared her ta-tas with the world. Russell Brand’s Twitpic last year of Katy Perry’s makeup-free face seems positively unremarkable in comparison (mostly because no nipples were involved). [TMZ]