On my very first date with my boyfriend, I didn’t know if he was going to kiss me. I didn’t know yet that he loves Concord grapes, plays the saxophone and has never seen a Woody Allen movie. But I did know for certain that I wanted this person with whom I’d just eaten dinner to be in my life, somehow. I remember sitting across from him at a table in a Portuguese restaurant, smiling, and thinking, “Whatever happens after this date, I really hope we become friends. You’re cool.”

Flash forward six intense, crazy-in-love months and this man is not only boyfriend—he is my closest friend now, too, the one who knows everything about what goes on with my family, what goes on at work, what weird dreams woke me up in the middle of the night.

And I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing.

Men fight because it feels good. It’s thrilling. Testosterone explodes and adrenaline surges. The hormonal musk kicked up by a MMA fight is potent enough to grow hair on a grapefruit. We have love of the battle in our blood. There are biological and evolutionary reasons for this. Like many male mammals, men compete for territory, food, and, most importantly, females. After all, it’s our genetic compulsion to spread our seed. Violence is part of our nature. It comes in handy when a giant, shambling mound of protein with tusks needs to be taken down. It’s a negative when … well… read the news. If I were a cynic, I’d say that war was invented to keep the surplus of men down.

• Specialist Alexis Hutchinson, an Army cook, was arrested by military police and contained at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, Georgia, after she refused deployment to Afghanistan by not showing up for her flight. Hutchinson, a 21-year-old single mother, said she hasn’t been able to find care for her 10-month-old son, Kamani, while she is gone, explaining that her mother is overwhelmed by caring for three sick relatives. Hutchinson’s attorney said one of her superiors told her Kamani would be placed in foster care if Hutchinson couldn’t find care during her deployment. A spokesperson for Hunter Army Airfield said he does not know what Hutchinson was told by her superior, but she wouldn’t be deployed unless she could find Kamani care. Hutchinson’s mother ended up flying from California to Georgia to pick up Kamani anyway, since her daughter could face charges from the Army for going AWOL. [AP]

“If you’re a woman alone, you’re a victim waiting to happen!” Thank God someone is finally saying those BE AFRAID ALL THE TIME commercials are really super dumb—sensationalized “rape fables,” as our girl Sarah Haskins calls them. Not every knock at the door means a psycho burglar-rapist is afoot!

Wow, I know politicians fight dirty, but resorting to woman-on-woman sexism in campaign ads is pretty low. Carly Fiorina, the former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, is challenging current Senator Barbara Boxer for her Congressional seat. Fine and dandy, right? It’s actually pretty cool that one woman is challenging another woman for her seat.

But Fiorina’s campaign just sent out the most ridiculous that-lady-needs-to-be-put-in-her-place email I’ve ever read. To quote from the message (which I received through marketing emails from The Washington Times, a conservative-leaning newspaper in D.C.):

Barbara Boxer ... disrespectfully demanded a Brigadier General refer to her as “Senator” instead of “ma’am” during a recent Senate hearing. I’m sure you’ll agree that Boxer’s arrogance and disrespect for our nation’s military leaders is way out of line.

What had the cool girls muffling their laughter in the cubicle this week? These were the most popular stories of the week on The Frisky:

MONDAY:

Most Re-tweeted Story: Reason #612 Not To Be Friends With Your Mom On Facebook 
Most Read Story: 21 Halloween Costumes That Will Not Get You Laid

• Marilyn Manson has an extremely disturbing new video for his song “Running To The Edge of the World” where he murders a bikini-clad woman who looks like his ex, Evan Rachel Wood. I guess it wasn’t enough for Marilyn to tell Spin after their breakup, “I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull with a sledgehammer.” [You Tube]
Polish bikini model-slash-“Dancing With The Stars” contestant Joanna Krupa says posing for Playboy is feminist because so many women are involved in the photo shoot. I have to admit she’s got some good points in the interview. [Fox News]

Rihanna is finally opening up about the physical abuse she suffered by ex-boyfriend Chris Brown in an interview with Glamour magazine. They interviewed Rihanna for their annual Women Of The Year issue, ostensibly to speak up for domestic violence survivors, which is a brave move for her to make. But honestly? Rihanna’s statement is of the “no, duh” variety and sounds like it was written/watered down by PR folks and lawyers.

I’m not going to lie—I like Wal-Mart. Sure, I prefer Target, but there’s something fascinating about Wal-Mart. I mean, I bought a t-shirt there the other day for $3. Three bucks! That’s, like, a sandwich. Anyway, thanks to the crappy economy, Wal-Mart is the go-to shopping spot for many Americans, whether they’re looking for clothes, food, or furniture. But did you know that Wal-Mart also sells caskets? Yes, it’s true. They’re only available online—I guess it wouldn’t be too cool to turn down an aisle and find yourself surrounded by caskets—but the store’s got quite a selection for those frugalistas with someone to bury and looking to save. Ranging in price from $895 to $2,899, there is an array of styles to chose from: Lovely in All Ways, Dad Remembered, and Lady de Guadalupe. I’m partial to the American Rose with soft pink crepe interior myself. [Via Urlesque]

Oh, I’m swooning. Christina Hendricks from “Mad Men” shook up some cocktails with Martha Stewart this morning and she’s so lovely it should be a crime.  Girlfriend is glowing with happiness after her recent marriage and even handled Martha’s weird comments, like how Christina looks older on TV, with Joan Holloway-style grace. Also, her new husband proposed with a chandelier!

I want to hate this costume because it doesn’t represent the ‘90’s riot grrl scene at all (think: underground feminist punk like Bikini Kill, Sleater-Kinney, Bratmobile). But I’d much rather have my little niece go as a botched riot grrl for Halloween than Noah Cyrus’ sexy witch with dominatrix boots get-up! [HalloweenCostumes4U]

Being wrinkly makes you interesting? And here we’ve been obsessing about wrinkle creams and anti-aging beauty products, thinking that getting old is a big downer. This ad campaign, called “See The Person, Not The Age,” recently launched in Scotland and aims to fight ageism through wrinkled-up billboards that display slogans like these: “This is proof you can still have wrinkles and do a good job” and “Why don’t you notice people with wrinkles too?”

Could wrinkles ever really be thought of as “beautiful”? Why not? If this prevents just one person from feeling pressured to get Botox, it’s a very good thing. Why do wrinkles have to be so stigmatized anyway? What do you think of this campaign? Progressive? Or did you just wrinkle your nose? [StyleFrizz.com]

Things we fretted about this week, in no particular order:

• Whether GQ Photoshopped January Jones’ boobs. Let’s check the video!
• Which Halloween costumes will get us laid—and which costumes won’t!
• Why Leighton Meester should be in a “Thelma & Louise” remake.
• If Heidi Montag’s sister Holly has a drinking problem or if that’s just reality show editing BS.
• What will Ashlee Simpson do for a living now that she’s been killed off “Melrose Place”?
• Which other guys did Chuck Bass make out with before?

Reader Elena spotted this truth in Marburg, Germany.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send your pic to tips@thefrisky.com.

All kinds of Twitter-related DRAMA this week!

First, Miley Cyrus abruptly quit Twitter and then rapped about it.

Then John McCain’s daughter, Meghan McCain, posted a pic of her ginormous boobs on Twitter. And then freaked out and threatened to quit Twitter when people gave her crap about it. But she didn’t quit, so ... hooray?

But then the DRAMA shifted from Twitter to our TV screens, where we briefly fretted six-year-old Falcon Heene was floating through the air in a helium-filled flying saucer. Turns out he was just hiding in the attic. Then he went on Meredith Viera’s show and puked.

Alas, there aren’t any Republican boobs or barfing six-year-olds after the jump…but there are all the fab blog posts you might have missed this week on The Frisky!

Tina Fey, poster child for the abstinence movement? Naaaah. She was just homely, the 30 Rock star told David Letterman last night. (Sorry, Sarah Palin.)

Even though Tina held onto her V-card until the ripe old age of 24, this story’s got a sweet ending! The fabulous Ms. Fey ended up having her daughter with the guy who took her virginity: her husband. How old-fashioned!

David Letterman sat down for a chat with my boyfriend “Mad Men“‘s Jon Hamm, and the conversation ventured into the territory of Hamm’s former career as a set dresser on those late-night Cinemax movies where chicks run around naked and guys hump them. During this “fallow period” of his acting career, Hamm was a prop wrangler on soft-core movies. “It was an exciting moment in my life,” Hamm reminisces. “It’s a closed set so only, you know, vital personnel are there. Then you see the guy that, like, runs the craft service thing, like, kind of eating a hot dog, staring at it. And it’s like, why does Jimmy need to be here?” Maybe they can work this story into a Sterling Cooper plot line? [Huffington Post]

Damn you, world. Don’t you know those of us who work in the media, like everyone else, likes to take things slow on Friday? We don’t like it when things actually happen, ‘cause that means we have to pretend we’re still coherent and work! Don’t give Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize, when all us want is to go home, have a few drinks and see “Couples Retreat.” And don’t have your baby, Heidi Klum. And don’t go on “The View”, showing everyone in America that ginormous, tacky 9-carat rock on your finger, Khloe Kardashian ....