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WWWWD Reports On The Met Ball

“Karl Lagerfeld is dead!” “Terrorists at the Met Gala!” “Kate Moss ate foie gras!”

Missed these headlines from the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala? You can find them all in the latest edition of WWWWD (not to be confused with WWD), the Onion-esque fake newsletter that pokes fun at the fashion world. In the Met Ball Special, WWWWD reports that Karl Lagerfeld was thought dead due to the death of a German farmer with the same name, and caused a stir when he showed up alive: “… Anna Wintour threw herself at his feet, crying ‘I’m sorry I never respond to your Evites!’ while kissing his shiny patent toes, Karl claimed to have been ‘a touch surprised.’” Other news includes a Tweet roundup (Mario Testino: “@gwyneth’s place. blaming my farts on apple. must quit cheese”), a report on Blake Lively’s new gender-neutral fragrance, and model Erin Wasson’s crack addict date.

What? WWWWD offended you? Jeez, why does fashion always have to be so serious? Really, what’s so important about fash — oh crap, Anna Wintour is barreling towards us with a pointy stiletto and her razor-sharp haircut. [WWWWD: Met Ball Special] Keep reading »

Crave: LCD Notecards

These days, sending a letter through the mail comes off as quaint (unless, of course, it’s a bill, in which case it’s annoying). Try these LCD notecards to make your letters feel less old fashioned. For ‘80s enthusiasts and people with bad handwriting, these multipurpose greeting cards let you send a message that’s crafty and futuristic. All you need to do is let grooves in the grid of these 2 x 8 squares guide a colored marker to make the letters. The goods are created by Yellow Owl Workshop, a San Francisco company that uses recycled paper. We like the stationery for writing thank you letters, especially for saying, “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.” [$5, Urban Outfitters] Keep reading »

Bejeweled Panties To Pattern Your Butt

This is one of those head-scratcher products I’m not sure who would want to buy. This Souffrez Pour Moi underwear is made with “artfully placed seams, beads, and textured fabric to create intimate, temporary patterns in the skin.” I don’t know about you, but if I ever discovered an “intimate, temporary pattern” on my skin, I’d make an appointment with my doctor and be tempted to warn any previous sex partners of the new development. The underwear isn’t meant to just be worn, though, oh, no — it’s supposed to provoke thought, too, on “how beauty and suffering are subtly intertwined.” Call me crazy, but I don’t think there’s anything subtle — or beautiful, for that matter — about bejeweled panties. If the underwear saves some women from getting lower back tattoos, though, I’ll give it my blessing. [Generate via Random Good Stuff] Keep reading »

Giving Birth Is No Time To Let Yourself Go!

It’s about time selfish women stopped thinking about themselves when they give birth. Their poor male partners have to stand beside them through all that screaming and crying while their ladies look so sweaty and unkempt! Giving birth is no time to let yourself go, ladies.

Fortunately, now we have Pretty Pushers’ A Dressed Up Delivery Kit. The product site asks, “Who is that unrecognizable monster in the hospital gown? Not you!” The kit comes with Picture Perfect Pink Sheer Lip Gloss and a mirror, a lavender-colored cotton dress, a headband, a lemon water towelette, and massage oil. What, no manicure kit?

Pink lip gloss will be the last thing on my mind if I ever push out an eight-pound bundle of joy. But if you get a Dressed Up Delivery Kit, maybe your baby photos will be less “monstrous” than mine. [$34.99, Perpetual Kid] Keep reading »

Crave: Pepperface Pepper Spray Tubes

Because we love to be stylish and safe, we are digging these awesomely-decorated pepper sprays from Pepperface. Encased in sleek aluminum tubes in pretty purple, rocker black, or James Bond-esque 18-karat gold, you can ward off evildoers with major flair. A fave of celebs like Carmen Electra and Lindsay Lohan, these glammed up pepper sprays are pretty and protective. [$55 and up, Pepperface.com] Keep reading »

Have All Eyes On You With This Necklace Made From Real Eyelashes

Maybe back in the day all you had to do was bat your eyelashes to get a man’s attention. Now you do it and people assume you have something stuck in your eye or a weird twitch. Blasted! Well, you can allude to the golden days of romance and chivalry with Stephanie Simek’s eyelashe necklaces, made of 100 percent human hair. We can’t figure out if it’s creepy, cool, or both. [$38, Stars And Infinite Darkness] Keep reading »

The Skinny On: The Met Costume Ball

You thought prom was a big fuss? Try the monstrous fashion madness that is the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala.

Hosted by Anna Wintour, the Met Ball is the tick that is Hollywood feasting itself on the blood of high fashion … Or is it the other way around? No one can really tell through all the air kisses and champagne fizz, but no problemo! All that matters is that if you’re a starlet who’s lucky enough to have a ticket, you can wear a dress that costs the same as an entire year of a private college education.

This caveat excludes most of us from going—but that doesn’t mean if you ever find yourself stuck in an elevator with Andre Leon Talley, you can’t at least know what you’re talking about. Here’s your cheat sheet on the exclusive Met Ball. Keep reading »

Crave: Demitasse Moustache Necklace

Apparently Nietzsche, like hipsters, wore a mustache while nattering on about how God is dead. Or so says Demitasse Jewelry vis-a-vis this funky little Nietszche ‘stache necklace. Sterling silver is the cheapest, but if you’ve got the money and a thing for philosophers, you can score a 14-karat one for $455. With all the coin we’ve spent on upper lip bleaching since puberty, this is just the kind of moustache we’ve been looking for! [Starting at $75, Demitasse Jewelry] Keep reading »

The Keybag

Writing an email, text, or memoir aren’t the only things you can do with a keyboard. You can let one hold all your junk and accessorize your outfit. That is, if you have a Keybag designed by João Sabino. Each Keybag is made from 393 keys or key fragments arranged in a random, unique order so that it becomes its own communication vehicle. Available in red, pink, black, and white, no tech-savvy fashionista or writer should be without one. [JoaoSabino.pt via Fashion Indie] Keep reading »

How To Get Plastic Surgery — For Free!

We’re still reeling from the news that the Miss California Organization paid for contestant Carrie Prejean to get fake ta-tas so she’d have a better chance of winning Miss USA. Tasteless? Yes. Uncommon? Unfortunately, no. We nosed around for other ways to “better” your body without breaking the bank. Keep reading »

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