They kinda make an adorable, dorky couple don’t they? [Crawford, TX, 5/5/08]

I’ve been reading this book I Was Told There’d Be Cake, a collection of personal essays by Sloane Crosley, for the last few months. Though I think the book, in general, is a little “try too hard”, there’s one story in particular that really struck a chord with me. “You On A Stick” is about the time that Sloane’s best friend from her youth called her up out of the blue, after not having spoken for years, and asked her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. The essay ends up being about a lot of issues associated with being a bridesmaid—from the mundane and annoying tasks associated with the duty, like making a veil out of wrapping paper at the bridal shower, to the more serious issue of female friendships and what they mean. The latter hit home for me though—for the record, my bridesmaids will never have to make an asinine hat for me out of ribbons unless they put a gun to my head and force me to wear one—because I’ve been having a really hard time with this particular part of getting married.

Kate Moss is the face of Agent Provocateur’s bridal line, and the company has been releasing “artsy” video shorts over the past few days to go along with the print ads. In the first, harp music plays while Kate wears the “Sophie” babydoll near a wind machine. Hearts are everywhere, and it feels like a strange dream. Men would probably find it very alluring. After the jump, see a few designs from Agent Provacateur’s wedding collection. Our favorite is the “Kate” corset, but of course.

If you think the premise of the movie Made of Honor (bride’s best friend is a guy, and bride asks him to be her maid of honor) is a bunch of hooey, you thought wrong. Non-traditional wedding traditions, including asking a guy to be the man of honor, are becoming more common, according to WeddingChannel.com senior editor Christa Vagnozzi. In a poll by the website, 63 percent of brides said they’d ask their best friend to be a bridesman/man of honor if that person were a guy. This creates an added dilemma, however. What does a bridesman wear? Certainly not a chartreuse silk dress. “When it comes to what to wear, a bridesman should wear a tie, pocket kerchief, and boutonniere to match the bridesmaid dresses and bouquets,” WeddingChannel.com fashion expert Mara Urshel said. “As for the groomswoman, it’s best if she wears the same color as the bridesmaids, but not the same dress nor the same flowers.”

I was the kind of kid who never had my friends over to my house to play or for sleepovers because I would get really stressed out about entertaining them and making sure they had a good time. Even now I sort of dread having overnight guests or visitors from out of town—even my own family!—not because I don’t, like, love them and want to see them, but because I get serious anxiety over making sure they have THE BEST TIME EVER. I have a birthday party every year, sure, but do not for a second doubt that I have a knot in my stomach about people showing up until I get good and drunk. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I have loads of anxiety about planning a wedding that is both friggin’ awesome for me and the feef, but for our guests as well. So why not elope and save myself the gray hairs and crippling anxiety? Because I truly want to have a huge bash surrounded by our friends and family; I want to wear a pretty dress I will never wear again; I want a professional photographer to take our picture and airbrush out the three zits on my face that never go away; I want to have the kind of party that really embodies who the feef and I are.

I want to have a wedding, damn it. There. I said it.

Jenna Bush is getting married on May 10th and USA Today got a good look at her bridal party’s outfits, designed by Lela Rose. Our first impression is that Jenna’s bridesmaids won’t be tossing these dresses in the Hall Of Shame bin the second the ceremony is over. [USA Today]

Ha! And you thought bridal fashion season was over! This time Oscar de la Renta debuts a whimsical collection of doo-dad covered frocks for everyone from the bride in a turban to a bride in the sticks. Enjoy!

Don’t you think Amelia should have a green wedding? I do, and I have so much say in the matter. If she has her wedding in New York, where she lives, most of the guests can just hop on the subway to get to the ceremony and reception, and Portovert, a green wedding website, can help her figure out the rest—from her dress to the cake. And I’d even be willing to whip up the flower arrangements using what’s in season. Sound good, Amelia? [Portovert]

If your status on Facebook is “engaged”, you get inundated with various bridal and wedding B.S. on your profile page. As if you need a reminder that you’re supposed to be planning a friggin’ wedding, not adding “tanning, indoor gardening, and mac ‘n’ cheese” to your interests. Ugh.

Disney Weddings versus Badgley Mischka! Who will have the best looking dress? Which will be the most heinous? State your opinions, in the comments.

Wedding season is basically upon us, and do you know what that means? Besides requiring me to purchase gifts I don’t understand (Does anyone need a tureen?), attending a wedding means I won’t be eating. This is not the result of an eating disorder or attempts to squeeze into dresses. When I get a wedding invitation and am asked to check a box—chicken, beef, or fish—I can’t, because I don’t eat any of those things. I went to a wedding last year where they only served roast beef. Everyone at my table (mostly strange, single men) asked me why I wasn’t eating. I said I was getting over the flu. Needless to say, no one asked me to dance. Fortunately, I don’t go to weddings for food or men.

The Frisky was on the way to lunch when we noticed that on the rooftop of the doggie daycare next door, a photo shoot was taking place! A wedding photo shoot! With puppies! Our reaction was a mix of excitement (me!), revulsion (Emily), and “huh?” (Catherine). What do you guys think of household pets having weddings?

A couple in Vallejo, CA, had a rowdy party after their wedding on Saturday. The police came twice and, supposedly, the groom took off his shirt and approached an officer like he wanted to fight. The cop pulled a Taser on him, the groom and a cousin were arrested, and the bride was taken into custody on suspicion of public intoxication. This sets a new standard for wedding receptions: It’s not a party unless someone, preferably a member of the bridal party, gets tased. [CNN]

As if we already didn’t know that famous people are allergic to birth control and condoms, the New York Daily News is reporting that Beyonce may be pregnant with Jay-Z’s love child and that may explain why they rushed to wed this past weekend. B’s sister Solange famously did the same when she married her now ex-hubby after she got knocked up. Fertile ovaries run in the family! [NY Daily News]

Las year, Arkansas accidentally passed a law making it legal for anyone—even newborns—to marry as long as they had parental consent. The bill was supposed to have made 18 the legal age for marriage, but there was an extra “not” in the bill—oops! Lawmakers decided their error would make it easy for pedophiles to take advantage of the law, and repealed it this week, reinstating 17 as the legal age for men and 16 for women. While the whole “marriage-with-parental-consent” thing is bizarre, the fact that men and women can’t get married at the same age is truly strange. That, and laws making it legal for kids in Missouri and Hawaii to get hitched before they have their driver’s license. I guess they’d have a limo anyway. [USA Today]