Can a hook-up turn into boyfriend material?

Related stories:

Mel Gibson’s girlfriend has an achy-breaky heart. Last month we posted Oksana Grigorieva’s first single, “Say My Name.” Well the singer (?) has just released her first video, for the song “Beautiful Heartache.” And I have to say the video is a little random. Oksana sings about her heartburn while tango dancers whip across the floor, a knife thrower narrowly misses stabbing Oksana’s pencil-thin frame, and then her piano catches on fire? Oksana also sings about how she likes “the way you wear your skin.” I would say she wears hers a little stretched out with a touch of collagen. Witness the magic for yourself above.

I’ve never seen the do’s and dont’s of casual sex boiled down as succinctly as they are in this funny video from Current. Suggesting you to think of a friends-with-benefits relationship much the same way you would a temp job, the clip advises you to “make sure the person hiring you, knows they’re hiring you to be a temp,” “don’t assume you’ll go perm,” “always look for a better gig,” and “don’t take a temp job at place you used to work full-time less than three months ago.” Full clip above.

I never saw “The Exorcist,” but it cannot be any more disturbing than this real life video of what’s being called a “gay exorcism” performed on a 16-year-old boy in a Connecticut church. The kid looks like he’s having a seizure while being whipped around as a man shouts for his “homosexuality” to come out. (Double meaning probably not intended.) At one point, the boy pukes all over the people circled around him. Not sure why the church filmed this abuse, but the original 20-minute video has since been taken down from the church’s YouTube account. So here is just a glimpse of the shocking footage.

Where do you wish to wake up tomorrow? That’s the question posed to over 1500 people (and counting) in a fantastic new online video series produced by Crush & Lovely and Delltree.  The “Fifty People, One Question” project works like this: the producers stake out a busy area in an urban neighborhood, ask 50 people the same question, film their responses, and then edit them together into a short video segment that gets posted online. The project began in New Orleans, and after such a warm response, moved to New York and is now traveling to cities all over, “trying to capture a little slice of humanity.” The project searched for “nothing more than some fresh answers and found a few dreams instead.” Watch the Brooklyn video above and then answer the question yourself in comments: where do you wish to wake up tomorrow? [via Huffington Post]

“I took a job in another city, which will cause me to be away from my husband for long periods of time. What can we do to make our long-distance relationship work?” Phoebe, New York

Want more? Visit YourTango.com or check these out:

A few years ago after attending the Pitchfork music festival in Chicago, I went home and wrote up a joke Missed Connection ad that went something like: “You: Cute girl with pigtails, huge sunglasses, lots of necklaces, dirty ballet flats, and an American Apparel t-shirt. Me: Beard, dark-rimmed glasses, Urban Outfitters t-shirt, drinking a PBR. Let’s get coffee (but not at Starbucks). THIS Missed Connections story is way funnier though…

Susan Boyle ain’t got nothing on these dudes. On a type of “Sweden’s Got Talent” show, four wise alecks choreographed a naked dance as their “talent.” Mind you, these were cute, skinny, blond-haired wise alecks, so we can’t say we mind their childish antics too much. Calling it the “Crispbread Dance”, the guys ran around stage semi-creatively using giant crackers to hide their junk to the tunes of “Kung Fu Fighting”, “What What In My Butt” (clearly potty humor is the same over there), and some version of Riverdance.

So does Sweden have talent? If the rest of the country looks like this, then we say ja.

Televangelist Pat Robertson has said some pretty ridonkulous things. But recently, he topped even himself when, during a conversation about a bill protecting gay folks from hate crimes, he said it’s a slippery slope towards protecting “someone who likes to have sex with ducks.” When they heard this quote, Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci, who make up the group Garfunkel and Oates, made this hilarious pro-gay marriage music video, appropriately titled “Sex with Ducks,” celebrating the hypothetical freedom to “quack that swan.” So “put your beak in mine” and watch.

A new video arrives from Bat for Lashes: “Daniel.” Directed by Johan Renck, who’s directed videos for Madonna and Kylie Minogue, it’s sort of in the same surreal vein as “What’s a Girl to Do?” A little bit Stevie Nicks, a little bit Bjork, the melancholy music vid stars Natasha Khan in tear-streaked makeup getting molested by a pack of black-clad freaks who look like they just escaped from an insane asylum in which everyone is forced to wear Gareth Pugh. It’s a pretty, sad love song—although why it ends with a Karate Kid reunion, I cannot fathom. The track is the first cut released from the upcoming Bat album, Two Suns. Do you love it or hate it? Shout out in the comments.

This new ad for MAC Cosmetics is a surreal, kinky take on Alice in Wonderland, featuring a trip through a (ahem) pink tunnel that takes Alice into a faraway land, where she gets molested by a roving gang of shirtless, male, SM-styled Hello Kitties. Well, then! Apparently, the four-minute, outre mini-movie is a tie-in to the new Hello Kitty-MAC collaboration. This time around, though, Hello Kitty goes black, and the product line includes Hello Kitty “kitten-eyes,” crosshatched fake eyelashes, Hello Kitty On the Prowl platinum nail polish, and a Hello Kitty plush doll in black pleather. Clearly, all things Alice in Wonderland are looking to be the new new thing. Tim Burton is at work on a live action/stop motion new movie version of Lewis Carroll’s novel, starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Anne Hathaway. Who knows if Burton’s redux will be quite so fetishistic as this.

Shia LaBeouf. He’s not just some kid caught up in a world war between the Autobots and the Decepticons. He’s also a sensitive music video director who likes to shoot on Super 8. Rumspringa, a Los Angeles-based group that cites influences ranging from Johnny Cash to Grandmaster Flash, is one of the 22-year-old actor’s favorite bands. Last summer, he was at one of their gigs the night he ended up getting into the car accident that wrecked his hand, temporarily endangered his role in the “Transformers” sequel, and resulted in his getting his driver’s license suspended for a year. Perhaps to keep himself out of getting into any more trouble, LaBeouf directed Rumspringa’s latest video: “Mind’s Awake.” Interestingly, the song appeared in another video late last year that focused on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Listen, I’m not going to attempt to explain this video. What does it all mean? I have no clue. One thing is for sure. It’s fascinating. On Fox 2 News in Detroit, a sexpert takes to the airwaves for a segment called “The Love Doctor” to reveal what the intimate relationship of Michelle and Barack Obama is really like. Kiki T has already gone there, but I’m down for a second opinion. Fox’s sexpert says there’s a lot of affection between them. “They do a lot of touching,” she says, “kissing,” she continues, “even fisting.” WHAT??? What did she just say??? She said fisting! Wait, does she mean fisting or fisting? Whichever, I can’t imagine George and Laura did a lot of that in the White House.

Mariah Carey always has a lot going on in her fabulous diva life. She’s working on the musical based on her movie “Glitter” coming out. She’s constantly fighting off pregnancy rumors, and now Mimi just got finished working on a new album. I don’t know how she does it all and still keeps that banging bod! Mariah is releasing a new ballads CD, a collection of songs she’s already released—yes, another “Greatest Hits”-esque offering. I’m kind of rolling my eyes too. The CD includes her classic, “Hero,” which Mimi re-recorded and shot a whole new video for. While I usually think everything Mariah does is amazing, this particular video is dreadfully boring. It’s nothing but shots of the city skyline, her dog Jack, and her recording in the studio. Mimi, darling, I know you have enough money to create a bigger and better video. You don’t do anything half-assed, so why start now? Secondly, if you watch the original “Hero” video, shot in 1993 (after the jump) and this “Hero,” 15 years later (see above), Mariah has had so much work done. I’m not sure why—she’s always been gorgeous. Check out the original video after the jump, and the re-done version above.

The holiday season is filled with so many awkward family moments. Like, “Oh, pajamas. They’re, um… pink!” Or, “It’s a good thing Grandpa switched his prostate meds.” It can be scary stuff people, but I didn’t want to freak you out before you got cornered by a week’s worth of bonding time. Now that we’ve all officially survived the triumvirate of American high holy days, we can finally breathe a sigh of relief and laugh at this vintage mother/daughter moment. It left me with a not so fresh feeling—my lunch making its way back up. Guaranteed, nobody’s vagina stinks as much as this conversation.

I’ve been single so long, I was starting to think I’m do everything wrong…that is until I watched this totally ‘80s dating video, “Going On A Manhunt,” brought to us by the studs of VHS at Everything Is Terrible. Sheesh, the “experts” in this vid managed to come up with so many ideas even more overwrought than their permed hair—like using a small stuffed animal to get a man’s attention.  Seriously, what happened to a good old-fashioned low-cut dress?! If pathetically pretending to love a fake pet is what you need to find true love—i.e. a guy wearing an infomercial-style sweater—I’m going to resign myself to real cats and happily be a spinster for life!

“Sean recorded private webcam conversations with his girlfriend and put them on his blog. When she finds out, things go from bad to worse.” I’m not going to spoil “Dumped” by saying too much about it, but suffice to say it’s about a guy who gets dumped, and it has a surprising twist. Thanks to Kasia at Current for sending it.

This is a scream. Zach Galifianakis, who is as funny as he is hirsute, interviews “Mad Men”‘s Jon Hamm, who is my future husband, on “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis” on Funny or Die. The results are dead-pan hilarious. My favorite part is when Galifianakis asks Hamm if his middle name is Honey-baked, and if he’s ever thought about changing his last name to Sausage. I nominate this one for funniest online video of 2008. [Buzzfeed]

I’m a die-hard “Nip/Tuck” fan. Those LA plastic surgeons and their plastic patients—they’re all so strange. I love this surreal new promotional spot for the upcoming sixth season, which premieres on FX on January 6, 2009. The forthcoming episodes will include guest star Rose McGowan as plastic surgeon Teddy Lowe, reuniting her with her “Charmed” costar, Julian McMahon. If the promo is any forecast of what the sixth season holds—with its synchronized plasticized ladies dancing around with surgical scalpels and syringes—I’ll be tuning in for sure.

Fall is what I like to call pantyhose season.  Nothing makes me feel more ladylike than silk, er synthetic, stockings.  When it gets cold enough to wear them, they give me flawlessly smooth gams which in turn let’s me wear even shorter skirts. You know the fabulous woman in this totally 80’s No Nonsense commercial agrees, ho(se) are in style no matter the decade!