Years ago, I was forced to accept my pale skin after burning my face so badly that blisters covered my nose. Now, while others slather on tanning oil with single-digit sun protection, I have to cover myself with a muumuu and wide-brimmed hat for fear of burning. If the Twilight Saga had been around earlier, I might not have had to endure the pain of a lobster red face or waited so long to stock up on SPF. According to the Daily Mail, women are embracing their pale skin following the release of “New Moon.”

It’s not often that, before a movie has even opened, thousands and thousands of people have already bought their tickets. But MovieTickets.com says that “New Moon” has broken all their records—it’s earned the number one spot on the company’s list of the top 10 advance ticket sellers of all time, shooting the record held by “Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith” for five out of the water. Ditto for Fandango. They say that almost half of advance ticket buyers are under the age of 24, and that 87 percent of them are women. [EW]

In honor of the release of “New Moon,” here’s a look at the 10 best vampire movies and TV shows of all time, which you should see immediately. You know, since “New Moon” is sold out, for the next few days anyway.

Warning: for those who are squeamish about needles, blood, or both, this beauty treatment is definitely not for you. So please, carry on, and we’ll catch you later. For the “True Blood” lovers or facial-happy folks, prepared to be intrigued. The latest in anti-aging treatments, according to the Daily Mail, is what’s referred to as “Dracula Therapy,” where a doctor draws your blood, extracts minerals from it, and injects it back into the skin on your face with dozens of pricks. The supposed result? Disappearance of fine lines, improvement of skin tone, and rejuvenated skin. Sounds like something straight out of a horror movie, right?

OK, I’ll admit that the Twilight obsession has officially gone too far. [The Robert Pattinson panties didn’t do it?—Editor] Personally, I’m a total sucker (heh) for the whole vampire trend. I read all of the Twilight books, saw the first movie, and recently fell in love with “The Vampire Diaries.” Whatever—the trend will end at some point. In the meantime, I’m enjoying my vampy entertainment. But now a couple, Annette and Tim Root of Forks, WA, decided to cash in on the obsession by launching a restaurant in the town where the books are set. Crossing the line much? It will be named Volterra, after the Italian city where the Volturi vampires live and so far it’s set to open next spring. What’s on the menu, considering vampires only eat blood? Appropriately, steak will be served (the rarer the better I’m sure) along with seafood options. Huh. What’s next, a glimmer charm school? [Eater]

First there was the Fleshlight, the “sex in a can” sex toy that has a latex vag at one end that dudes can stick their peen in and out of. Now the creators of this foul-yet-genius product—which purports to be the #1 selling sex toy for men—have come up with the Succu Dry for guys who like their fake sex in the form of toothy blow jobs. This latex orifice is molded into the shape of a sexy vampire chick’s mouth, complete with fangs—because vampires are so hot right now. [$45, Fleshlight.com]

People magazine will release a “New Moon” special to the ravenous, adoring masses tomorrow. The tween girl set will dutifully purchase it, their mothers will surreptitiously steal it, and every dude will hate it. We’ve told you why chicks dig vampires and men don’t, while Esquire says it’s because the vamps are batting for the other team, but this doesn’t begin to cover it. Men, well, straight men have hated vampires since Bram Stoker—they’re hardwired for it.

The Sexist has taken the time to put together “The 10 Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes,” and, my god, they are awful. Pictured: the Down for the Count costume for vampire fanatics and those who have forever dreamed of spending a Halloween wandering around dressed as Dracula with a blowup doll performing oral sex on them. I’m sure any dude would be the life of the party in that grand getup. And it’s only $59.99! Check out the rest of The Sexist’s scary sexy costumes for the Spaghetti Penis costume, Camille Toe, and Finding Sexy Nemo.

I don’t care if I don’t have any babies yet, I’m buying this vampire teeth pacifier for my future kiddie. Sure, baby time is still a couple years away, but do any of you actually see the vampire trend ending any time in the next decade? And even if it does magically move on before I have kids, a baby isn’t going to care if she’s sporting a passé style. You know what else she won’t care about? That people are pointing and laughing. [$6.70, Amazon]

Attention “True Blood” fanatics! While it ain’t exactly synthetic vampire blood, it does look a lot like the real stuff—and will supposedly give you a bit of a boost in an energy-juice sort of way. Introducing Blood Energy Potion by a company called Urban Collection: It looks like blood, has similar viscosity, shares the same nutritional composition and comes in a resealable plastic bag ... just like blood! Perhaps the perfect Halloween accessory? Then again, could you actually imagine sipping this or would it totally gross you out? [InventorSpot]

Here a vampire, there a vampire. “Twilight.” “True Blood.” “The Vampire Diaries.” These days, you can’t leave the house without running into another bloodsucker. Now, Playboy magazine has jumped on the bloodthirsty bandwagon with their new October issue. The cover is a pulp fiction tribute to hot girl-on-girl throat-bleeder action, starring Playmates Kasia Danysz and Weronika Zurkowska. Inside, the magazine explores the finer nuances of 21st century vampire life, including “why the undead are hot again.” You’ve come a long way, Dracula. [io9]

When I try to explain my ardor for HBO’s trashy-fabulous soap opera “True Blood” to my dude friends, they either shrug and change the topic, or question whether I’ve been writing for ladyblogs for too long and am suffering from a form of Stockholm Syndrome. Dudes just don’t dig bloodsuckers, since vampires pretty much look like girls. We prefer zombies, because we love chainsaws, flamethrowers, and samurai swords. And because, on some level, we know that besides being vehicles for sperm, our other important, if lesser, genetic imperative is to defend our loved ones from hordes of unthinking, flesh-eating metaphors for current social anxieties.

The actress posted this photo on her Twitter and tweeted, “my dream…true blood is AMAZING.” Is this a little hint to Alan Ball that she’d like to put on some fangs? [via sevinnyne6126]

There’s nothing sexy about sporting a hickey, but a little vampire love bite peeking out from beneath the flip of your long, tousled hair? Um, yes. If you want to give everyone the idea you scored a date with one of the hotties from “True Blood” — and that things went well — this vampire love bite illusion necklace created by Etsy seller, GiraffeNeck, will do the trick. Made with a nylon-coated steel wire and two strategically placed red crystal beads, the necklace is an obvious must-have for all the fangbangers among us. [$9, Etsy]

“She’s not necessarily a lesbian. [...] Her human partner is a girl, but I’m pretty sure she goes both ways [laughs]. I think vampires are like that in general.”

—Actress Evan Rachel Wood, who debuts this Sunday as Queen Sophie-Anne on “True Blood” [E! Online]

We heart vampires, but even we know they’re just having their day in the sun. Vamps are a trend that will soonish return to the darkest depths of subculture. But who, or rather, what will rise to take their place? Benicio del Toro is backing the werewolf camp. Check out this trailer for his new flick, “The Wolfman.” Oh, if only we could get our claws in him! But is Benicio beastly enough to reign in world werewolf domination? Or will zombies kill it? Let’s examine the evidence in this blood-thirsty supernatural face-off!

Because nothing and no one is safe from the far-ranging influence of Twilight, Lady Gaga and OUT Magazine have now officially gone vampire. She of the crazy clothes can be found this month in the mag’s pages clad as scantily as ever, but they’ve traded in her usual avant-garde fare for plenty of skin, black leather, a whole lot of blood-smearing and the sort of skeleton-loving we’re pretty sure can’t be totally legal. [The Insider]

“Twilight” groupies who can’t stop—won’t stop—at prowling Forks, Washington, for Edward and Bella, rejoice! On August 10, a weekly show with the news and gossip about “New Moon,” the next flick in the “Twilight” saga, will debut on ReelzChannel. Executives say they “Twilight Weekly: Spotlight” will be the first-ever weekly TV show about an upcoming movie. Whether this staves off or revs up the next deluge of Robert Pattinson/Taylor Lautner obsession until it comes out in November remains to be seen. [NY Times]

It’s been, let’s see, almost three months since I’ve gotten laid. I’ve done a little making out, but in general, most of my sexual satisfaction these days is from watching “True Blood” every Sunday on HBO. It’s been a big year for vampires, but an even bigger one for vampire sex, which has got everyone from teenagers and Midwestern moms, to geek fan boys and, um, twentysomething bloggers obsessed with how they have it (“True Blood”) and how they resist having it (in “Twilight”). In both of these examples, the human is female and the vampire is male. That’s given some the idea that the vampire sex is bad for women because it fetishizes the meshing of sex, violence, and romance. To that I say, whatevs. If this fantasy is bad for women, well, then it’s good for me.

• Rihanna could be fined for illegally inking three tattoo artists. [Starpulse]
• Michael Jackson was reportedly working on two albums at the time of his death. [Entertainment Weekly]—If Tupac can release albums after his death, so can Michael.
• Amber Rose is rocking a turquoise hair now. [Dlisted]—We wouldn’t pull this off, but it looks superb on her.

The front page of the latest New York Times Style section is plastered with the faces of sexy vampires. Not that vampires are not the “it” sex symbols of the moment, but whenever the Times writes about something, that thing has inevitably jumped the shark. Not that I think the blood suckers from “Twilight” are going to be disappearing any time soon, but I think vampires have reached their zenith. I wish “True Blood” many more seasons of sex and sucking, but vampire culture is past its prime. The real question is, what is the next supernatural creature millions of girls will lust after? After a thorough and exhausting inventory of the non-human hotties out there, I bring you your next fantasy.