Comparing a man’s package to a banana is nothing new. But now, this organ is getting linked to bananas for more than its physical shape. AussieBum, an Australian underwear company, has created an eco-friendly line of men’s underwear that is made from 27 percent banana fiber, 64 percent cotton, and nine percent Lycra. (AussieBum uses the bark weave from the banana plant to make the fiber.) The underwear is not only lightweight, but also absorbent. Now wearers won’t have to worry about salty balls in the summer—that sounds like a win-win for them and their lovers. [Reuters, AussieBum]

Whether it’s the mesh thong, bralessness or excessive butt-to-wall friction that’s convinced us is hard to say, but somehow we think that the Jacques Sports Issue is as much about sports as the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is about competitive swimming. That said, given Jacques’ tendency to celebrate all things buxom and nearly naked, the issue may very well provide exercise, umm, inspiration for some. [Copyranter]

As if thigh-slimming Spanx weren’t embarrassing enough, the company now makes these torso-covering panties. The brief style comes attached to a panel of super-tight elastic material, which goes up so high it sits right under your boobs. Wonder if they’ll start making these with a bicycle-short cut ... aw, hell, might as well just make a full-body Spanxsuit in that case. [Nitrolicious]

As we watch them get ever thinner and tighter jeans certainly seem to be on a pretty clear trend path. Taking that notion to extremes, Topshop presents these “denim look” boyshorts (OK, so they’re not real jeans, but still). What would you call these? Denties? Junderwear? Jeanderpants? [$8, Topshop]

So, you know how you’re supposed to wash underwear you buy before wearing it? Well, that always seemed like a silly rule to us, but there’s a reason for it. Apparently a lot of stores will let you return underwear and bathing suits, even if they appear used, and then put them back on the rack and sell them to unassuming customers. Gross. [Today]

You know how sometimes you’re out and talking to some dude and somehow the topic of conversation gets around to working out or muscles or some such thing and all of a sudden he’s flexing for you? Or, worse yet, doing that thing where he makes his chest muscle dance? No? Just me? Whatever, it happens and it’s weird as hell. It’s not, however, as weird as the 84-second video of a girl in a thong playing video games and flexing her epic butt cheeks. The perplexing video seems to have been generated by a dame who goes by the name of Tahiticora, but would probably be better used as the most successful video game ad ever. With almost 215,000 views in the last two weeks, the makers of whatever game she’s playing should probably be paying her royalties. Full, not particularly safe for work video making nerdy dudes everywhere very happy is after the jump. [Copyranter]

What if you could go for days at a time without changing your underwear? This sounds like a guy’s dream, but we’d have to admit it’d tickle us, too. (Seriously, is it just us, or do you go through tons of pairs throughout the week?) Now there’s J-Wear, a very limited-edition underwear collection that came out of space travel research when a Japanese astronaut needed some heavy-duty panties (you can’t really change them up in outer space, apparently). A textile company came up with a powder to work in tandem with the cloth so that it kills bacteria, absorbs water, and dries quickly. The main benefit: they stay odorless for up to three days. How is that even possible?! An equally believable added bonus is that they “have flame-resistant and anti-static properties,” which would appeal to people in dangerous careers like firefighting or race car driving. Or, maybe even you ... we don’t know what pyrotechnics go on in your bedroom? [Inventor Spot]

Megan Fox‘s video for Emporio Armani underwear has two key things people will be looking for: Megan Fox and underwear. Why waste thousands of dollars on the music? Shrug.

This Russian supermodel is usually a little more reserved, so someone is having a really happy birthday indeed ... Find out who it is after the jump!

Everyone hates cellulite, which explains why the market for products that claim to rid your body of those unsightly spots is so saturated. But the sad truth is that while you can buy a million creams, it’s really exercise and genetics that determine just how affected you’ll be. The latest company to create an anti-cellulite product is Advantage Organic, which boasts a pair of undergarments made of neem oil, basil leaves, and pure silver. Neem is used in Indian skincare products to ease irritations, and claims to reduce cellulite on your body. So far, the design comes in a t-shirt and shorts, but the company is working on a line of lingerie for the Western world. Just how thongs will change the appearance of your thighs, though, is beyond me. [Telegraph]

I’m somewhat sorry to say that I gave up my thong panties along time ago. The truth is I only wore them once and that was enough for a lifetime as far as I am concerned. There is nothing sexy to me about having a ribbon of material stuck up my butt. It may sound cute or sexy, but it doesn’t feel cute or sexy. Know what I mean? I did get a thong because I had heard it would make me feel sexy, and it would get rid of the dreaded “panty line.” Uh huh. What is so wrong with a panty line? Or for that matter, if your panty line shows, the clothes are too damned tight for you!

The other day, I was reading the Red Sole Bride blog, which always has the most amazing wedding and bridal items. She asked her readers: “Brides, have you thought of wearing something special for your husband-to-be on your wedding night (other than your wedding gown)?” Rather than something strictly bridal for the bedroom, she wondered about wearing something “slinky” and “cheeky” and pointed to the legendarily naughty Agent Provocateur’s new Soirée line, which AP proclaims the “pinnacle of luxury.” Among the eye-popping ensembles is this Fonda Playsuit & Pasties. The cost of white bondage straps, leather pasties, and crystal strands? A whopping $2,790. Hey, if you can afford it (and pull it off), why not go for it? [The Red Sole Bride]

Not every girl feels comfortable in vampy lingerie. And now, those of us who prefer more demure underthings can stock up on bras and boyshorts with a dash of old-fashioned glamour at Anthropologie. The store has several sets of “underpinnings” that are more modest than the usual bedroom attire; however, just because they aren’t slinky doesn’t mean they aren’t sexy. [$16 and up, Anthropologie] 

According to the New York Times (and they’ve been on a real roll this week), when it comes to the male undies category, it’s all about the brief. When did the reign of the boxer come to an end exactly? It’s impossible to be certain, but it could have something to do with the recession: “A few years ago, brands started coming out with more and more collections and retiring them sooner,” said Michael Kleinmann, the president of Freshpair, a 10-year-old online underwear retailer. “But when the economy started changing, they scaled it back.” Whatever the reason, according to our rather epic post, “What His Underwear Says About Him,” this is a style favored by Tom Cruise, military types and hipsters. Now we can add fashion-forward gents to the list, too. [New York Times]