Because nothing and no one is safe from the far-ranging influence of Twilight, Lady Gaga and OUT Magazine have now officially gone vampire. She of the crazy clothes can be found this month in the mag’s pages clad as scantily as ever, but they’ve traded in her usual avant-garde fare for plenty of skin, black leather, a whole lot of blood-smearing and the sort of skeleton-loving we’re pretty sure can’t be totally legal. [The Insider]

It doesn’t take much to get “Twilight” fans in a tizzy. This new 14-second teaser trailer for “New Moon” is certainly doing the trick. What does the trailer show us? To, uh, not have high expectations for the acting and dialogue in this flick. OK, fine. We won’t judge it on this tiny snippet. But I think we can all agree that the highlight here is Taylor Lautner‘s bod. He’s over 18, right?

These days, everyone and their mother is reading and writing about vampires. And apparently Twilight author Stephenie Meyer and lesser-known scribe Jordan Scott have “similar” vampy storylines. Scott is claiming that Meyer plagiarized main bits of Breaking Dawn from her novel The Nocturne, which was released in 2006. So what’s the beef?

There’s something very fishy going on in “Twilight” land. Rachelle Lefevre, who played evil vampire Victoria in the first two flicks, has been replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard (aka, Ron Howard’s daughter) in the third film, “Eclipse.” Coincidentally, the third movie is when Victoria gets the most screen time. Summit Entertainment, the studio behind the film, said they recast the role due to “scheduling conflicts” with Lefevre’s much smaller indie flick, “Barney’s Version,” starring Dustin Hoffman and Paul Giamatti. But Lefevre begs to differ about the conflict.

• Jennifer Love Hewitt wants to be part of the “Twilight” series so badly she’s offered to play “the vampire who carries Robert Pattinson’s luggage to the airport.” [Starpulse] – Is that human blood I smell? Or desperation?
• Tobey Maguire’s mother and brother will be starring in a new reality TV show called “Growing Up Maguire.” [Celebitchy] – But…why?
• Swimmer Ricky Berens had a wardrobe malfunction before competing Sunday, but he still helped the U.S. secure a spot in the 4x100m relay freestyle finals at the world swimming championships in Italy. [Dumb As A Blog]

How convenient for rich tweeners who need both a $300 pair of shoes and “Twilight” t-shirt: Nordstrom will be hawking “New Moon” clothes come October 15. R-Patz obsessives can snatch up both a $32 “Team Edward” tee and a $30 necklace that features the family crest of the fictional Edwards clan. (There are tank tops and plaid jackets, too.) The price range is cheaper than we’d suspect from Nordstrom, but it’s also merch we’d expect to find at Hot Topic instead. Guess Nordstrom must really need the clams? [NY Daily News]

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart couldn’t hide their nerd love at a ComicCon conference for “New Moon.” Girl, if he still wants to bone you, despite the mullet, you know it’s L-O-V-E. [San Diego, 7/24/09]

“Twilight” groupies who can’t stop—won’t stop—at prowling Forks, Washington, for Edward and Bella, rejoice! On August 10, a weekly show with the news and gossip about “New Moon,” the next flick in the “Twilight” saga, will debut on ReelzChannel. Executives say they “Twilight Weekly: Spotlight” will be the first-ever weekly TV show about an upcoming movie. Whether this staves off or revs up the next deluge of Robert Pattinson/Taylor Lautner obsession until it comes out in November remains to be seen. [NY Times]

It’s been, let’s see, almost three months since I’ve gotten laid. I’ve done a little making out, but in general, most of my sexual satisfaction these days is from watching “True Blood” every Sunday on HBO. It’s been a big year for vampires, but an even bigger one for vampire sex, which has got everyone from teenagers and Midwestern moms, to geek fan boys and, um, twentysomething bloggers obsessed with how they have it (“True Blood”) and how they resist having it (in “Twilight”). In both of these examples, the human is female and the vampire is male. That’s given some the idea that the vampire sex is bad for women because it fetishizes the meshing of sex, violence, and romance. To that I say, whatevs. If this fantasy is bad for women, well, then it’s good for me.

Good job, stupid Twilighters. Your insanity has made Robert Pattinson hate NYC and all its women. While shooting “Remember Me” in Manhattan, the heartthrob has been bombarded by desperate, love-starved tweens hoping to cop a feel. They are so bad that Pattinson’s “Remember Me” costars are worried. First there was that whole running-away-from-fans-and-getting-hit-by-a-cab incident. They also say he has lost a lot of weight and is miserable. He’s had to hotel hop so that his obnox fans won’t find out where he’s staying. R-Patz refuses to even look up any more for fear of egging on his wacko fans.

The front page of the latest New York Times Style section is plastered with the faces of sexy vampires. Not that vampires are not the “it” sex symbols of the moment, but whenever the Times writes about something, that thing has inevitably jumped the shark. Not that I think the blood suckers from “Twilight” are going to be disappearing any time soon, but I think vampires have reached their zenith. I wish “True Blood” many more seasons of sex and sucking, but vampire culture is past its prime. The real question is, what is the next supernatural creature millions of girls will lust after? After a thorough and exhausting inventory of the non-human hotties out there, I bring you your next fantasy.

Forks, Washington, where the “Twilight” trilogy takes place, sounds like the most boring town in the world. The weather sucks and it’s way the eff up in the middle of nowhere. I’m not surprised only 3,000 people live there. But delusional die-hard “Twilight” fans don’t see it that way. Last weekend, $300 “Twilight” Forks tours were offered, flooding the town with squealing tweens. Twilighters gathered in the drab town to go to Forks High School, where they were given fake diplomas. There was also a “prom,” where bands like the Bella Cullen Project and Bella Rocks played. A tour of Forks was offered as well. OK, I’m starting to get a little freaked-out. These people do realize that “Twilight” isn’t real right, RIGHT? Yeah, and before you say the movie was filmed there, well, it wasn’t. Most of the flick was shot in Oregon.  [People]

This hilarious video by Jonathan McIntosh in genius. Watch the whole thing and, I promise, your day will be made. I love R-Patz as much as the next gal but his obsession with Bella is a little creepy. Buffy’s reaction makes more sense.

According to one writer, Edward Cullen, the moody heartthrob of “Twilight” (in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last year or so), has ruined, just ruined the chances of young men when it comes to wooing their female counterparts. Ergo, Lydia Netzer lists “Ten Ways ‘Twilight’ Has Ruined a Generation of High School Girlfriends.” Apparently, Cullen’s sullen, pouty ways, heroic casualness, and come-here-go-away dating vibe has won the hearts of teen girls but destroyed the likelihood of teen boys scoring with them.

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s twin daughters were born yesterday via a surrogate. The babies’ names are Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick and Tabitha Hodge Broderick. [Quickies]—That first name sucks ass, even if it has familial significance.
• Mattel is releasing “Twilight” dolls in the likeness of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson’s characters, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. [Perez Hilton]—OK, Kristen officially has to give up her I’m-so-awkward-I’m-cool shtick because nothing spells conformity like M-A-T-T-E-L.
• How did Tanner P. from “The Bachelorette” know that Jillian’s feet were “softer than s**t?” [E! Online]—I guess he’s had a ton of crap in his life.