This weekend, when I was in Atlantic City, one of my fellow ragers asked me if she could borrow my tweezers so she could pluck a nipple hair. A nipple hair? She had nipple hair? “Yeah, don’t you?” I honestly didn’t know. She also said she waxed above her lip. Crap, I’ve never waxed my lip. Have I been walking around with a ‘stache for years and no one has ever told me and that’s why I can’t get a rebound to save my life right now?!

On last nights episode of “The Hills” the female ‘stache came back to haunt me—Lauren Conrad had a very obvious dusting of facial fuzz about her lip. If Lauren Conrad has a mustache I must have it too. This morning, the grooming obsession continued when I discovered a horrendous ingrown hair bump, um, you know where. Eww. Maybe I should start listening to the lady mags and actually wax from now on. Especially since I am about to jump back into the dating pool—with that in mind, I decided to ask the dudes on my IM about what they look for, grooming-wise, in a bed mate. I didn’t tell them about my ingrown hair though. I’m hoping it’s gone by the time I sleep with any of them.

Women typically date their own age or older, whereas guys typically date their own age or younger—I suppose this is because women mature faster than men, but once you’ve reached full on adulthood, certainly maturity evens out somewhat. With that in mind, I decided to find out what their rules are when it comes to dating older or younger women. Their answers may surprise you. I even got tingly.

I’ve been thinking a lot about cheating lately, and what constitutes cheating for men and women. Personally, I think anything physical starting with kissing is cheating, though of course it increases in severity the more clothes come off. Emotional cheating is very real in my opinion too—I would be dismayed to find out that my ex, I don’t know, was having, say, a developing emotional affair, possibly, with his younger female coworker, confiding in her and sending her notes about missing her. No physical boundary may have been crossed, but giving your heart to someone, when it belongs to someone else, is just as bad to me. But what about men? Do they have the same guidelines? And how much would they forgive?

The guys on my IM, while occasionally boneheaded, shallow, and doofusey, are, in general, really nice guys who have been incredibly honest with their opinions on matters of sex and dating and love. As a result, I’ve learned so much about the opposite sex! Over the last seven months, these guys have opened my eyes, rocked my world, and, at times, made me realize just how wrong I was about men. After the jump, the 10 most surprising, fascinating, and soul-shaking revelations I’ve had, thanks to them.

Last night’s episode of “Gossip Girl” was awesomely irritating. After pursuing Blair for ages, Chuck finally got her exactly where he wanted her—about to give up some lovin’—but then turned the tables on her instead. It seems that Chuck wants to be chased, instead of the other way around. Say what? I’ve long been confused about whether men like women to be aloof or aggressive. Or aggressively aloof, if such a thing is possible. I’m not good at being either of those three things, which is why the prospect of gag, puke, blech, DATING again makes me wrinkle my nose. With that in mind, I decided to ask the men I trust so much I keep our relationships confined to IM, whether men like to be chased or do the chasing.

I watched “The Real Housewives Of Atlanta” this weekend and was blown away by the rampant materialism, excess, and over-the-top maintenance enjoyed by the stars of the show. Most of the women are married, or have boyfriends, who revel in their traditional feminine shallowness, and while these women may be EXTREME examples, I have often noticed that some of the most pain-in-the-ass women I know have nice, normal, sweet guys dying at their feet. IS there an appeal to high-maintenance women? And what the hell is it? Do I need to spend three hours getting ready to go to the gym in order to find a nice new man these days? I chatted up the guys on my IM to find out.

On Sunday’s episode of “Californication”, Charlie, Hank Moody’s agent, got caught by his calculating assistant (and former spanking partner) masturbating at work. On film. A lot. Later on in the episode, as Charlie lamented being fired, Hank sympathized, “No man should ever have to bear witness to his o-face.” Um, what? If that’s how Hank Moody, the sex addict, feels about seeing yourself engaged in sexual pleasure, than why, oh why, do so many regular men want to make homemade porns with their girlfriends and spouses? Given the popularity of XTube and YouPorn, I’ve got plenty of evidence to back up my theory that most, if not all guys are totally down to get it on, on film. But aren’t they afraid of seeing their o-face, as Hank suggests? And really, what IS the goal of filming a porn at home? I went to the guys on my IM to find out.

There’s been ado about the complete and utter MILF-ish/VPILF-ish-ness of Sarah Palin. Yesterday, I was sitting and eating lunch next to a table of men, all in their 40’s, who were discussing Palin’s hotness, how she would be sexier with her hair down, and that her critics just think she’s “too pretty”. All that got me thinking about how guys feel about Palin—not just her positions on the issues, but her readiness for the job AND whether looks are playing as much of a factor in the enthusiasm for her as the market for VPILF T-shirts would lead us to believe. So I asked the guys on my IM what they think of the Vice-Presidential nominee. In defense of the seemingly liberal slant of this particular post, I really did try and discuss the topic with the lone conservative guy on my IM (aka The Prepster), but I kept getting his Away message.

We all have insecurities don’t we? When I was a teenager, I was hit with a triple dose of the fuglies, getting glasses, braces, and a raging case of acne within a two month period. I don’t think the insecurity that arose during that time has ever gone away completely, though now I worry more about my muffin top than I do about my skin. That said, some women obsess way too much about their so-called “imperfections”. But what about dudes? Do they spend hours starring in the mirror, willing the gigantic whiteheads between their brows to go away? I decided to ask the guys on my IM about men and body insecurities. When none of them brought up the size of their penis, I, of course, asked.

I imagine that Fashion Week must be the most annoying ridiculous chain of events for straight men—it’s the week when a bunch of gay designers and pretentious fashion editors dictate what women will be wearing in the forthcoming months, and most of it looks like total crap in eyes of MAN. With that in mind, I decided to ask the guys on our IM about the fashion trends they find appealing on women and which ones the absolutely deplore. Surprise—two words rhyming with “pladiator scandals” popped up.

Dang, “What Would You Do With A D—k For A Day?” really was a hot topic huh? Thanks for stopping by gentlemen and cluing us into some fun we might have missed. But the thing really weighing on my mind? Do guys ever consider what they would do with a vagina for a day? I suspected that A) they would either be too uncreative to have actually considered it or B) only considered the sexual aspects, and after discussing the topic with a few of the guys on my IM, guess what? I was right!

Watching Mad Men has made me slightly nostalgic (well as “nostalgic” as I can be for an era in which I wasn’t even a zygote) for the days when people drank at 9am (at work too!), men wore suits every day, and women rocked brooches and perfectly coiffed up-do’s. But it also has made me think about traditional gender roles, particularly the role of the woman in the home—cooking, cleaning, attending to the social calendar, and raising the children. Now that women are largely active and succeeding in the work force, “women’s work” has become something that a lot of women don’t want to do, have to do, or know how to do. While I love to cook and cleaning is my OCD vice, I can’t sew to save my life and wouldn’t know what to do when it came to making a table centerpiece. Catherine can’t cook and doesn’t have an interest in learning—but because so many of our mothers still fit these roles when we were growing up, do modern men still expect their future wives to nurture in the same way, despite having careers outside the home? In a nutshell, will Catherine’s future hubby be letdown when she tells him, “Sorry mister, I am not going to learn how to cook your mother’s famous tuna casserole”? I decided to ask the guys on my IM whether they still expect modern women to be “domestically skilled”.

Last week I guest hosted Maxim Radio on Sirius and one of the topics we covered was whether men find it unattractive when women curse or use words like “douchebag”—it was unclear from the calls we got whether men stand firmly on either side, so I decided to ask the guys on my IM the same question. Do men really think a woman saying the f-word is unattractive or is a lady with a truck driver’s mouth even hotter because of her profane language? Their answers, after the %$#&ing jump…

We’ve all been seduced, but have you ever done the seducing? I have, and I am not going to recount the details here, but let’s just say it involved a pitcher of beer, a brick wall, and some serious guts. I think we’re always hearing women’s seduction stories—how that one guy totally put that awesome Journey song on the jukebox and asked you to dance, blah, blah, blah—but I am far more interested in hearing about the women after my own heart who took the reins and did the wooing herself. After the jump, the guys on my IM have got some stories to tell…

I have this theory that if I had had sexual relations with my fiance on the first date, rather than, um, later down the line (hi, future in-laws!), we would probably not be getting married, because we probably wouldn’t have had a second date. Not to make my fiance sound like an a-hole, because he really is not, but he definitely, at that single guy period of his life, was intrigued by my insistence that we take it slow. If we had slept together right away, there wouldn’t have been an excuse to see me again—like a lot of horny dudes, I’m sure he was initially interested in me for my amazingly hot body (kidding!), and, you know, a dash of my winning personality and intelligence. I know there’s a theory floating from woman to woman which says that, if you’re actually interested in a guy for more than just sex, you should wait to sleep with him until the third date—women, and I am totally generalizing here, think men lose interest if you sleep with them before that third date and also lose interest if you wait longer than that. Curious to see if this is true at all and if women give men enough credit, I decided to ask a few of the guys on my IM. And ladies? You can sleep with these dudes whenever you want. It’s clear that first date, third date, 50th date, they are down.

Maybe this is naive of me, but I had no idea that men felt so passionately about masturbation—dudes responded in droves to our list of songs about self-love, and a little bitterly, I might add. So obviously, this got my frisky mind working and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk to the guys on our IM about their own masturbation habits. We have a couple newbies joining us (including one who didn’t even want an alias), and two of our regulars wanted to be completely anonymous. Guess guys are a little shy when it comes to dishing about diddling. Their responses to my nosy questions, after the jump…

Thinking about Friday’s slideshow of celebrities and their “types”, I got to thinking about the guys on my IM and whether they stuck with the same type of gal, either in relationships or casual hookups. Previous to the man-friend, I sort of went for emotional musician/writer types—and still occasionally get a little fire in my belly for guys like them (sorry honey!)—but discovered that true love comes when you open your mind to someone outside your usual desires (and other such Hallmark sentiments). Additionally, I was curious what types of women the average guy would cheat with—someone similar to his girlfriend, or her complete opposite in personality and looks? Their responses, after the jump…

On Friday, we heard that Reggie Bush wants Kim Kardashian to lose weight because she has too much junk in the trunk. It seems a trend is developing…either that or men are losing their dang minds. Chris Brown reportedly told Rihanna to stop wearing revealing outfits. Apparently, he is worried her clothing will attract too many male admirers. But isn’t that the point? Let’s be honest, the whole appeal of Rihanna is her image. [Her songs are pretty catchy too!—Ed.] Young women want to copy her style, and young men want her on their arm. If you take away the racy stage costumes, what is left besides a pretty face? Rihanna, who has not confirmed her relationship with Chris, should get herself a more mature man who is more trusting and actually appreciates the work she puts into her look. [China Daily]

But all this got us thinking…would the guys on our IM ever be so judgmental of their girlfriends’ fashion choices? Amelia finds out, after the jump…

So, one of the gossip items making the rounds today is that Jake Gyllenhaal has to live by all sorts of CUH-RAZY rules now that he is living with Reese Witherspoon and her kids. Stuff like not putting his feet on the coffee table and being openly communicative all the time. The jist of the story is that Reese is, like, a mega-dominant partner and Jake’s got to be submissive—and that he likes it that way. But it got me thinking about the dudes on my IM and whether they play the role of dominant or submissive in their relationships—in and out of the bedroom. Their responses and a tangent about gender roles, after the jump…

So, you know that story we’ve been chatting about lately? The one about how one in four New Yorkers with multiple partners (potentially a reflection of the rest of the country) doesn’t use condoms all the time? Well in addition to our poll(s) on the subject, I decided I wanted to pester the guys on my IM about this because I think it’s kind of easy to say to blame dudes for low condom usage—after all, they’re the ones who have to strap ‘em on either at their own discretion or because the chick they’re having sex with makes them in order to get any nookie. So do dudes leap at any opportunity to go rubber-less? Let’s find out.